I worked a cash register in a crappy grocery store on Friday the 13th, the day the schools got word that they were going remote because of the virus. 

There were horrible people. I don’t need to go into details because we’ve all heard them or read about them or experienced them firsthand. 

But most people were just scared and anxious and trying to take care of their families in spite of bad local and state and national leadership and terrible messaging and limited personal resources. They were intense, but understandably so. 

My bosses weren’t great, not on any level, from CEO to shift managers, but that’s not news, most of us have been exploited and abused in our jobs before and during Covid. 

We weren’t allowed to wear masks because the store thought it would freak out the customers. Some people quit on the spot, but precious few because it’s not the kind of job you work if you have a ton of options. A woman came through my line and she was wearing a cloth mask with a pretty botanical print. I complimented the design and we bonded over love of fabrics and crafts. She asked about the store mask situation, I explained store policy, she shook her head, left with her groceries, and I kept working the endless line. She was back four hours later with a mask for me. She’d gone home, put away her perishables, sat down at her sewing machine, made a mask for a stranger, and then gone back out into crazy traffic and crowds, just to find me and give it to me. She gave it to me in front of the floor manager, and explained to the manager that she was worried about the employees, and my boss had to let me wear it (out of a weird mental loophole of  ‘customer is always right’ even though no other employees were allowed to wear one that day and for a few weeks afterward, which sounds insane, but it’s true). 

Another woman had come through with a ton of cheese, really cool fancy stuff. I’m in the cheese fandom so we had a good time chatting. She left with her groceries and I kept working the line. About an hour later, she was back in my line again with more fancy cheeses. I rang her up, bagged her food, handed it to her, and she handed the bag to me and said “This is yours, I’m grateful for all the essential workers but I don’t know how to tell you guys or keep you safe, so I’m just doing this.” She’d put her groceries in her car, gone back into a madhouse, picked out cheese for an anonymous cashier, and WAITED IN LINE FOR AN HOUR so she could give it to me personally. 

Toward the end of day, after credit card machines had gone down five times in as many hours (do you know what it’s like a for an entire grocery store to go cash-only for overlong periods of time on March 13 with a building full of scared customers? Do you know how funny or charming or lighthearted you have to be with that many intense people on the verge of freaking out? Sometimes being a cashier is like being a goddamm standup comedienne or therapist or surrogate mom I swear). Anyway, a guy came in toward the very end of my overtime and the card reader went down again and this customer didn’t freak out. He started SINGING. He stood there and sang to me until the computers came back online. I’ll never forget him or his sweet voice or that moment in time, ever. 

I know things are bleak right now. I know they’re going to get worse. But I see acts of bravery and kindness all day, every day. Every. Day. People are channeling their despair into personal outreach that doesn’t get witnessed by many people because it’s usually one-on-one type stuff. I do a ton of climate & political stuff, as well as all my odd jobs, so I see a lot of different demographics in a lot of different situations, all of them stressful, and yes, there are sociopathic assholes in all of those settings, but there are ALWAYS always people being good and brave and looking for ways to connect or care for or support other people in a myriad of ways.

I don’t believe in very many things at this age but I will go to my grave defending the goodness of humanity. We may be isolated, we may be headfucked and heartbroken, but we are still fighting the good fight. That’s as real as all the bad stuff. 

Less than 1% risk from Covid. Lockdowns don’t stop spread. They do crush economies, small businesses and individual mental health. Wtf are we talking about here?

We’re talking about you being a dumbass cuckolded bitch for people who would light your mother on fire to increase their next quarter’s profits by 0.05%. Some of us don’t want to die so your meemaw can keep her shitty diner where they pays her employees $5 per hour open, sorry.

i repeat: liberals r stupid n inhumane. we can always fix the economy but we can’t bring back the dead. u guys r just covering 4 ur system’s embarrassing n undeniable failure 2 protecting the most basic core human right: Right to Life

Lockdowns actually do stop spread. China, Vietnam, and New Zealand are proof of that.

Unfortunately the West never had lockdowns. They had half-assed shutdowns where the rich and privileged were allowed to stay home, but everyone else had to go on to work, or were made to go to work, or got fired.

Shutdowns work. Masks work. Quarantines work. But to work they have to apply to everyone, and having all their freedoms, power, and privilege curtailed in even the slightest way is something that the wealthy will absolutely never countenance.

And aren’t we seeing the proof? Here we are, at a million-plus deaths (in the US alone), and the wealthy are ripping up any and all inhibitions, prohibitions, and protections that would either impede the virus or the whims of the rich.

So keep that in mind as millions more die, that every single one of those deaths were absolutely preventable, but the ones with all the power to prevent them simply chose not to.

They don’t talk about it because it completely fucks their whole “well it’s about your personal choice and risk tolerance” messaging. Acknowledging Long Covid and its risks means acknowledging the dangers of covid, the complete fuckup that has been the American Government’s response, and raise serious, difficult questions about what is going to be done to protect the vulnerable and treat the afflicted, none of which are conversations that American oligarchs want people to have.

How do you view the risk of long Covid? Infection doesn’t come with absolutely no risk, even if you’re not at high risk of hospitalization or death. So how do you navigate that?

I absolutely believe that that long Covid is real. I’ve had patients who are suffering long-term consequences, six months, a year after. We need a lot more research into what long Covid actually is because there is no clear definition. Is it shortness of breath, fatigue after two months? Would you consider that long Covid? Or are we really talking about disabling headaches and being unable to focus on work a year after? I mean, what is the definition here?

“How can we possibly act if we don’t know how to means-test the response?”

I think there are so many unknowns about long Covid that it’s very difficult to calculate the risk for any given person. And so if somebody says, well, how do I think about my risk of long Covid, I would actually ask them the question in a totally different way, which is it going to be really difficult to avoid Covid at all? Are you willing to give up a lot in order to avoid Covid? You don’t exactly know what is going to happen once you have it, but you do know what will happen if you don’t let your kids go to camp or sleepovers or extracurriculars. You do know what happens when you are not traveling and not going to indoor events with others. I really believe that all of us, unless we take really extraordinary steps, are going to get Covid and therefore be at risk for long Covid. I accept that risk for myself. I accept that risk for my children the same way that I accept that when my 2-year-old climbs onto a play gym and her brother is there, he may very well push her off of the play gym. Now, I wish that that won’t happen. I will do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen, but that is a risk that I have to be able to tolerate. And I think of Covid in that same sense.