So, I'm back home for the holidays and my mom loves movies almost as much as I do but she doesn't know how to use the internet (very important info) and all her favorite channels on TV started to broadcast dubbed versions of movies, which we both hate. So naturally, every time I go home, we have a mandatory movie night where I show her one of my favorites. I told her we were gonna watch "No Country for Old Men".
Well, just as I go to download the movie (I don't have Netflix, I just torrent) but it decided it needed a new update and for some reason it was going really slow. Now, I gave her my own laptop back when I bought a new one so that she could learn how to use a PC but she never got around to it, so I decide to download it to hers. I totally forgot that there's no AdBlock installed and just go straight to PirateBay to get the movie. She's in the room ironing some of her clothes.
Now, unbeknownst to me, PirateBay is doing some... weird ads in my country, mostly the "Hot Singles in Your Area" and "Use this Gel to Grow Your Cock by Five Centimeters". You can probably see where this is going. I didn't even pay attention to the ads, just started looking for the torrent with the most seeders when I hear "Honey, you know that's not how it works, right?" (also, she's a doctor). I look up and just say "Huh?"
She replies with "I'm sorry if you're unhappy with what you have but it doesn't work like this." I, still oblivious, say "Trust me, it'll work, it has 150 seeders, it'll take less than five minutes." She then goes on to tell me that basically "surgery is my only option but it's not really worth it." I look back at her over my shoulder, see how uncomfortably she's standing behind the ironing board, shrug and look back at the screen. That's when I notice the ad saying "This Gel Adds At Least Four Centimeters to Your Dick" with a very graphic animation showing a micropenis growing into a foot-long monstercock.
I almost died of cringe. It took like ten minutes of explaining how random internet ads work on torrent sites and she only started to believe me when I asked her "Mom, you remember when I called you about that rash down there worried that it was chlamydia? You honestly don't think I'd ask you before putting some bootleg "medical" gel on my penis? You used to wipe my ass when I was little, what do I have to gain from lying to you about this?"
About an hour later she burst out laughing when Anton killed that dude in the movie. I had to pause it to ask her what was going on and she said it just had hit her how horrified I must have been. I don't think I'll ever be able to watch No Country for Old Men without the image of mid-twenties me in front of my Mom's computer with my her behind me thinking I'm looking at graphic penis-enlargement ads on the internet.
TLDR; My Mom saw a penis-enlargement ad while I was torrenting a movie and she thought that was what I was looking up.
