i have a story. so for the past week i've not been sleeping very well because i got a new job that has me on call to do odd tasks for wealthy people. i won't get into it, but i will say that it kept me up until 4am a couple nights in a row, and once i'm up until 4am i have no chance of going back to sleep. this is relevant only because that job ended yesterday, and in celebration i decided i was going to get a full night's sleep. like a FULL night's sleep. so 7pm rolls around, i got my dinner made, it's an acorn squash stuffed with sage and mushrooms, i eat the WHOLE THING. don't even put away the dishes. leave those dishes out. take a nice long shower, get all cleaned up, immaculate. and then i get in bed and i think--and this was my first mistake as you're going to see--some dumb shit always wakes me up, but not tonight. oh no, not tonight. i have a plan. i set my phone on do not disturb mode with the blissful certainty of someone about to make the worst mistake of their recent life, and then i get in bed. it's a full on snork mimimi situation. i crashed, and when i say crashed, i mean that even when my alarm on my phone (that i forgot to turn off) went of at 12:33am (hell, hellish alarm setting), it didn't wake me up. i was out. i was out cold.
i was out so cold that when something opened my back door at 5am, i didn't hear my security alarm going off.
why is issac crying oh shit 😭 i’m so excited for his storyline but i will probably cry
queerfemme
the moon is a lesbian and she hates terfs
uglynb
the moon told me personally that she thinks you’re obnoxious and hopes you never get a girlfriend
I have a theory that the moon IS a trans woman cause she’s always associated with feminine things but when we saw the craters that look like a face we called it “The Man In The Moon”. She’s a woman with a face that people may perceive as male. She’s a beautiful trans woman
the moon is a beautiful trans woman who hates terfs and shows her face every night to remind other trans women they are beautiful and strong and loved and important and wonderful and that terfs and their opinions dont matter
hiranyaksha
I wanna add to this if it’s ok?? In Hindu mythology, Chandra, the moon, was originally thought of as a male deity. However, as time went on, symbolism involving the moon and the name “Chandra” itself became identified with femininity, with beautiful girls being described as having “moon-like faces,” with their dark, long hair reminding lovers of the midnight sky, and names like “Nilaa” (”moon” in Tamil) and “Indu” (in Sanskrit) are now pretty much now completely girl names!
AlsO Chandra is married to 27 wives, who are all stars. The moon is a trans lesbian and is gay for all the stars in the sky.
Reblog if you’re gay for the trans lesbian poly moon who supports all woman.
asinine-sunshine
GO 👏 THE 👏 FUCK 👏 OFF. Also, the American educational system is trash. I applaud this child’s parents for giving her a voice and standing up against bias authority.
nerdyblackfangirl
(Can someone caption this?)
Classroom full of mostly black and brown students:
Black student: [unintelligible—and then] …and then throwing everything away beneath it because it doesn’t pertain to you. I’m sorry —
White teacher: —you know what, I’m sorry -I’m sorry…
Black student: —No, no, no…I let you talk -I let you talk, you’re gonna let me talk.
[Other students gasps]
White student: Go ahead. Finish.
Black student: I’m sorry that this is the way that it is. You’re right, it is fucked up. But white people control everything…and that’s not fair. And when anybody, any other minority tries to say anything about it or change it, we’re complaining or we’re ungrateful or all this other stuff because we still have this or that. But then you say something about ‘Oh, I don’t want—there’s too many Latinos and there’s too many—’
White teacher: I didn’t say that—
[Various students disagree]
White teacher: I said I want to control the border!
Black student: You said you don’t want this to turn into a Latin country because there’ll be too many
White teacher: I did not say that.
[Various students disagree]
Student 2: You said you want to preserve the American culture.
Black student: There is no American culture. American culture is EVERYTHING.
[Various students agree]
Random: Mayonnaise!
[Students laugh]
Black student: And because you are white and so closed-minded, you refuse to accept that, you refuse to accept—
White teacher: Don’t tell me I’m closed-minded—
Black student: Everything you’ve said to me is closed-minded.
White teacher: Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I’m closed-minded.
Black student: You don’t need to agree—I -I’ve had conversations with people that don’t agree with me, but if they at least listen and try to accept—you’re not accepting the truth.
White teacher: Why do I have to accept what you think is right?
Black student: You need to accept the truth! Not what I think is right, what is actually happening right—
White teacher: Well, let me tell you what I think. You said white people have been in control of everything….who is the president of the United States right now?!
Students: A black man!
*Various sounds of incredulity*
Black student: WITH A WHITE CONGRESS! WITH A WHITE SENATE! WITH WHITE EVERYTHING ELSE! HE DOESN’T HAVE THE CONTROL OF EVERYTHING!
Random: GO OFF
Other Random: GO OFF–
*The class is in an uproar*
Random student: YOU ARE SO PRIVILEGED THAT YOU JUST DON’T SEE IT!
White teacher: Do we have to yell?!
Black student: Yes, because I’m mad.
Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didn’t have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.
And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.
A website of tiny ceramic frogs.
Not for sale. Just… all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.
I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.
“This is your website?” I asked finally.
“Yep!”
“You coded this yourself?” I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.
“Yep!”
“So… where’d all the frogs come from?”
“I made those too,” he says, beaming.
And while I’m processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.
“And THIS one,” he says, “I made for you! As a thank you for the interview.”
It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case he’d wash out in 90 days and we’d hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team.
And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.
I deeply admire Harrison Ford's unfailing commitment to taking beloved characters out with him every time he leaves a franchise
yeah? yeah tumblr? do i seem interested in the twin towers fat fucking tits??? is that what i seem interested in?????
is your brother calvin of bill watersons classic american comic strip calvin and hobbes
is this your brother
Being the only guy who works in a beauty store is fucking hilarious sometimes. Im the only one who can sell our shitty beard shampoo and a not insignificant amount of our customers think im untrustworthy. According to my coworkers i use every mens product we have so they can get dudes to buy a shaving cream. Trying to explain to people that theres no difference between "men's" and "women's" products is like talking to a brick wall. Ive had multiple women get angry with me for sampling them out one of our "men's" moisturizers when they specifically said they wanted a mattifying one to control oil and that's the best one we have for those two things. I still think about the guy who came in asking if we had "masks for men." I contemplate ending it all every time someone returns a completely unused product that they absolutely refuse to try just because it either says or doesnt say "for men" on it. 90% of the time its the perfect product for them. I had a lady who was willing to buy a worse product for her needs that was more expensive just so it wouldnt say it was for men. Are you ever tired? Are you ever exhausted? These are the same kinds of people who say that im the one whos obsessed with gendering everything because im trans.
My coworkers call me the diversity hire. Theres like 3 men in this company in all of western canada so i think we should get t shirts and go out for drinks sometime. I found out recently that my boss was talking about hiring another guy so that "damien can have a friend."
What i dont tell them is that i now get territorial every time another guy comes in to drop off his resume. I dont show it but i can feel my hackles raising and my pre-domesticity instincts kicking in every time some guy threatens to usurp my position as "only guy here." I know thats a completely unwarranted reaction but its so fucking funny. My coworkers are out here wondering if i feel out of place and lonely without any guy friends at work to be bros with and when a man applies for a job i get the urge to bite him like a beast
Yesterday at work these two 12yo boys came through my line and i’m instantly like. oh Boy. Because solo children at a grocery store are always forces of chaos, good or bad
But thankfully these ones were totally pleasant, and when i asked if they wanted a receipt one of them pulled out a random fuckin receipt from his bag and asked “Do YOU???” and y’all, i lost my shit… What a power move. When will i ever be this funny
I've probably said this before but I love Knight characters, but HATE it if they take off their helmets.
Knights aren't humans, they're like silly robots or big bugs to me. All they know is to train and fight.
It's like watching videos of stag beetles flipping each other over. Knights is creatures
yeah this is one of those posts where you read it, scroll down, then go wait shit thats fucking hilarious and scroll back up to reblog
things heartstopper does brilliantly because i refuse to let some of you monsters ruin it for everyone
1. models healthy consent practices!! oh my goodness!! asking to kiss, double checking that consent is enthusiastic, being honest about moments that lacked consent (see: b*n h*pe and imogen asking out nick). later in the books we get even more amazing examples of consent being an ongoing conversation!!
2. the teenagers act their age!! they’re awkward, they’re confused, they’re unsure of themselves, they are PLAYED BY YOUNG ACTORS!!! it’s realistic and beautiful and doesn’t set unreasonable expectations for viewers like almost every other show about high schoolers
3. SUPPORTIVE PARENTS!!! all of the parents we have met so far have been loving, supportive, compassionate, and patient. it’s so nice to have multiple queer and trans characters who are embraced by their parents and their friend’s parents from the beginning. and tao’s mom is an icon.
4. safe people and places!! the characters have trusted adults like mr. ajayi and mrs. singh and safe places like the art room that they can go to when things are rough. it models healthy support network building and healthy coping skills!!!
5. all the ways you can come out and be out!! it tells a beautiful “coming out isn’t always easy and it’s never the end of the journey” story without making coming out seem like a disaster waiting to happen. yes, charlie was outed - and people still jumped to his aid even before nick came around. no one pressures nick to come out (a major story arc some of y’all clearly didnt pay attention to) and they tell him it’s fine if he doesn’t know what to label his sexuality if he even wants to label it at all.
6. LETTING. BOYS. CRY. oh my god it’s so refreshing to see a show where boys get to cry instead of punching walls. and not once does someone tell them crying makes them less masculine. no one tells anyone to stop crying. they’re allowed to be emotional and it’s wonderful.
7. affection. i adore the way this show portrays all the small ways you can say “i love you”: a homemade picture frame, buying your apple juice every day, waiting until you’re ready, taking you to the beach, bringing over cookies for movie night, bringing their dog to the date to cheer you up, running over in the rain, punching someone in the face for you.
feel free to add more!!! i just want to highlight the best parts of this show + graphic novel series because it really is a masterpiece. i hope kit (and the rest of the cast and crew) knows that he’s doing a good job - a great job - and that no one else’s shitty behavior can change that.
ppl make fun of creepypasta titles being too descriptive like “I went hiking with my class, it didnt end well” or “something’s living in my grandma’s basement” or “I’m never taking a job on craigslist again” but for someone with zero attention span, descriptive titles like that are a hell of a lot more eye catching and attention grabbing than some poetic one or two word title that doesnt even hint at what the story is about
creepypasta title: red curtains
me: what does that even mean, Im so bored *immediately scrolls past*
creepypasta title: every house on my block got a new antenna last night
me, immediately riveted, needs to know what happened or else I will die: oh my god who put them there what are they doing where did they come from wh
DOES THIS NOT STRIKE INSTANT CURIOSITY INTO YOUR HEART
This will never NOT be funny
I’m so glad this is on tumblr
My favourite thing about this is, he didn’t even have to call him ‘Captain’ he could have used the screen-name but he was SO MARRIED TO THE IMMERSION that he DID.
Passenger: CAPTAIIIIN!!!
Captain: y-yeah?
Passenger: LOOOOOOOK!
(FULL BLAST PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN MUSIC)
my fav.
Fun fact, the developers of this game loved this video so much that they made it an official advertisement of the game
