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MaliciousCompliance
r/MaliciousCompliance
9.2k
Posted by13 hours ago
Silver

Want to put a cross in my room ? Ok

SOC

Only disclaimer is that my parents are great. Hope you find it funny, I still chuckle when I remember this.

Setting: Many years ago, I was ~16 years old, living with my parents, recent Atheist (although long time doubter).

After telling my parent that I'm an atheist, my mother put a cross and icon (* religious painting) in my room. I asked her to remove it, but she wouldn't, saying something like - maybe it will make you more religious.

I told her that while the cross and icon are in my room, I will read a passage from the Bible every day - out loud, so she can hear. And she was very happy to hear this.

The next day, I googled "worst bible verses", chose a short passage carefully, and read it from a physical Bible we had in the house. Her reaction was: "This is in the Bible ?", and I showed her. Same thing happened the second day.

The 3rd day I went to pick up the Bible, she sighed and told me to get the icon and cross down, so she can put them in her room. And that was the end of it.


Edit: One of the passages was Genesis 19:8

865 comments
93% Upvoted
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level 1

Ezekiel 23:20

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

NIV

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level 2

I think that's the last one I wanted to read, lucky for her I didn't get to :-)

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level 2

Ha, odd that he made the distinction between donkeys and horses. Like of course everyone knows a horses emission is greater than a donkeys.

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level 2

I'm partial to Matthew 10:34, where Jesus says "Do not think I come to bring peace to the world, for I bring with me not peace, but a Sword!"

No one expects the 'Prince of Peace' to fuck yo shit up.

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level 2

Hahaha my sister renamed her Netflix name to a Bible verse to shame my brother who is part of the LGBTQIA+ community. So I changed my username to this verse 😊

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level 2

I keep this one in my wallet to reference when religious evangelists won't leave me alone

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level 2

(Sigh) unzip…

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level 2
· 5 hr. ago · edited 4 hr. ago

Personally I'm partial to Exodus 4:24-26:

“On the way, at a place where they spent the night, the Lord met him and tried to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin, and touched Moses’ feet with it, and said, ‘Truly you are a bridegroom of blood to me!’ So he let him alone. It was then she said, ‘A bridegroom of blood by circumcision.’”

I attempted to read the Bible a few times and was bored put of my mind. Then I came across this verse. Totally woke me up and sold me on the whole Christianity thing.

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level 2

There's a couple who shoots videos of them singing the worse bible passages to music they've written, and this is one of the ones they did. They're incredibly talented and it's absolutely hilarious.

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level 2

Now this is some smut I can get into! You say this is in the Bible? Hot damn I've been sleeping on it this whole time!

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level 2

I've actually used that verse against Jehovahas and the mormons.

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level 2
· 4 hr. ago

When Ezekiel Elliot actually scored touchdowns for the Dallas Cowboys, I so badly wanted someone in the end zone seats to flash an Ezekiel 23:20 sign. If people can show John 3:14, why not?

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level 2

Train should have gone with those lyrics instead of that stupid "acts like summer and walks like rain" crap.

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level 2

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

KJV.

Tl;dr: If you issue, don’t forget the tissue.

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level 2

Sure it’s dirty but there’s a lot worse in the Bible morality wise

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level 2

Ezekiel the worlds first incel

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level 2

Is the implication that donkeys have bigger dicks than horses, or that horses fart more than donkeys?

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People conforming to the letter, but not the spirit, of a request.
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