All of our couples have been interviewed in the previous three (yes three) Tell All episodes except for Jovi and Yara. Our last episode opens in Nigeria with Michael in Usman’s hotel room. I’m not sure if I caught the scene correctly, but I recall Michael standing there with his typical, calm expression as Usman said Angela knows that Usman is smarter than her choice, Michael. He thinks that Michael is just a child that cannot control himself around women and is a known cheater. It’s kind of funny when Michael just shuts that topic down quickly, he redirects the televised conversation towards Usman needing to respect his woman. (So obvious Michael.)

It appears that Part 3 was filmed earlier in the day and all are returning to the set to film Part 4 in the evening. (Ugh, the stamina required for that.) Oh lord, Kimberly asks Yara if she knows how to do the Soul Train Line as they are walking onto the stage, you can just tell Kimberly is all excited about being on the screen. (Better than aggression or fear.) The group of them forming a Soul Train Line in that moment was shut down quickly by our young European that has never watched Soul Train. (That actually would have been classic television.)

That fantastic host (said no one) Shaun starts off asking Yara about her new breast augmentation. Without hesitation Yara tells everyone that she no longer has her old trash-bags and pepperonis. Oh my word, Angela shares with everyone that after surgery you actually can have sex in less than the doctor’s recommended three week waiting period – as long as your partner “don’t bite the nipple.” Angela casually admits that of course she has been flirting all along with her Plastic Surgeon, she simply does it for the attention. I admit I was surprised to hear the modestly dressed Shaeeda let us know she has wanted her breasts augmented since she was fourteen. I think she intends on making that happen. Bilal’s expression never changes as she shares the news. Weird.

Oh yay! Miss Gwen is here (via the TV screen)! I like her - due to her slow, deliciously drawn-out Louisiana drawl – it is sheer perfection. So much better than actors trying to nail anything remotely Cajun. (No clue if she is actually Cajun, a dear old friend was and his speech was littered with lots of “Aw cher . . .” Oooh, that just reminded me of when he made venison gumbo in my kitchen.) Miss Gwen (I just like saying “Miss Gwen” in my head with a fake accent . . . “Miss Gwen. . . .”) could just sit across from me and say “Jovi, Jovi, Jovi” repeatedly. It’s all about the way she pronounces “Jovi.” It’s everything. We learn that Jovi did not cancel an African Safari he had planned first – as Yara’s surgery conflicted with that because she was home recovering when he was in Africa. Jovi lets us know that he is so completely miserable with his home life, he deserved that damn trip and needs friend time. Yara seemed fine with giving it to him but the timing was bad. Or she just needed more things to complain about on the Tell All. Yara was complaining about Mylah (which I understand she could not lift) but Miss Gwen made it quite clear that she was helping out with their toddler during that time she was needed and Jovi was gone. She is not a “Bad Grandma.” Everyone was stunned when we all learn together it is a two hour drive for Miss Gwen to get to their home (one way), and at that time Yara did not know how to drive. (Grandmothers do a LOT of driving and we all know it’s rarely appreciated by our adult children. We are supposed to be SO excited to babysit. Sometimes I just act like I’m excited but would rather be relaxing at home.) Both Yara and Jovi have expressed that they wish Miss Gwen was more naturally driven with an inner yearning and strong desire to spend lots and lots of time babysitting her granddaughter. All Grandmothers are different. I was clapping on the inside when Miss Gwen told them powerfully and strongly: “I’m nobody’s nanny!” She expressed to the audience that her son Jovi always needed a babysitter ever since Mylah was born. We learn that Jovi and his mother had their worst fight ever recently and you could sense that neither had totally resolved their residual feelings. When I learned that lots of alcohol was involved – I was just like – well – of course! Duh! It makes arguments so much worse – we know that – move on. Miss Gwen lets us know that she and her husband were so excited to let them know they were buying property close to them in Louisiana! It allows them to help out more and spend time together. No sooner had they purchased this property than Jovi and Yara tell them they are moving to Florida, somewhere at the beach. Because Yara is so completely miserable with her home life, she deserves to move to Florida. (Sound familiar? See above.) That happily married Jovi shares what everyone already knows – that if it wasn’t for the baby they would be divorced. It becomes annoying as both Andrei and Big Ed throw in their two cents (you could tell they could care less). Oddly and out of the blue – sweet Jenny starts shouting at Big Ed like she was on the Jerry Springer show. I think she was very tired and kind of had a “snap” moment, but it was strange. (Right here while I was watching, I got so excited as I thought the show was over! That was the moment I discovered it is a TWO HOUR Tell All. That’s not great for a detail-oriented Virgo.)

(Oooh – just saw one of my favorite commercials! It makes me happy. The Progressive commercial that has the Coach for people that are “becoming their parents.”)

Everyone changes into casual clothing and return to what appears to be their hotel bar. Oh my word – what is that red jumpsuit Angela is wearing? It has the vibe of a dancer for Elvis from the sixties, packed tightly with the voluptuous flesh of our Angela. The adorable Valentino is the group’s personal bartender that evening. You can just feel their exhaustion (and sore shoulders) through our screens. Now they have to engage in guided conversations as they consume lots of alcohol. Bless them - sincerely. I find myself in the moment embarrassed to be watching this show (usually I just ignore that feeling) as all of them re-hash what we got sick of hearing at the reunion. I was flabbergasted when Big Ed told the extremely annoying Jovi “We had this conversation in the car. It’s over. I’m walking away.” Fabulous behavior Big Ed. I am not really surprised to see Angela leaning over the bar telling the poor little stunned Valentino in her classic, drunken, Angela-slurry style: she just wants wild sex with someone new while she is there in NYC.

The women gather in groups to share. We hear delusional (but sweet) Kimberly say that she is an “old-school, wise woman.” Delusional. I don’t follow Big Ed and Liz (grateful for that still) and either I forgot Liz had a child or it was news to me. Wow – they are an example to an impressionable child. Wow. Then Liz says she wants to be a Role Model. Want it harder Liz. Oh my gosh, Kimberly wants Liz to throw her glass of red wine on Big Ed’s white shirt. Oh right, that is the advice of this season’s “old-school, wise woman.”

The ladies are having a discussion, and by this time Angela is looking worse for the wear, as her very large right breast is just sitting there – just hanging out – exposed in all of it’s newly uplifted glory for her fans. Oh my gosh – something is on it? (I am fascinated and can’t stop staring.) My screen is a tad blurry and I can’t tell if I am looking at television wires they hide inside their clothing, a tattoo, or lingerie. I vote for the tattoo although it is fuzzy, and her nipple looks professionally blurred.

Our season ends as we see Big Ed at his hotel about to head to Boston. He will give Liz’s $13,000 ring to his daughter. Liz thinks it’s over for sure. (Yes please.) Bilal and Shaeeda will start the baby making here in NYC. Shaeeda is so happy because today – this ONE and ONLY day – Bilal is just perfect. She hopes it continues. (Yeah, right.) Elizabeth looks and feels like most of us when we were large with child. Andrei seems fine, just running around stirring up drama because he is aware he is a character on reality television. (Which is great, whatever! It’s better than a lot of 9 to 5 stuff we’ve all done for a paycheck.) Kimberly thinks about Usman using her as she lays in bed at night. She wonders if they are really over. Once he marries, she will erase him from her existence. Angela seems very confused still, as she has been all season with Michael. She does not know what she will do, as it is about to be the moment Michael gets to come to America. She is just grateful to be healthy and sexy and knows for a fact it will be enjoyed by someone very soon! (We also know.) We hear Yara fussing about Jovi not being romantic. My gosh, these poor people are physically exhausted and cannot hold a straight face as the cameras continue to film them in their hotel rooms as they must be dying to collapse into bed – you can just tell producers are forcing them to re-hash the same old stuff. We see Jovi and Yara leaving the hotel. Jovi is in his full-on pout mode. I don’t care for pouters. The End!

We are actively recruiting re-cappers here at our new Reddit site. It’s truly a great opportunity for a new recapper, lots of Tamara’s viewers are here. (We can never be Tamara.) Feel free to contact me, I encourage people to stake their claim on any show they like. It does not need to be reality television. Lots of freedom – no boss! Just a fun hobby!

Peace and hugs!