I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Dapper_Lemon_7495 in r/TrueOffMyChest

trigger warnings: Mention of mental illness

mood spoilers: Concerning, fate of OOP's ex-fiance is unknown

My fiancee got a face tattoo without talking to anyone - november 4th, 2022

I... am honestly stunned right now.

My fiancee "Kim" I have just learned is completely insane. She took some days off work this week "Sick" and avoided seeing most people in person. She claimed she was feeling sick and just wanted to stay home alone. She has never given me any indication that she would lie about this in the 6 years we've been together. No one in her family had any worries because she was a stable individual who would never do anything crazy.

She got a face tattoo.

She took 3 sick days from work to recover from the fact that she got a face tattoo. She told no one of this plan beforehand. I have never in our time together been talked to about tattoos by Kim. She showed no indication that she was even interested in getting any. I was not even the first to learn. Her sister visited her because she got worried after Kim canceled meeting with her for lunch on her 3rd day "Sick" and got the grand reveal. She didn't tell anyone beforehand because she "Didn't want to be talked out of it" and hit the results because the swelling and redness were so bad that we would "react badly and not be able to understand the artistic meaning."

Kim is Asian American. She got Japanese symbols going down her forehead and under her eye. I don't know the meaning of them. I don't really know if I care to know the meaning of them. Kim's parents are Japanese immigrants. According to her sister, who was nice enough to inform me of this whole debacle, this is a big no-no in Japanese culture. Tattoos have links to crime and are looked down upon. Her parents are beside themselves and that is a whole other set of drama I can't even begin to approach.

Kim talked to me last night about it, and acted offended and started a fight because I told her it was absolutely insane of her to do this. She works a public-facing job. She talks face-to-face with clients in the financial industry. The minute her boss finds out, the career that she went to school for will be over. She actually didn't consider her job, or family, or me at all and decided "a long time ago" she was going to express herself freely without any concerns.

I'm worried about her right now. This is not normal. She blocked my number after our fight and is ghosting me and her sister because we're trying to help. But, dear lord, this is far beyond me. I cannot comprehend what I'm even supposed to do right now. Kim's lost her mind. Is there any chance I will be happy married to.... this? A woman who went and got a face tattoo, and hid that fact because she knew we would all talk her out of it> Dear lord I really need to run don't I?

Update- Made in the original post - november 5th, 2022

Wow, uh, this got some attention huh?

I read through the replies, but I can't really respond to all of you so I'll just update here. The engagement is pretty much off. Kim has told me she never wants to see me again and I woke up this morning with her ring and a box of stuff I gave her on my porch. I don't know what's going on with her. Her sister and family have been trying their best, but nothing on their end is working. I brought up to her sister the idea this is a mental breakdown and they are looking into getting her help. It's painfully slow, considering Kim is not responding to anything and is refusing to talk to anyone.

I really don't know what to say here, I guess? To answer some questions, Kim is 29, and I'm 28. In the 7 years, I've known her, she has never acted like this at all. She had a good relationship with her parents and while they were a bit overbearing at times, they supported her in going to college and getting a career rather than starting a family. From what I've gathered, they probably would have been fine with any tattoo she got as long as it was not on her face, neck, or hands. Even then, this kind of behavior is as far from Kim as I could have imagined. She just, lost her mind out of nowhere? It's not like I can do anything about it either. She's blocked my number and does not want to see me. I'm just at a loss for words. One day I'm engaged, and the net I'm not and my Ex has a face tattoo...

Reminder - I am not the original poster.