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Today I Fucked Up

r/tifu

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Posted by17 hours ago

One of my closest friends is of the opposite sex (shocker to some as you will see), and whilst we did have something brewing a couple of years ago, it resulted in nothing happening other than a meaningful and truly platonic relationship.

Last year, for her birthday, I realised at the very last minute that I was lacking in a present for her so I pulled out a blank cassette tape I had lying around and made her a mixtape with songs I knew she liked, furthermore I knew she was into that late 80s - early 90s aesthetic offered by the cassette tape. After having prepared the cassette, I felt a bit empty handed bringing an object the size of a pack of playing cards by itself. My dad fortunately had some sort of well packaged Biscuits he had received from one of his colleagues.

After I had given my gifts and went home, my friend texted me thanking me from the bottom of her heart for the gifts. Little did I know, the treats I had given her were traditional to her city in Germany where she was from. Furthermore, unbeknownst to my ignorant Gen z self, cassette tapes are a sign of declaring love. Oh shit. It was at that moment when my friend revealed to me that her entire family thought I was in love with her, and furthermore, rooting for me.

The other day, I went to a party that was in her area and whilst it was happening I texted her to ask if she wanted to meet up. She subsequently turned down the idea of me coming over saying she couldn’t and then offered the idea of meeting up at a McDonalds in the area. After I had agreed to the plan, she texted me again saying her parents didn’t let her go to McDonalds either as they were worried for her as a teenage girl late at night. For clarification, she lives in one of the safest neighbourhoods in our city.

Today she told me that it was actually her parent’s idea for me to come over and said that they said they would gladly let me come and hang out with her “alone in her room”. After feeling very uncomfortable by her parents practically almost inviting me to sleep with their daughter, she tried to meet up at a Mcdonalds with me. It was then that they blocked her from leaving the house.

Her theory is that they wanted her to “shag in a more dignified place than a Mcdonald's toilet”, however I’m still processing how my friend’s parents, whom I’ve known since I was 4 would give me this amount of support and I'm questioning my existence.

TL;DR: Accidentally gave a “romantic” gift to one of my best friends and now her parents are trying to get me to give them grandchildren.

Edit: I showed her this post since some of your responses were just too good. Some people even DMed me asking to introduce them to her.

She’s both very grateful for the compliments but also slightly uncomfortable by the surprising amount of love she’s received.

She also reminded me that her father had told her in the morning “oh no why did he not come last night, he was obviously trying to hit”

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Posted by20 hours ago
Snsfw
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Posted by14 hours ago
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Posted by2 hours ago

I work as a team lead in a warehouse. A couple of guys called out so I had to substitute for one of them loading trucks. This guy I work with who is a great worker, smokes weed and dab pens. We all know but we just let him because he’s great at what he does. So I’m working next to him and he keeps asking me if I want to take a hit. After the 3rd time, I figured what the hell… so he offers me his dab pen. I haven’t smoked in 5 years, but I used to be a major pothead so I thought it would be like riding a bike. I took a 2-3 second hit, held it in, then let it out and coughed for a couple minutes.

10 minutes after the hit, I start feeling really calm and enjoying myself, then everything turned to complete shit. I had to read paperwork and I couldn’t keep anything in my head so it took me really long to load this truck. I was building pallets of product and my legs were on autopilot. Extreme paranoia was kicking in so I was panicking hard. I would get tracers every time I turned my head. The rollers above me sounded like laser beams instead of the usual tin roller sound, and to make matters worse, I had 3 hours left in my shift. Long story short, I managaed to stick it out. I’m glad my boss didn’t come up to me the rest of that night because I couldn’t form a coherent thought. I would have been better off taking shrooms at work. Never again.

TL;DR: I took a dab hit from a co-worker thinking it wouldn’t affect me much and had full on auditory hallucinations, paranoia, little motor function, and could barely finish my job. But I finished my shift without getting fired or drug tested. Never again.

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Posted by18 hours ago
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r/TIFU means Today I Fucked Up
Created Mar 4, 2012

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