guy kneels down and holds out his sword to swear loyalty to me but i just take the sword and run
“you have my sword” yeah i do lol. my sword now.
(via dxckgrxsonx)
the horrors may be beyond my comprehension but they are not beyond my insatiable lust. come here and kiss me you terrifying abomination.
(via dxckgrxsonx)
Bruce: *messing around at a gala as a child, pushes into an old scary lady*
Lady: *scowling* I hope you get a child exactly like you.
*years later*
Dick: *stubborn with anger issues*
Bruce: oh no
Jason: I hate you! You’re not my dad
Bruce: *remembering all the times he yelled that at alfred* oh nooo
Tim: *stays up for days obsessing over cases, drinks coffee like it’s disappearing tomorrow*
Bruce: *quietly moved away his files and mugs* oh nooooo
Cass: *charges into a death match to become the best fighter she can*
Bruce: *remembering every training he did before Batman* ….pleaseeee
Damian: I hate school! I don’t need it *gets expelled from every school he goes to*
Bruce: *remembers EXACTLY how many times he got expelled and for why* ….fuck
Bruce: *stared at Duke and Steph*
Jason: Dick is making us write a card for Bruce’s birthday and it is not going well.
Damian: How about “Best of luck for the next forty years”?
Tim: He’s forty, Damian
Damian: Yes, the average life expectancy is eighty
Tim: No you can’t write that
Tim: “Thank you for being a good father”?
Jason: Hmm we shouldn’t lie
Tim: True
Damian: “Your parenting has been within acceptable parameters”
Jason: Has it though?
Damian: “Many happy returns for many years that I’m sure you will have”
Jason: That still sounds oddly threatening
Damian: “I hope you have a happy day and… many subsequent years”
Dick: Stop making it sound like he’s dying!
gamer boy colour
*through the Robins group chat*
Jason: what tHE FUCK DID I JUST SAW
Tim: Jason it’s 4am
Tim: it better be important
Jason: stfu timmy I’m going through something
Jason: is the mansion haunted???
Tim: what
Jason: I was half asleep and then?? A big shadow was towering over me??
Jason: and don’t tell me it was a dream bc I heard the door closing
Damian: It was father
Tim: oh yeah, he does that sometimes
Jason: excuse me what
Jason: why is the old bat watching me sleep???
Tim: he wasn’t, it’s winter
Jason: and??
Tim: he probably wasn’t able to sleep, so he was making sure we’re all warm so we don’t catch a cold
Damian: He just left my room
Jason: damn, the older he gets the crazier…
Dick, reading all the messages in the morning: what the heck
Dick: so the winter fairy isn’t real :c??
He got attached.
A video is leaked of Batman deep into a lecture rant. Of course it has to be him repremanding any of the kids and teens he works with right?
Wrong. In the last second the camera pans to show Superman and some other Leaguers.
The Batkids uploaded the video.
jason, suffering from blood loss and getting stitched up by alfred in the cave’s medbay: worth it 🙏
robin!dick the original little gremlin
