Originally posted by u/tsuper-dog in r/AmItheAsshole on March 4, '23, Updated as an edit.

Trigger Warning: Sexual harassment

Original post

AITA for defending my co-worker after our boss gave her nba tickets?

I work at a restaurant as a line cook. There’s a waitress named Alyssa.

Alyssa is a very attractive woman, and our boss hits on her a lot, and it’s really weird for 2 reasons. First of all, I’m pretty sure she has autism, so his remarks go right over her head. Like once he said “you look great when you wipe the tables down” and stared at her ass, and she said “thanks” once she said “registers are closed is there anything else you need me to do?” And he said “oh I can think of a few things” and she said “oh, it’s not my turn to mop it’s Jessie’s” (another waitress)

The other reason it’s weird is because Alyssa is married and 24 years old. Our boss is 46. Her husband is a cool guy too. She doesn’t work much anymore but every week or so when she does him and their baby will come in and get dinner. He also picks her up because she doesn’t drive I don’t think, so sometimes while he’s waiting for her getting a beer or something I’ll talk to him. He’s pretty chill, she seems like she’s well taken care of.

So the lakers were in town lately and often Alyssa will wear a lakers shirt. When there’s a big basketball game she’ll wear a lakers jersey. She’s mentioned her and her husband are big lakers fans. Our boss has season tickets to our local team and gave her 2 tickets to the game.

I’m pretty sure he expected to go with her, but she (obviously) brought the tickets home and went with her husband. I’m pretty sure it was

My boss was complaining about it calling that really rude and inconsiderate, I said “I don’t know she’s a married woman, why would she go to a basketball game with another man?” And he said “I thought it was pretty fucking obvious it was something for me and her not her husband” and I said “so you thought a happily married woman, who is a loyal wife, would go on a date with someone over 20 years older than her?” And I thought he’d laugh with me but he actually got really mad and sent me home.

I’m planning on putting my 2 weeks in. I also plan on telling her husband about the boss’ remarks about her. I’ve only spoken to him twice but he seems like a smart guy and will know what to do.

Maybe this wasn’t my buissness, though, and I should’ve just not said anything? AITA?

In the comments:

I’m 99 % certain the hubby comes to work to make wifey feel safe, not to hang around with her while she works. Clearly they all know her boss is a creep.

OP: I think he suspects something, and she doesn’t.

She’s one of those people who only works as a hobby, she only has one shift a week nowadays. they seem financially well off, she has a huge wedding ring and husband drives a pretty sick car. I know she enjoys waiting tables and she gets really excited when her husband shows up.

Husband usually comes in an hour before she gets off, with the baby, gets some dinner and watches the game or something.

I don’t think she’s playing it.

When I speak to her it’s obvious she’s a very nice woman but she’s not “all there,” and it’s never changed. She’s worked here since she was 16 back when her husband was her boyfriend.

Sometimes when I explain things, like where a certain dish goes for a table, she just doesn’t understand, and she’s one of those people where you feel bad about it because she’s so nice.

That’s the thing, she doesn’t need this job (at least I don’t think) She only works one night a week, and has a huge wedding ring, LV bag, and husband definitely seems to have figured out the best way to communicate to her

I’ve tried to talk to her sometimes about which tables need what and sometimes she gets overwhelmed and says “I’m sorry I’m really sorry I just don’t remember” I’ve asked her about simple table requests and she just doesn’t understand what I’m saying. Like “that NY strip to table 23, how did they want that cooked?” And she just said “I’m sorry, I don’t understand” and I’ll send the busser to do that stuff.

Not to mention, she doesn’t have a drivers licence. Idk why, but I’ve talked to the husband twice while he was at the bar watching the game waiting to pick her up and he just casually mentioned in conversation “Yeah, Alyssa doesn’t have her licence yet, so the driving is all on me, which I don’t mind”

post edits:

Edit: I would like to mention, I’m 100% positive she has no clue about the boss’ remarks. There are times I’ve tried to ask her about table needs and she just doesn’t understand. Her husband is also well off and this is not a job she needs at all. She has a huge wedding ring and her husband drives a bmw m4, plus she’s only here one half shift a week.

I have been asking around for the husbands number to try and talk to him about it, but yeah I’ve gotten confirmation from an assistant manager she does in fact have autism. She is a very attractive woman though, I think it’s possible the boss knows she isn’t getting it and just gets a kick out of saying it anyway, and to me that’s even more scummy.

Update - I got the husbands info and was able to call him and let him know the situation. Turns out he had no clue about this, and she also had no clue (which I suspected) and thanked him for letting him know. I don’t think his wife will ever be returning for work.

I also have an interview at a new restaurant as a line cook on Thursday. F this place.

Flairing this concluded as OOP thinks his coworker is quitting and he is also planning to quit asap

Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost.