Ghosts don't haunt apartments

Aviouse96 · 2022-07-11T12:40:19+00:00

My theory is the girl resided in the cave and then came home with me when I woke up. I don't know how she did it, or really why. I only ever saw the cave in my dreams as a kid, and haven't been back since she left there.

Aviouse96 · 2022-07-11T06:28:28+00:00

I'm not sure about spirit CPS but I did talk to a psychic who advised I sleep with holy water next to my bed. It's been a while since I've done that but maybe I could get some more..

Aviouse96 · 2022-07-04T01:17:18+00:00

YTA - I work in orthopedics and have held patients hands, hugged them (pre-covid) when things got emotional, let them vent/cry when they needed to, been the listening ear, sat on the phone for 45+min with patients not doing well, hell I even sat a patient down at my desk and let them call their therapist on my work phone when they had a breakdown in the office.

We've been short staffed for years and yet my coworkers and I still take the time to be the support and advocate that every patient deserves. You should leave healthcare. I get being burnt out, but if you can't even see what you did wrong and how crass you were with that poor woman then you're in the wrong field.

Aviouse96 · 2022-07-03T05:29:46+00:00

Goodness, it really depends. I dated a senior my freshman year. We're married now with our third kid on the way, and I couldn't be happier. We went through a lot of shit to get where we are now though. We're definitely the exception and not the rule.

I've had friends in the exact same situation I was in and it turned out poorly for my friends. Age matters when you're young. There is the legality of it depending on your states Romeo and Juliette laws, age of consent, etc. There is also the maturity level between you two. The potential of bring separated while you're at college. You're preparing your adult life, and she's embracing being a teenager. And public opinion. No one bats an eye at my husband and I anymore, until it's mentioned that we've been together for 12 years and people start doing mental math. He got a lot of pushback from his friends and peers. It was difficult to get past.

I'm not so worried about you being coworkers necessarily because of your age, but you usually want to avoid fratinizing like that in the workplace.

Aviouse96 · 2022-07-03T00:44:17+00:00

Thank you!

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-28T02:13:53+00:00

I guess it depends on where you live. If we lived in the suburbs or something then I'd be more comfortable with it, probably. We live in a small city but we definitely have enough people around that I wouldn't want my kids to talk to or be with unattended. Drugs and mental illness are very common here, so 8 wouldn't be old enough for me to have my kid walking several blocks alone.

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-28T02:04:26+00:00

I have the opposite problem where I live. Not a lot of traction from other vehicles, though we do get the occasional person thinking they're a speed racer. We do have an issue with other people though. Mental illness and drugs are a problem here and my son has zero filter. That plus thinking every adult is a safe adult makes me nervous.

The two closest parks to us have had used needles on the playground, and we live only 2 blocks from the central bus station so we get a few people I'd rather he not speak to around our house.

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-28T01:23:10+00:00

I think adding more context is important.

Saying that a child with no sense of stranger danger is being neglected, when there are no other signs of neglect or abuse, is equally as dangerous as not knowing. I couldn't imagine someone reporting me to CPS because my oldest is too friendly for even my comfort.

But then you add the context: kiddo has no sense of stranger danger, is alone outside for hours at a time, guardian doesn't know where she is or what she's doing, and no concept of boundaries. With all the context, yes the child is showing signs of neglect.

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-28T01:13:25+00:00

Yeah I was a 90's kid! We were out all day with no regard for our safety, as long as we were back by sundown. My parents still had rules about not going to peoples houses though.

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-28T01:06:16+00:00

Oh it definitely did! I'm not saying the girl isn't being neglected. I don't like that she's walking several blocks alone and granny had no idea, that's an issue. My response is 100% to the original comment stating that a lack of stranger danger is a sign of neglect.

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-28T01:03:50+00:00

there is a difference between thinking everyone is your friend and going out of your way to visit someone constantly, again and again.

Yes and no. We have a neighbor that my oldest is convinced is his friend because she told him her name once, two years ago. I think the only reason he doesn't go knocking on her door is because he knows he'll get in trouble for leaving the yard. But if he can see her, he's talking to her. Poor woman can't garden, mow the lawn, walk her dogs, or even hang out outside without playing 20 questions and getting video game trivia from my oldest.

My biggest concern isn't the knocking on the door or the lack of stranger danger, it's the fact that the 8yr old is walking several blocks to OP's house. Like, that shouldn't be a thing at age 8. My kiddo isn't allowed to leave the yard, period, unless he asks. And I need to know exactly where he is when he leaves, and always in yelling distance. So that to me seems neglectful. I was just pointing out in the original comment that the stranger danger isn't a sign of neglect.

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-28T00:44:00+00:00

NTA - I have a 100% overbite. At least 2 of my kids (still cooking the third) also have a 100% overbite. They'll need braces and a lot of work done to correct them. We are well aware of what is to come. (Mine was never corrected due to poverty).

We all still make jokes about how they have my teeth, there's no mistaking they're mine, the genes are strong, etc. You stated a harmless observation. I think your brother is just insecure because he knows how much he teased you, and is worried his daughter will suffer the same fate.

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-28T00:36:14+00:00

That's not entirely accurate. My oldest (6) has never met a "stranger", meaning he thinks anyone and everyone is his friend. Despite me trying to instill in him SEVERAL times that some people are not nice and will hurt him. He forgets it immediately after the conversation. He's been that way his entire life.

My middle child (2) on the other hand hates other people. Will straight up deck someone who picks him up without his approval. It's like he got both his and his brothers stranger danger radar.

I've raised them the same, but they are complete opposites. Having no sense of stranger danger isn't always an indication of neglect.

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-22T18:19:19+00:00

I think this is unfair. It's two months of her making the conscious decision to not only neglect her relationship with her spouse, but also her child. I used to work 13hr shifts and would get back when my child was already in bed. So I made it a point to spend mornings and my days off with him. She has chosen to spend her days off outside of the household for two months, she has chosen to "wind down" with her coworkers instead of her family for two months. Her child is asking if she even lives there anymore after a 3 day lapse of her not even seeing him.

I think it's totally reasonable for OP to be at his wits end, especially when he's trying to come up with solutions and she is not.

Aviouse96 · 2022-06-19T02:52:12+00:00

This is so, so difficult. Every adult in your life failed you, and I'm so sorry for what you had to endure.

If you never wanted to see or speak to these people again I don't think anyone would blame you. If you want to try and give them a chance then maybe something you can do is write out a detailed letter explaining

Everything your "mother" put you through, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The impact it had on your childhood and adult life
The impact that their inaction had and has on you.
Things you would require to have a happy, healthy relationship with your extended family.

Gaging their responses to the letter will help you determine whether they're worth keeping in your life. And writing the letter might be helpful to get it all out.

Just remember you deserve to be loved and cared for. You didn't do anything to warrant the treatment of your mother, or the abandonment from your extended family. You were a child and you deserve so much more than what has been offered to you in life so far.

Aviouse96 · 2022-05-27T00:37:37+00:00

Mine was $40 off of Amazon, and I loved it

Aviouse96 · 2022-05-10T20:34:02+00:00

I added that snippet more of an explanation as to WHY he is the way he is to her. THAT'S WHY

You're wrong. The "why" is because he is a stalker. That is why. Normal people don't behave this way no matter how "far" they got with someone.

Should she have disclosed her sexual history with him? Yes. You blaming her though is disgusting.

Aviouse96 · 2022-05-06T00:15:51+00:00

They were draining my mental health. Our once "give and take" friendship turned into "take, take, take" on their part. I tried explaining to them how they were making me feel, and it never did anything. Every conversation was about them and their problems. When I was pregnant, having complications, while also trying to raise a toddler myself because my husband was deployed they never asked how I was holding up, what they could do to help, if I was okay. 100% of our conversations centered around them.

When my middle child was born, we were moving into the house my husband and I bought together, and my husband had only been home for three weeks... this friend had a breakdown and ended up staying with us for almost two weeks. I had to balance them, tend to a newborn, reconnect with my husband, and reassure my toddler that he's still important to me.

Eventually I just... stopped responding. They didn't care about me, just about what I could offer them. They didn't want to change and it got to the point that the weight of their problems was impacting my mental health more than I could handle. It's been two years, they still reach out sometimes but I just... don't reply. They won't understand or care, so I don't owe them an explanation.

Aviouse96 · 2022-05-06T00:15:41+00:00

They were draining my mental health. Our once "give and take" friendship turned into "take, take, take" on their part. I tried explaining to them how they were making me feel, and it never did anything. Every conversation was about them and their problems. When I was pregnant, having complications, while also trying to raise a toddler myself because my husband was deployed they never asked how I was holding up, what they could do to help, if I was okay. 100% of our conversations centered around them.

When my middle child was born, we were moving into the house my husband and I bought together, and my husband had only been home for three weeks... this friend had a breakdown and ended up staying with us for almost two weeks. I had to balance them, tend to a newborn, reconnect with my husband, and reassure my toddler that he's still important to me.

Eventually I just... stopped responding. They didn't care about me, just about what I could offer them. They didn't want to change and it got to the point that the weight of their problems was impacting my mental health more than I could handle. It's been two years, they still reach out sometimes but I just... don't reply. They won't understand or care, so I don't owe them an explanation.

Aviouse96 · 2022-04-28T19:25:17+00:00

From the very little research I did on this (read quick Google search) apparently the reason is warm/desert climates have less food sources available than other climates. So, a lot of native species have evolved to be able to kill or subdue their prey using as little energy as possible. This was done by becoming venomous.

Aviouse96 · 2022-04-12T19:36:43+00:00

Husband and his family infuriate me. My husband's family had issues with us being together (he's Peruvian, I'm white. I brought in a child from a different relationship, and him being a "stepfather" is shameful). He ghosted them for six months. Went scorched the earth, deactivated his social media and didn't respond to their calls or texts for six months. He went through an entire deployment and didn't even let them know whether or not he was safe, or stateside.

When his family reached out to him with an apology, he said it was up to me on whether or not he resumed contact and they needed to apologize to me. Once we had our second child (his first biological child) he set hard boundaries that they either treat them equally, or won't have contact with him or them ever again.

That is how you defend your spouse. The second the mom made a comment, OOP's husband should have cut the cord.

Aviouse96 · 2022-04-10T16:35:11+00:00

We had family in AJ and they helped my family secure a house in Florence (because housing was super cheap). We moved there from Nevada and it made sense financially.

Aviouse96 · 2022-04-10T16:28:17+00:00

Well I moved there at 14, so mostly just high school.

Aviouse96 · 2022-04-10T05:26:16+00:00

Depends on where in AZ you plan to visit!

Keep your dog relatively close, pack lots of water for the pup if you plan on walking. The biggest threats to dogs where I was at were the snakes and the toads. Snakes usually let out a warning before attacking, and as long as you don't let the pup lick the toads you should be fine.

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