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Dirtbag, Massachusetts: A Confessional

Isaac Fitzgerald

3.97 · Rating details · 464 ratings · 78 reviews

A TIME Best Book of the Summer
A Publishers Weekly Top 10 Memoir of the Season
A BookPage Most Anticipated Book of 2022
A Chicago Tribune Summer Pick
A Goodreads Readers' Most Anticipated Books of Summer
A Buzzfeed Summer Book You Won't Be Able to Put Down
A BookRiot Best Summer Read of 2022

“Any fool can confess. It's the rare writer who reveals, and Dirtbag, Massachusetts ...more

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Hardcover, 256 pages

Published July 19th 2022 by Bloomsbury Publishing

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Dirtbag, Massachusetts: A Confessional

Isaac Fitzgerald

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Mar 22, 2022 Roxane rated it it was amazing

This book, this beautiful, sprawling, chaotic memoir in essays, is indeed a confessional. It is a man peeling back the layers of himself, revealing the white of his bones, the depth of his soul, the truth of his flaws, and the power of the best parts of him, of which there are so many. Isaac Fitzgerald will make you feel absolutely everything as he recounts a childhood no one should have to endure, and how he has tried to rebuild the parts of himself that other people broke. He is charming and v ...more

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Jul 13, 2022 Melki rated it really liked it

Shelves: memoir, essays, gift-from-publisher

There was nothing to do in these old mill towns but fuck, get fucked up, or fuck somebody else up. We spent our days doing drugs, driving around in trucks, drinking beer, and listening to music, Some of us had more money than others, but nobody had much of it. We were poor kids in a poor area of a rich state.

Fitzgerald examines his past in this series of essays that form a memoir. He's not had an easy life, but it's one worth reading about . . . if you've got the stomach for it. Though there are ...more

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Jul 18, 2022 Debbie rated it liked it

Shelves: edelweiss, netgalley, cover-lover

Yipe! Beware of hype!

Damn blurb-land! Oh, sure, the blurb is just overflowing with compliments; “best of” all over the place. (And the accolades are even in boldface, just to make sure you see them all bright, that you see how important they are.) Throw in a few gushy, trusty reviews, and this drooling, itchy book addict didn’t stand a chance of saying No to the Book!

I’m not saying this memoir is bad—not at all. I’m just saying it’s Mediocre-ville. I honestly don’t get the hype. This is basical Yipe! Beware of hype!

Damn blurb-land! Oh, sure, the blurb is just overflowing with compliments; “best of” all over the place. (And the accolades are even in boldface, just to make sure you see them all bright, that you see how important they are.) Throw in a few gushy, trusty reviews, and this drooling, itchy book addict didn’t stand a chance of saying No to the Book!

I’m not saying this memoir is bad—not at all. I’m just saying it’s Mediocre-ville. I honestly don’t get the hype. This is basically a plain memoir about a guy who drinks too much and whose greatest joy is a bar in California. Most of the first half of the book is about his bar worship (he even got to work there after many years as a customer, which was a huge delight to him). His ode to a bar got old, and I was sick of hanging around in that dive.

This is a memoir, so I’m not going to complain about what the writer does with his life. My complaints have to do with what he chose to emphasize (the bar) and whether he’s a good storyteller (he passes that test with flying colors). Besides the bar, the first half of the book is about incidents with his Catholic church; these were interesting but didn’t affect me. I think anyone who was raised Catholic would relate to and appreciate those chapters more than I did. I did find it interesting that he thought that the church beat politeness into him. I’ve heard friends say the same thing.

The second half of the book was way more interesting. He got out of the bar and into some fascinating experiences. Fitzgerald is a great writer, so the scenes he describes are vivid and affecting. Two of his adventures are especially bizarro, and I couldn’t take my eyes off the page when he was describing them. He spent time in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I had visited that city for a couple of weeks, so it was fun to hear about his life there.

Scattered throughout the book are self-reflections. I liked those, but there weren’t enough. Also, it was strange that I didn’t learn until late in the book that he didn’t like himself. Somehow that fact didn’t manage to come through at first. I guess I didn’t do a good job of reading between the lines. I had felt he was bragging about his screw-ups, when it turns out he was complaining about them and was no doubt embarrassed.

Also, he chose to tell about his sad, messed-up childhood at the end of the book instead of at the beginning, which I found an odd decision. I think I would have felt more sympathetic if I had known from the start what made him who he is today, but that’s just my preference.

At the very end, he gets a little lecture-y, talking about politics. Although I share his political views, I don’t think they belong in a memoir.

Oh, and I forgot to mention: I loved the Cross Your Fingers book cover (and the same Cross Your Fingers drawing appears at the start of each chapter, which was cool), and the title is really strange and enticing.

Overall—balancing the boring with the interesting—an okay read. I just wish the book hadn’t been hyped so much, so my expectations wouldn’t have been so high.

Thanks to NetGalley and Edelweiss for the advance copy. ...more

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May 20, 2022 Laura rated it really liked it

I had never heard of this author before reading this book, but the title intrigued me, having myself grown up in a part of Massachusetts that was past its heyday. This memoir is told in a series of essays discussing a variety of topics. Usually in an essay collection, I find myself enjoying a handful of the essays with the rest being forgettable.

However, in this collection, I enjoyed almost every chapter. The author examines subjects such as family, religion, violence, volunteerism abroad, sexu ...more

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May 28, 2022 Summer rated it it was amazing

I have this annoying thing I do when I read something that I love. I put it down before finishing it as sort of a pause to hold it over so that I can have more time with it because I don’t want it to end. I did that here as well except this time 3/4 of the way through I started over from the beginning and read it though once again before finally reaching the conclusion.
This memoir is everything a memoir should be — incredibly honest and absolutely insightful.
What I love most about Dirtbag, Mass ...more

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Jul 22, 2022 Hardcover Hearts rated it liked it

In a series of essay-like vignettes, Isaac Fitzgerald narrows in on episodes of his life, exploring themes of poverty, shame, isolation, rejection, searching, family and found family, violence, faith, physicality, sexuality, connection, identity, and other weighty topics that have impacted him in his life. Raised by parents who had him out of an affair they had from both of their marriages, he charts the wreckage that followed his birth. It's not a sentimental story and there aren't any easy ans ...more

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Jul 07, 2022 Sacha rated it it was amazing

5 stars

Here, Fitzgerald creates a memoir through essays. While Fitzgerald's identities do not reflect those of authors (or characters) I typically read, I could not wait to get my hands on this very buzzy effort, and I am so glad I did.

Readers who have access to the audio version should absolutely grab it. Listening to Fitzgerald narrate his own experiences heightens the impact of what are (under any circumstances) profound and memorable moments and lessons. The throughline here is powerful, a ...more

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Mar 25, 2022 Cassie rated it it was amazing

Dirtbag Massachusetts is an unflinching memoir-in-essay that kinda rocked me, Mr. Fitzgerald. I’ve got more stuff to talk about in therapy this week than I was originally planning on, can I send you the bill?
Fitzgerald’s writing is vulnerable, tender-hearted, and full of charm; reading it felt equal parts familiar and revelatory. He recalls scenes from his life with the emotional clarity of the greatest storytellers, offering readers glimpses into his past, lessons learned, and the kind of persi ...more

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Jul 12, 2022 Kristy rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2022, my-ebooks

Thank you, NetGalley, for this book!

I have known Isaac Fitzgerald for over a decade. I was a founding member of The Rumpus Book Club for several years. Isaac was the co-owner, managing editor, and moderator of our club’s message boards. He was like the fun uncle who had to get on to us every now and then to remind us to move our very off-topic conversations to our community threads rather than the book discussion threads. Through that book club, I made some excellent friends (hi, guys) who have Thank you, NetGalley, for this book!

I have known Isaac Fitzgerald for over a decade. I was a founding member of The Rumpus Book Club for several years. Isaac was the co-owner, managing editor, and moderator of our club’s message boards. He was like the fun uncle who had to get on to us every now and then to remind us to move our very off-topic conversations to our community threads rather than the book discussion threads. Through that book club, I made some excellent friends (hi, guys) who have kept in touch, and we read some books every now and then that are meaningful to our group: works by Adam Levin, Camille Bordas, and some upcoming ones by Elissa Bassist and Yuri Zalkow.

Although I got this book from NetGalley ages ago, I waited to read it until my friends could read, also. But, my mistake, I thought it was coming out this week, so I’m a week ahead. No matter. We will all get caught up soon enough. To read something by someone I’ve known for quite some time, although don’t really know at all, was a really interesting experience. I’ve heard Isaac’s voice a dozen times from his Today Show book suggestion segments. Side note: he always recommends excellent books. So, I could hear him coming through my kindle.

There are two types of memoirs. First: My life is so hard (it’s not) and I really need people to understand me (feel sorry for me) and my life of privilege really doesn’t matter (it does). Second: My life was hard (it was), but I take responsibility for my actions and admit, in the grand scheme of things, that I still had it pretty good compared to a lot of other people (because I am white). This book falls into the second category.

Isaac is an excellent writer, but he’s also very honest. This book pulls back the curtain on a lot of dark events of his life. Between having a trauma-filled childhood, never feeling comfortable in his skin, constantly searching for meaning and purpose, and wanting to do well in the world, Isaac lets the reader see what troubles him most. I loved this book. That’s odd to say because Isaac’s life was difficult, so I don’t want it to seem like I’m glad of that because it made for a good story. But I found Issac’s honesty and subsequent healing from all his trauma hopeful for his future. He seems to be in a much better place, which is what we all want for ourselves, no matter what our pasts reveal. ...more

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Jul 31, 2022 Sean rated it really liked it

3.5 stars rounded up

The strengths of Dirtbag are its observations on being human (especially in the later chapters) and the narrator’s fearless confessions about his young life.

Where it lost me was when it meandered away from its central story of being raised in an abusive household into essays on bars, bands, odd jobs and barber shops. Those felt like they belonged in another collection(s).

While I would have liked more fleshed-out stories from his childhood, and deeper perspectives on it throu ...more

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Aug 02, 2022 Mainlinebooker rated it liked it

Shelves: memoir

Heartbreaking. Raucous. Dark humor. A confessional for those men who are struggling to make sense of their lives. I love memoirs but despite rave reviews this was not for me. I didn't find humor at all in his situations described in these essays. His revelations drew pity from me for all the pain that he went through and the myriad ways he chose booze, drugs, and porn to block out the thoughts and words that his 8 year old inner child wanted to express. It reminded me of an old Irish saying, "Fi ...more

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Apr 16, 2022 Beth rated it it was amazing

Isaac Fitzgerald is a treasure in pretty much all of the ways, but especially for his ability to draw us into his extraordinary life with these thoughtful, sometimes warm, sometimes astonishing, warts-and-all essays. He describes himself as accommodating to a fault, but it is this accommodation and, it should be added, powerful empathy—toward the world and toward himself—that sets the hook. The truths he tells resonated deeply with me, a middle-aged woman with not a single tattoo who would rathe ...more

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Aug 04, 2022 Leigh Kramer rated it really liked it

Shelves: memoir

“A Confessional” is an apt subtitle for this memoir-in-essays. I’ve followed Fitzgerald on Twitter for the past few years and subscribe to his Substack so I had a sense of who he was as a storyteller but I had no idea what this book would be like. He’s a compelling writer, making me want to lean in closer to hear more, as if we’re sitting across each other instead of me reading words on a page. He’s lived a rather unconventional life—he earned a boarding school scholarship, smuggled medical supp “A Confessional” is an apt subtitle for this memoir-in-essays. I’ve followed Fitzgerald on Twitter for the past few years and subscribe to his Substack so I had a sense of who he was as a storyteller but I had no idea what this book would be like. He’s a compelling writer, making me want to lean in closer to hear more, as if we’re sitting across each other instead of me reading words on a page. He’s lived a rather unconventional life—he earned a boarding school scholarship, smuggled medical supplies in Burma, and his past jobs include bouncer, bartender, and porn actor—with a wide self-destructive streak, stemming from childhood poverty, physical and emotional abuse, and an unstable home. But there’s an affability to whatever he shares, in part because of his natural charm and in part because wants to know and be known. He’s been in therapy and is making sense of his old exploits and scars and what they mean to him now. Heed the content notes as needed because there is some difficult content. He shares about the ups and downs of his life and the lessons he’s learned (or still learning) and it made for good pondering. I particularly appreciated the way he grappled with his body dysmorphia and mental health. I would have never guessed this about him and that kind of honesty and openness will help so many people.

As much as I enjoyed this and found it to be strong work, something felt like it was missing and I haven’t quite pinned down what it is. I wanted more of a reckoning with some of the things he did in his past or to know what his relationship with anger is like these days. How and why did he have any contact with his abusive parents? (How could he be sure they really have changed? If anyone deserved to be cut off, it’s them.) It would have been helpful for him to delve more into how his present day drinking and drug use affects him and whether he sees any connection between that and his father’s alcoholism. Those choices contributed to poor decision-making in the past and I would have liked more reflection on that now. Perhaps it’s what he’s working through currently and it’s too soon to spill it on page. That’s fair. Books of this nature are a hard balance of vulnerability and self-awareness and not everything belongs to the public. Maybe it’s unfair for me to wish it had gone a little more in-depth. As it stands, this was well worth reading. I look forward to whatever he writes next.

Content notes: suicidal ideation, mother attempted suicide multiple times (hospitalized for a couple of weeks after one attempt), parental infidelity (view spoiler), violent home/domestic violence (not overly detailed), child physical and emotional abuse, mother told him she considered aborting him, father is recovering alcoholic and relapses, unstable housing (grew up in homeless shelter), sex work (porn), statutory rape/sexual abuse (view spoiler), pedophile priests and Catholic sexual abuse scandal (view spoiler), drove motorcycle while drunk (no accidents), minor injuries from motorcycle accident, fatshaming, fatphobia, weight loss and gain, body dysmorphia, Ritalin and Adderall abuse, author sold marijuana, racism (countered), various people who died (cancer, alcoholism, double murder, heart condition), fight club, BB guns, Burma civil war (includes mentions of child solders and landmines), childhood poverty, shoplifting, burglarizes homes, altitude sickness (sister), underage drinking, alcohol, excessing drinking, inebriation, recreational drug use (cocaine, mushrooms, speed, acid, etc.), marijuana, huffing, dip, cigarettes, gendered pejoratives, ableist language, mention of aunt with schizophrenia, mention of uncle accusing his father (author’s grandfather) of sexual abuse, references to sex, reference to kid who died by suicide, reference to getting mugged at age 8, reference to guy who sexually assaulted a girl who passed out at a party, references to homophobia and transphobia (countered), reference to AIDS epidemic, reference to sister-in-law’s miscarriage ...more

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Aug 04, 2022 Amy Lively rated it it was amazing

Since he said he still drinks, I will say that I would love to have a drink with this guy. He seems very insightful, very honest, and he is a hell of a storyteller.

Confessional is definitely an apt description of this unflinchingly honest memoir. He is the victim of childhood trauma and is obviously still working through it, although in a much more healthy way now than he did in his first 30 years. Fitzgerald gives a riveting account of the many twists and turns of his life and it is safe to say ...more

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Jul 24, 2022 Xtrmntr75 Brown rated it really liked it

The titular essay and the final one, titled My Story are both incredibly vulnerable, revealing and devastating. The others are solid, but I do wish the author had been as emotionally open in the other pieces as he is in those two. That being said, this is excellent and Fitzgerald’s point of view is consistently refreshing. Recommended.

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Jul 26, 2022 Emily rated it liked it

This didn’t flow easily as a memoir for me. The timeline/pacing felt off, with a lot of jumping back and forth between coasts and different periods of his life.

He does have few individual essays that were great, including “When your barber assumes you’re a racist too” which touches on stepping up and saying something when others assume your beliefs are the same as theirs, when they are in fact not the same, “My story” in which he talks about his journey to forgiveness, and an essay that detaile ...more

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Aug 01, 2022 Janet rated it liked it

Shelves: read-in-2022, memoir

This was perfectly fine - well-written, some good stories, vulnerable. But is it a Best Book of the Summer or Best Memoir of the Year? No, not really. No shade to the author at all. I thought the beginning/early years were interesting. Lagged a bit for the rest of the book and some of the chapters were definitely filler.

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Jul 30, 2022 Jessica Chapman rated it liked it

More like journal entries than a memoir.

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Jul 27, 2022 Kristina rated it liked it

Shelves: read-on-my-own

Meh

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Jul 30, 2022 Jess rated it liked it

It is rare that a man discusses body image issues, Fitzgerald examines his with care and humor. That was the most compelling part of this memoir for me.

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Jul 31, 2022 Bookreporter.com Biography & Memoir rated it it was amazing

There is much to marvel about in Isaac Fitzgerald’s marvelous memoir-in-essays, DIRTBAG, MASSACHUSETTS. But among its most noteworthy aspects is the fact that its author survived some of the events he describes long enough to write about them. From his “loud, dark childhood” in an abusive home, to his introduction to alcohol, drugs and petty theft as a 12-year-old, to the time he drove “black-out drunk” some 70 miles from Santa Cruz to San Francisco on a motorcycle, Fitzgerald’s life has been ma There is much to marvel about in Isaac Fitzgerald’s marvelous memoir-in-essays, DIRTBAG, MASSACHUSETTS. But among its most noteworthy aspects is the fact that its author survived some of the events he describes long enough to write about them. From his “loud, dark childhood” in an abusive home, to his introduction to alcohol, drugs and petty theft as a 12-year-old, to the time he drove “black-out drunk” some 70 miles from Santa Cruz to San Francisco on a motorcycle, Fitzgerald’s life has been marked by more than its share of frightening moments. That he’s chosen to write about these experiences in such a revealing and compassionate way will make the many readers this book deserves happy that he’s still here.

“My parents were married when they had me, just to different people.” Fitzgerald memorably begins the opening essay, “Family Stories,” on this DAVID COPPERFIELD-like note. “I was born of sin: a mistake in human form, a bomb aimed perfectly to blow up both my parents’ lives,” he writes, describing the affair between his mother and father --- fellow divinity students and each the parent of another child at the time --- that produced him. When Fitzgerald was eight, his parents left their jobs with the socialist Catholic Worker in Boston and moved to his mother’s hometown in rural North Central Massachusetts, next door to the house of her own parents, who never forgave her for her transgression.

Although, as Fitzgerald explains in sometimes graphic and painful detail, that fateful decision inflicted incalculable damage on him and his family, the injuries weren’t irreversible. He had the good fortune to enroll in boarding school at age 14, which offered an escape from his troubled environment and helped him realize “for the first time in my life that change was possible.” He had “come to thrive on the feeling of being set into a far bigger container --- one whose possibilities I was growing into, with still more room to move.”

While Fitzgerald’s life was hardly unruffled after that transition and DIRTBAG, MASSACHUSETTS is populated with at least as many downs as ups, it’s also suffused with many warmhearted recollections. One of the most appealing is the story of the well-known San Francisco bar, Zeitgeist, where he worked for several years.

“Zeitgeist’s aesthetic is metal bar meets dive bar meets German beer garden,” he remembers --- “not just in how it looks but in the workers’ attitudes.” In that piece, “Home,” he affectionately describes his lifelong affinity for bars, a love affair that began from the moment he entered his first one at age 14 in Amherst, Massachusetts. “My father didn’t drink,” he writes. “So I spend a lifetime finding refuge in bars. Finding companionship in bars. Finding the father figures I didn’t know I was searching for in bars.”

Another equally forthcoming essay discloses Fitzgerald’s passion for the rock band The Hold Steady (if you’ve never heard their music, you’ll definitely be persuaded to look them up on your favorite streaming app after reading this encomium), describing how their music “operated as mirrors, reflecting our own experiences back onto us, even as they were windows, showing us how art could be made from the stuff of our lives.” He combines it with a touching remembrance of his friend Jef, a one-time Zeitgeist bartender who introduced him to the band’s music --- a reminder of the need to appreciate those we love while they’re still with us.

In these and other entries, like “Confessions of a Former Former Fat Kid,” in which he describes his lifelong struggles with weight and body image, Fitzgerald’s style marries candor and eloquence. He never minimizes his own transgressions; he is as open about his failings as he is unsparing in assigning blame to the parents who, for all their dedication to the Catholic Church and their shared commitment to a life of good works, set their own child’s life on its rocky course.

But Fitzgerald often shifts his focus from the travails of his family. Two of the book’s essays describe highly unusual interludes in his colorful 20s. “Maybe I Could Die This Way” (the piece that recalls his drunken motorcycle ride) captures the time he spent working for the Free Burma Rangers, an NGO that smuggled aid to anti-government rebels in the country of Myanmar. “The Armory” is the story of the time he happily performed as an extra in pornographic films in San Francisco, admitting that he found “safety, and love, and friendship, and fun in a massive brick BDSM porn compound.”

In the concluding essay, “My Story,” Fitzgerald brings his account full circle while on the cusp of his 40th birthday. This self-described “bastard prince of New England” has emerged from all his trials damaged, wiser, empathetic and, above all, clear-eyed about where he’s been and where he may be going. “Slowly but surely, I figured out how to live my life, how to find the things I loved and how to get good at those things and even be able to admit to myself that I was good --- that I was allowed to feel proud of myself.” As for his parents, “I haven’t forgiven them yet, but I try to. I try. I try. I try.”

It’s a hard-earned benediction to an equally moving story. If the second half of his life is even half as interesting as the first, there should be many more absorbing stories to come.

Reviewed by Harvey Freedenberg ...more

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May 03, 2022 Paige rated it really liked it

Amidst the grittiness and sharp wit, Fitzgerald’s memoir is vulnerable. Told through twelve essays covering different topics, from the band The Hold Steady to growing up Catholic, the approach works. Throughout the volume, Fitzgerald’s search for self and grappling with life’s pain is a common and meaningful thread.

He is often funny. In his opening line, Fitzgerald quips “My parents were married when they had me, just to different people.” Some of the best humor has a dark underbelly, and her Amidst the grittiness and sharp wit, Fitzgerald’s memoir is vulnerable. Told through twelve essays covering different topics, from the band The Hold Steady to growing up Catholic, the approach works. Throughout the volume, Fitzgerald’s search for self and grappling with life’s pain is a common and meaningful thread.

He is often funny. In his opening line, Fitzgerald quips “My parents were married when they had me, just to different people.” Some of the best humor has a dark underbelly, and here he excels.

Yet, the essays are also deeply relatable because Fitzgerald highlights basic human struggles, from feeling self-conscious about appearance to expressing anger about one thing, which is often about so much more than one thing. For example, he describes hitting a former classmate with his math book after being called “tubby.” Reflecting on the incident, he acknowledges his sensitivity about being called fat, but it was a trigger for more anger simmering under the surface, stemming from chaos and deficiencies at his home in Massachusetts.

Indeed, underneath his outward anger – whether throwing punches in his grade school Fight Club knockoff or hurling a book - lay the hurt of growing up with a mother whose sadness poured out of her. There was an absent, furious, and sometimes alcoholic father who continued to be unfaithful after marrying his mother. There were stern grandparents, disapproving of their daughter’s choices, and by association, Fitzgerald. In this emotional chaos, he tries to ground himself, but struggles to be at peace, especially with the body he was given.

While his road began in Massachusetts, where he was born, he seems to be in a constant search for home, which may not be Massachusetts. He finds a sense of belonging in a bar called Zeitgeist in San Francisco, where he spent hours either working or drinking or both. Fitzgerald hints that his love affair with drinking may be an escape valve from his pain, but does not fully delve into that landmine. Instead, he tries out new things, new looks, new jobs. He cycles through different haircuts. He gets tattoos. He works in the porn industry. He becomes a bouncer. He volunteers to help displaced persons in Burma. As he sheds a job or old haircut, Fitzgerald tries to become who he truly is, which, like many of us, is often a struggle that lasts years, if not a lifetime.

Fitzgerald also demonstrates a refreshing level of introspection and humility. Reflecting back on a book that did not age well, but he once treasured and even took hundreds of miles from the East Coast to the West Coast when younger, he admits the material is now offensive. He wonders how he ever liked the book, but he understands that he has grown. And he acknowledges that we must always continue to grow, or else we get stuck in an unhealthy stagnation.

Through openness and good writing, Fitzgerald evokes what being human feels like. Through the fun times, the hard times, and all the times in between. As Anne Lamott wisely stated, “Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth.” When you go into “those rooms and closets and woods and abysses that we were told not go into . . . just breathing and finally taking it in – then we will be able to speak in our own voice and to stay in the present moment. And that moment is home.”

Fitzgerald embraces these elements of great memoir, yet there are other rooms and closets and woods and abysses, ones that build upon the essays in this volume. They are just waiting to be told.

Reviewed from a copy made available from NetGalley.
...more

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Aug 07, 2022 David Rodriguez rated it it was ok

I am kind of unsure about this book and how exactly I feel about it, probably because I have a lot of mixed feelings. There are parts I liked. He writes well, is quite descriptive, and does get quite vulnerable. Some of the stories were really interesting and captivating to the point I couldn't stop. The last chapter/"essay" was what I was hoping most of the book would be. A chronological walk through of his life.

But to what made me not like the book. First, I think part of it is I had 0 attach I am kind of unsure about this book and how exactly I feel about it, probably because I have a lot of mixed feelings. There are parts I liked. He writes well, is quite descriptive, and does get quite vulnerable. Some of the stories were really interesting and captivating to the point I couldn't stop. The last chapter/"essay" was what I was hoping most of the book would be. A chronological walk through of his life.

But to what made me not like the book. First, I think part of it is I had 0 attachment to or knowledge of this guy prior to this book. So, he didn't hold any special place in my heart prior to coming to this book. Perhaps someone who has followed him and his life before will love this book so much more. But because he's a complete stranger, my experience of reading the book is just that: me reading about some random dude's story as he grew up in New England. That isn't bad in-itself. It just is. But maybe because of my 0 attachment, my reading is colored.

Second, I think I don't really like the guy. I honestly think that's what's it. I do feel for him and empathize with him and what he's gone through in life. But he comes off as kind of an asshole. Of course, maybe that's just the "I don't give a f*** about what people think about me" New England type attitude. But I just found myself kind of put off, and I can't point to any specific thing he did or said once or twice. I think it's just the persona or vibe he gives off. He's just not my type of dude. He's an alcoholic and drowned away his problems. He recognizes that's what he's done but he just kind of shrugs it off. I guess I was hoping there'd be some redemption or even some repentance or humility in the book. Maybe there was some of it in the book. But it didn't feel like it. But then maybe that's a me problem. He doesn't owe me that. This is his story.

But, yeah, he's an alcoholic. Has worked at and loves bars. Bars are basically his home and life. That just isn't my vibe. He admits that that's how he came to find safety from the chaos at home. But bars and the bar scene just do not do that for me. He also had a stint in pornography which I did NOT like reading about, though I did read on because of curiosity. He doesn't want kids; he abandoned catholicism and doesn't believe in God. And I can go on. Basically, we have very different values and perspectives on life. I did appreciate his vulnerability and just getting a picture of another's life and how he works to overcome his past. But there wasn't much of an offer of hope or redemption. Again, that's a me problem as that's an expectation I had of his work that he never said he was going to give us.

So, I came away thinking yeah, there are some good points, but I can't get myself to like the guy. He's not the kind of guy I'd want to be friends with. I thought some of his political meandering were just kind of whiney. They lacked substance and I didn't really care for that or like it much. This book got a lot of hype, and I do not think this matches the hype at all. I agree with other 2 star reviewers that basically called this mediocre. Just a really mediocre memoir from someone I have 0 investment in. I am glad I at least stepped out of my comfort zone to get a different experience. I'm just bummed it left a not-so-good taste in my mouth. ...more

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Apr 05, 2022 Peter Knox rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2022, kindle, non-fiction

What ever happened to Maniac Magee when he grew up?

We readers (or I at least) love the memoir genre of fucked-up-families. We get the shock and awe, while knowing that the author managed to emerge from their hellscape history with enough of their shit together to write the book you're reading.

This trend dates back to early breakthroughs like David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Mary Karr, The Liars' Club and others we thought were TOO honest in the ear before the social internet and blogs and Twit What ever happened to Maniac Magee when he grew up?

We readers (or I at least) love the memoir genre of fucked-up-families. We get the shock and awe, while knowing that the author managed to emerge from their hellscape history with enough of their shit together to write the book you're reading.

This trend dates back to early breakthroughs like David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Mary Karr, The Liars' Club and others we thought were TOO honest in the ear before the social internet and blogs and Twitter.

Now how does this even make sense, the confessional fucked up personal history, when we're surrounded by it on all sides all the time?

The reason anything works - because it's GOOD. Sincere, heartfelt, emotional, strong writing is always worth stopping to read. Thankfully, Isaac is better than good - this book is great. He writes plainly, but with zest, and the prose feels light even when dealing with heavy subject matter.

And this trend (see Jami Attenberg I Came All This Way To Meet You + Alexander Chee) is now to do this less in chronological memoir autobiography style, but essays on a theme swirling around stories and memories that bring you to a time and a place and a feeling without being dragged down by detail and timeline.

Fitzgerald has brought decency and honor to the bar book, the fucked-up-family memoir, the bad boy does good coming-of-age and still trying to get it right book. You get his catholic upbringing, the family tension, the alcoholism and emotional abuse, the boarding school escape that was more of the same but classier, the manifest destiny journey west to San Fran, the motorcycle invincibility, the dangerous and questionable NGO time abroad in Cambodia, and the return to NYC east coast life and a new definition and era of family.

Fitzgerald writes in tribute to his past, his family, his upbringing, his idols, his mentors behind the bar, and those that tried to save him or drag him down deeper in the process of learning to live. It's beautiful. You want to underline most of this book and share it with someone else who remembers seeing Fight Club and then thinking you can just fight your friends in your basement the same way.

He writes without pretension, just amazement and wonder and appreciation. And it's wonderful to read and travel the world and worry for him, but know he makes it ok - that he's still here despite ::all of this::

I encourage you to read this for yourself and be changed (or not!) by experiences we should be glad to have not had, but still curious about having. And let's hope for more books like this from Isaac. ...more

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Jun 05, 2022 Natalie rated it liked it

Shelves: arc

In one of the later essays in this memoir-in-essays, Isaac Fitzgerald describes the layers that exist between him and others: how he might entertain you with a cheeky, catchy opening salvo about his life story; how as he gets to know you--or conversely, if he knows he'll never see you again--he might let you glimpse some of the darker aspects of his childhood; how as a member of one of his chosen communities, he might sob while sharing the darkest memories.

I'm not sure where the intended audien In one of the later essays in this memoir-in-essays, Isaac Fitzgerald describes the layers that exist between him and others: how he might entertain you with a cheeky, catchy opening salvo about his life story; how as he gets to know you--or conversely, if he knows he'll never see you again--he might let you glimpse some of the darker aspects of his childhood; how as a member of one of his chosen communities, he might sob while sharing the darkest memories.

I'm not sure where the intended audience fits in to this formula--perhaps somewhere between his entertaining façade and honest revelations born of never seeing us again. For sure, this is an engaging collection. You can imagine why he fits in so well in so many constructed communities, from porn content producers, to biker bar staff and patrons, to evangelical relief workers. Fitzgerald knows how to tell a story, and when he does (e.g., describing how he came to smuggle medical aid across the Thai-Burmese border), he is captivating. And while we get glimpses of the darkness early on, he waits to share some of the more wrenching details until the final essay.

Yet this collection only goes so far in its current structure. Fitzgerald does offer some nuanced insights about his experiences and is honest about where he is a work in progress. In that way, the somewhat chaotic organization of this collection makes sense, because he still appears to be working out all the threads. Sometimes, though, he does not acknowledge how content from an earlier essay intersects with stories from a later section. For instance, how does someone who shies away from nudity or toplessness because of body dysmorphia issues become someone featured in internet porn? I would have like to hear his reflections on how these stories complicate each other. I spent a long time trying to piece together timelines to understand how themes from each of these essays overlapped with one another and the interesting intersections that arose when his stories connected.

And maybe it's okay that those answers aren't forthcoming here, that his essays meander before looping back on themselves or resolving in later sections--isn't that how life often is?

That said, this book is a powerful reflection on the communities we choose and the people we chose to leave, the reproductive nature of violence, and the things we embrace to alleviate pain and plug holes within ourselves. You will enjoy spending time with Isaac Fitzgerald and only wish you had been invited further behind his walls.

3.5/5

I received an advance reader copy from Netgalley for an honest review. ...more

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Feb 27, 2022 J Earl rated it really liked it

Dirtbag, Massachusetts by Isaac Fitzgerald is a memoir in essays that is both engaging and entertaining.

I almost feel guilty saying that reading about a person's ups and downs in life is entertaining but that is, I think (hope?) what Fitzgerald wants us to be. We actually can learn a lot when we are being entertained, that is the power of much popular culture.

The general idea of the book seems to be presented early in an early chapter, we like stories and we relate to stories. So rather than si ...more

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Jul 25, 2022 Mark McLaughlin rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

My career and Isaac's crossed paths briefly at BuzzFeed. I was consulting for the advertising group and he was the Books Section editor. My temporary cubicle was near his work area and he went out of his way to introduce himself and make me feel comfortable. His personality was magnetic and his humanity was deep under a veneer of humor. He is larger than life and unforgettable even under mundane circumstances.
So, I was curious to be an early reader of his "confessional." My god, what a story. I ...more

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Aug 07, 2022 Stella rated it it was amazing

You know a book is perfect when one chapter in, you message your best book friend that he MUST read it, and he replies back that just put it on his 'to be read' list because he's heard so many good things about it.

I first came across Isaac Fitzgerald because of his essay on being a "fun uncle". As a forever 'Fun Aunt', I recognized someone with a similar soul so I quickly followed his twitter and was pleased to see that he had a book coming out soon. He apparently live in my neighborhood so I'm ...more

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Apr 09, 2022 Sue rated it really liked it

Dirtbag, Massachusetts is a collection of essays written by Isaac Fitzgerald about his life. They are not quite chronological, but generally begin in his childhood and go up through his life, more or less. Some are so full of violence and drugs and alcohol they made me cringe. I'm pretty sure that was his intent. The overarching theme here is how profoundly parents can fuck up their children, for lack of a better term, and Fitzgerald was profoundly fucked up. We don't get all the details here, b ...more

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Apr 28, 2022 Maria Maniscalco rated it really liked it

Shelves: giveaways

Received this book preprint as a recipient of Goodreads Giveaway (yes I was stoked to be selected)

Reading this book, I felt like I was sitting in the backyard of one of my besties homes in Massachusetts, looking at the green New England foliage and listening to a man tell stories-- beverage in hand, staring at the skyline. I always enjoy a good storyteller and this author, kept me reading.
The author was able to describe in words who I think he is (without actually writing these words): Tough NE ...more

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About Isaac Fitzgerald

Isaac Fitzgerald

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Isaac Fitzgerald appears frequently on The Today Show and is the author of the bestselling children’s book How to Be a Pirate as well as the co-author of Pen & Ink: Tattoos and the Stories Behind Them and Knives & Ink: Chefs and the Stories Behind Their Tattoos (winner of an IACP Award). His writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Guardian, The Best American Nonrequired Reading, The Boston ...more