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Posted by25 days ago

Artist: Rina Sawayama

Album: Hold The Girl

Release Date: 16 September 2022

Label: Dirty Hit

Listen: Spotify | Apple Music | Tidal

[Fresh] Thead

Who is Rina Sawayama?

Rina Sawayama. Underrated Superstar. Popheads favourite 'underground' artist. Abuser of the word slay. Insane live performer. All words used to describe this eclectic artist that has gone from strength to strength in recent times. Coming off the critically acclaimed SAWAYAMA, Hold the Girl was released to much anticipation.

First coming onto the music scene in 2013 to a muted response, Rina started to make waves in the critics scene and the ‘underground’ pop fanbase with her y2k influence EP RINA. Pulling from the modern culture mixed with many aesthetics she grew up with, this EP was critically acclaimed and helped cultivate a fanbase looking for the new pop darling. At the helm for this album was the producer Clarence Clarity who has since become a frequent collaborator with the majority of Rina’s music being produced by him since then. This was followed by her debut album SAWAYAMA in 2020 which fully fleshed out these ideas to an album that cemented her place and one of the brightest rising stars in the music industry receiving praise from critics, fellow artists and the pop fanbase.

As was the case with RINA and SAWAYAMA, Rina takes inspiration for this genre blending album from her childhood and teenage experiences to create trauma bops that focus on intergenerational trauma that comes from being a child of immigrant parents. Hold the Girl looks a little further past the teenage years discussed in SAWAYAMA towards the later teens and adult life, looking into the troubles that come from trying to come into your own within a system that isn't designed for you in any way. The thematic cohesion is a lot stronger on Hold the Girl compared to her previous work which creates a deeply personal work of art that talks to a lot of people. There is a large focus on the troubles that come from coming from an immigrant family that is looking out for you in their own way but their methods come as a detriment to your personal growth. How the experiences of live in the western world for first generation immigrants is vastly different to that of second/third generations in a way that is difficult to comprehend. This is a common sentiment shared across immigrants and children of said immigrants, whether the diaspora comes from the West Indies, Indian subcontinent, East Asia, South East Asian, Africa, Middle East etc. The difference in outlook only grows wider when it comes to LGBT rights and the general attitude that is shown to the LGBT community, especially within religious families.

Rina takes a closer look at this particular difference and the trauma it creates within an individual across many different songs, whether it's the defiance of expectations with This Hell, or the trauma of trying to come to terms with something that you feel will never be accepted in Holy (Until You Let Me Go). The best way to understand what makes this such a good album is to understand the trauma that it's breaking down and healing from. This is one of the main reasons it's one of my favourite albums of the year and the best way to understand why it's such a cathartic experience.


All my life, I've been saving face

Well, all these minor feelings

Are majorly breaking me down (Breaking me down)

Starting out with this opening track named after the book written by Cathy Park Hong about the marginalisation and discrimination faced by Asian Americans and the mental effects this has across generations (Highly recommend reading this). In this sombre opener, Rina discusses how she hides how feels within society as a Japanese woman living in England. The feelings felt throughout her childhood locked away as to ‘save face’ aka not make a fuss of this small issues and to just get on with it as it will be better that way. The song slowly builds with a simple piano that grows into a grander sound before the final line “All these minor feelings are majorly getting to me now” signposting the intent of the album. It's a brilliant opener that sets the tone and theme of the album immediately by explaining the main source of why her insecurities and trauma exists.

Teach me the words I used to know

Yeah, I forgot them long ago

Starting out with a strong genre blending song about wanting self acceptance, this DnB infused track sees Rina look inwards to her past self to help her embrace her current self. The song itself is a ballad backed by 2 step beat that builds with multiple instruments being introduced as the ballad continues including strings and a piano leading to an amazing key change where Rina belts out the chorus backed by a choir to create a truly anthemic experience.

“Sometimes I get down with guilt For the promises I've broken to my younger self” she sings as Rina towards her past self to find comfort and reconcile with the way she dealt with trauma growing up. This is a common theme that remains throughout the album with Hold The Girl focusing on how Rina feels she let herself down by compartmentalising and refusing to come to terms with how she felt, instead running away from her issues while growing up. It is a step towards acceptance but also refusing to continue blaming herself as she shows the willingness to grow and move on as can be seen in the next track.

Got my invitation to eternal damnation

Get in line, pass the wine, bitch

We're going straight to Hell

The ‘banger’ of the album. This country pop smash hit sees Rina take on the anti LGBT crew with this anthem. Taking inspiration from artists like Shaina Twin, Rina defiantly goes against the anti gay religious rhetoric that is still unfortunately present in the world in an amazing danceable tune. From the slow start to the explosive choruses, This Hell is full of energy and as the first single of the album, set the theme of Hold The Girl out clearly. The energy comes to a peak with a guitar solo just before the final chorus that elevates the song to the next level.

This was accompanied by the music video in which Rina line dances in several location including a church where her polycule is adorned by a priest and in a bar where everyone is enjoying themselves. Released in Pride month, This Hell stands the ground against the growing anti LGBT+ rhetoric alongside personal growth of being proud of your sexuality and not allowing hate to push you back down.

The risk you take, the pain you create

But mama, look at us now, high above the clouds

Yeah, I hope that you're, hope that you're proud

The first of the tracks on Hold The Girl to discuss the common experience that comes from being a second generation immigrant: The relationship and struggles that come between a 1st Gen parent and a 2nd Gen child. In this soaring track Rina has a more positive outlook on the relationship between herself and her mother. The song starts with her mothers perspective of a newborn Rina full of hope and care with what her daughter will turn our to me Carried all our dreams and she’s ready now. The second verse flips this and takes Rina’s perspective growing up as a teen and trying to find herself. Watching you decorating all the walls, made a prison of out homes shows the common sentiment of being drowned by your parents who are unwilling to let you just go off and do your own thing as they believe it is too dangerous for you.

The song concludes with a beautiful bridge which connects Catch Me In The Air beautifully with the theme of healing with a show of growth by both Rina and her mother into the relationship becoming one of support and love for one another. It’s a wonderful anthemic track that, while a more typical pop song, has the classic heart on sleeve style of Rina that makes her work shine.

Sometimes I blame you, sometimes I don't

Sometimes it flips so fast, I don't know

In this rock ballad Rina looks towards the most basic emotion needed to grow and move on from past experiences. This rock infused track sees Rina crooning over the need to move on and how this needs to be done. Backed by a thumping drum that slowly picks up pace as the song progresses, this ballad does not talk about a specific experience like the other songs on Hold The Girl but rather the concept of forgiveness no matter how difficult it may be. The song picks up pace during the choruses with the added instruments and the drum hitting double speed. The guitars pick up for the bridge before the final chorus that pulls everything together giving this song that classic Rina experience. It's a track that exemplifies a universal experience of realising pushing your negative feelings back in isn't going to help you heal, no matter how much better that action may feel in the short term.

Found my peace when I lost my religion

All these years I wished I was different

Onto another common trauma that isn’t limited to immigrants in religion and its effect on LGBT+ youth. In this synth infused track Rina discusses coming to terms with herself during her teenage years while growing up in a religious environment. Where people judged her simply for being herself and learning to hate herself because of it. You saw a light starting to shine, Wanted it only for your eyes she screams in the pre chorus setting the theme for the whole song. The idea that salvation exists but only if one follows the “older and wiser” with “god on their side”. The perpetual cycle of hating oneself because the elder of your community have decreed that the person you truly are is evil and unhealthy. Throughout the verses on this track Rina’s self hatred grows and grows Came to shelter from the blame But I left taking all the shame while the chorus takes the view of Rina’s growth and move away from religion towards a more healthy and self accepting life.

The song itself is a thumping eurodance track which further pushes this idea while also keeping the classic Rina genre-shifting style that’s always been present within her work. Being a song that would generally be heard at clubs indicates the move away from the bells that are present at the start of the track towards electronic blood pumping music.

Yeah, I survived the social suicide, not a failure, not a martyr

A common sentiment held when dealing with abuse is the abuser stating that you’d thank them when you’re older. That everything they are doing and saying to you is for your own good. This is especially true when growing up in an environment where branching away from expectations, such as a religious immigrant community (one that Rina has referenced multiple times in her work). When you reach a certain age you look back and think “those people really are fucked up”, telling children and teenagers that they’ll burn in hell for having gay thoughts, the “elders” of the community going around snitching on teens for just being teens, being unable to live a normal life or those that take advantage of kids by faking a safe space to abuse them further..

This track can further be interpreted in a more general fashion as being about those that prey on these children that are being abused. Those that are looking for a chosen family only to end up in a more precarious position. Groomers often aim for these "high risk" teenagers that are more easily persuadable through manipulation; with a those who are estranged from their families or any guidance figure being more vulnerable. When one reaches the age of the groomer the only emotions felt are disgust and anger at how the manipulator acted.

This nu metal track is Rina essentially screaming about that for 3 minutes. From the initial banjo riff to the heavier drums kicking in to create a suffocating experience before a short breather. This is followed by many vocal distortions alongside a banging drum beat to finish out the song on a loud high.

I don't wanna get too close, shit gets complicated (Ah)

I don't wanna take it off, emotionally naked (Ah)

Gaslighting: the word of 2022 as decided by Merriam Webster. While it is often overused and misused it’s a real thing and one used by abusers daily. In this DnB track Rina shows the perspective of the victim unsure if the truth she’s being told is real. The paranoia is prevalent in the song and builds in both the lyrics and the beat. Starting out with a verse with a fairly simple drum beat that builds through the song with distortion being added to the vocals and the drums as the chorus repeats before calming for the second verse where she talks about being unable to concentrate and focus all leading to the the outro where the vocal distortion is removed for further brass and with a small breakdown to end the song. It’s a song built on sensory overload in both the repeated choruses and the banging instrumental that has a classic UK garage feel but with added guitars, synths and brass that isn’t normally there to create a suffocating beat that never quite goes too over the top but rides the line very finely.

You're the one who can save me from myself

Destruction, 999, I need your help

All I want is to feel beautiful

If there was any song on this album that could be placed directly on SAWAYAMA it would be Frankenstein. This is the biggest cry for help on the album with Rina desperate for someone to help and save her. While the other tracks on Hold the Girl are Rina coming to terms with her emotions and past trauma, Frankenstein is the prelude to all of this. The cry for someone to help her understand this trauma that she’s stuck with but unable to process, pushing it onto others and causing them problems instead. It’s another DnB based track where the fast paced drums build up tension beautifully to an amazing release within the choruses. It’s a frantic track with the chorus being such a cathartic release before the post chorus has this lingering feel of dread that creates a schadenfreude feeling to close out the song.

Therapy is something that is seen as taboo within the immigrant community. It’s a sign that the parents “failed” and the child is “too weak”. Because of this there are a lot of 2nd, hell even 1st gen immigrants loaded with trauma that ends up being taken out on friends and family. “Oh, my God, this is so unbreakable” is a sentiment held by many but very often not shared unless among the closest of close friends. This track perfectly encapsulates the breaking point that many feel within these communities with that desperate plea that someone please just fix everything. That there is so much wrong with them that they just want to let it all out and come out “normal”. Usually this involves trauma dumping on a trusted individual be it their spouse, family member or closest childhood friends. This track is to me the heart of the album and is a fan favourite for a reason.

Always wanted to be best at everything

Even when it brings out the worst in myself

Building from the previous track of Frankenstein, Hurricanes focuses on the self sabotage that comes from the pressures of trying to be the best. Being the best based on your own unrealistic expectations, the best based on your parents expectations, the best based on your communities expectations. All of which usually differ greatly from one another which creates a situation where you purposefully ruin your life to get away from it, as Rina so kindly put it, “I’m running and running Running into hurricanes” Hurricanes also touches on the futility of praying, something that is a running theme through Hold The Girl, where these prayers will forever remain unanswered which further pushes her to act in a manner that isn’t good for anyone.

The song itself is very reminiscent of the indie rock style that was extremely popular in the 00s. As is the case with a lot of her songs, Rina takes great inspiration from this era and this pop rock song is no different. Pulling from the style of The Killers with sad lyrics backed by an electrifying guitar and drums, this track is full of energy in a way that further heightens the message being sent in the song.

And I'm sorry for the things I've done

I misguided love to my only son

The majority of this album is written from the perspective of a queer immigrant child that is trying to understand their own thoughts and come to love themselves. It’s one written from experience, an experience that isn’t uncommon amongst 2nd/3rd generation immigrants, as Rina comes to terms with her adolescence to grow as an individual. Send My Love to John flips this perspective to look at the relationship from the side of the immigrant parent. “Put yourself in your parents shoes” is a commonly heard phrase given to “problem” children and this track does that. The caveat being it’s from a parent that is also trying to grow as an individual. One that feels regret for their actions while raising their child.

It’s a country song where Rina’s songwriting shines. The shift away from Rina’s own life gives this song a different vibe from the rest of Hold The Girl while also keeping to the theme of the album. Rina’s lyrics and vocal delivery really send home the point with a real tinge of sadness being present throughout the song. It’s an extremely emotionally driven song which is both an amazing song and elevates the rest of the album by being the foil to Rina. Throughout the album Rina sings about feeling left behind, betrayed and abused by the parental figures in her life. Send My Love to John humanises the parents beyond “they’re evil” and shows how intergenerational trauma, one of the biggest issues within the immigrant community, can manifest itself into hurting everyone involved even though said people are doing what they believe is the best course of action for the involved.

Inner child, come back to me

I wanna tell you that I'm sorry, I'm sorry

A common sentiment held by a lot of people is “If I could go back in time, I would give my younger self so much good advice”. Hold The Girl is an album consisting of a long self-reflection by Rina, one done to grow as an individual and understand how her adolescence and personal growth during her formative years helped mould her into who she is for better or for worse. Phantoms is Rina’s letter to her younger self after understanding her current self. It’s a moment of realisation that her younger self is as much her as her current and to move on she must come to terms with that no matter how much it may hurt.

This guitar driven ballad peers into Rina’s past and how hard she tried to be accepted amongst her peers. Be it by giving away her belongings in the naive hope it will result in true friends or by trying to grow up too fast which led to its own form of trauma (one discussed more in her EP RINA). Phantoms goes through Rina’s regrets intertwined with anthemic choruses, a common musical choice on Hold The Girl. The apologetic bridge is followed by an electric guitar solo very reminiscent of 80s arena rock before concluding with a wonderful outro where Rina reconciles with her younger self to bring the song and the album closer towards a beautiful conclusion of personal growth.

All of the beauty and love I could not see

I see it now, I see it now

Phantoms helped bring the album to an emotional conclusion with Rina coming to terms with her past, To Be Alive is the victory lap to celebrate this. This garage track is full of positive vibes from the first line “Flowers still look pretty when they're dying” which drives home the point that no matter how broken you might feel, people still see value in you. A sentiment that needs to be told to people who are trying to understand their trauma, which can feel like dying internally.

The track, like many others in Rina’s discography, is heavily inspired by 00’s UK music. Particularly, the garage scene where drum and bass is often used as a beat for MCs. These songs often featured confessional lyrics, especially when sung by a female MC. To Be Alive flips this by being a positive song where the song looks to the positives rather than the negatives, with many references to the other songs in Hold The Girl. “'Cause I used to make my world so small, Prisoner to my bedroom walls” is pulled from Catch Me In The Air in which she held the belief that her mother was trying to keep her confined for no reason. There is personal growth shown in every line which creates an atmosphere where you can’t help but feel happy about. To Be Alive is a cathartic track that feels like a celebration we’re all invited to and a natural conclusion to Hold The Girl.

Closing Thoughts

This album is one that I really enjoyed due to how much Rina wore her heart on her sleeve to create such a personal album. However I do see how people who enjoyed SAWAYAMA for the pop bangers would be extremely disappointed in Hold The Girl, hence the divisive popheads response. Hold The Girl is, to me, one of the best albums of the year simply due to how raw and open the lyrics are without compromising from what makes the Clarence Clarity/Rina Sawayama duo so good. Genre blending tracks which create an album that is diverse in sound while not feeling tacked together at all.


Discussion Points
  • What was your favourite track on the album?

  • How did the album resonate with you?

  • What direction would you like Rina to go in the future?

  • Was there anything you noticed about the tracks that wasn't mentioned here?

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