Today I Fucked Up
r/tifu
4
This is more of a we fucked up but here’s what’s happened over the past 8 months. So my gf’s mom and my mom work together. They became close friends last year and since then they’ve been trying to get her daughter and I (19F and 19M) together. They made a few attempts at getting us to meet and it was annoying af. All we kept hearing was how good we would be together. We never actually met each other until she was tricked into getting a job where I work.
I had seen pictures of her but she looked even better in person. After getting to know each other over the next 4 months we realized we had a lot in common. Problem is we’re both stubborn and didn’t want to give them the satisfaction that they were right about us. So to repay them, we decided to pretend that we hated each other while secretly dating. If the relationship lasted a year then we would tell them about us.
We made up a story about an argument we had one day at work. After that we would just randomly talk shit about each other to our moms and then sit back and see what their reactions were. It was hilarious and made it easier for us to secretly date.
But last week, we probably took the joke too far. My gf was giving me some lines to say about her and we decided on “I wouldn’t be the first guy from work that she slept with”. When I told my mom this one, she told my Gf’s mom about it. It started an argument between the two of them about how I treat her daughter horribly. Of course my mom tried to defend me by saying she’s heard all of the insults my gf has said about me.
Two days ago we were told that they were no longer friends. We told them the truth about our relationship but I guess it was too late because they said some pretty nasty stuff about each other. Now my Gf and I feel awful for breaking up a good friendship. We should have been honest about our relationship from the start, especially with 2 people who would’ve been supportive of us.
TL;DR: GF and I didn’t want our moms to know they were right about us being good for each other. We pretended that we hated each other while we secretly dated and it broke up their friendship
So last night was going normally, i'm on vacation with my boyfriend chilling out, when i start getting random username mentions and chat requests. I'm not even a super active user so i was a little surprised.
My surprise level went from "a little" to "holy shit" when I found out why i was coming up in topics everywhere all of a sudden: A post i had made 8 years ago showing off my little tattoo was being used by conspiracy theorists (at first) then alt right twitter and other places on reddit and elsewhere.
Turns out when you search "socialist tattoo" on google images my tattoo is high in the results for whatever algorithmic reason; so the loons who started this must've found it that way.
But they seemed to not consider that i'm a real human being not just a random propaganda piece for them to use.
So, now instead of enjoying my time together with my boyfriend on the holiday, people are out there thinking my chonky arm belongs to this little worm who besides being like 14 when i got my tattoo also definitely doesn't look like me. Like a commenter said "couldn't they have even cropped out his full beard in the tattoo picture?" The lengths people are going to "prove" their "side" right in politics today is scary. I'm getting messages from fact checkers of major news sites to prove that indeed I'm not a mass murderer instead of making the stew i had planned for dinner.
TL;DR I definitely fucked up by posting a picture 8 years ago of my tattoo, a picture that is now being used by conspiracy theorists to connect me with a mass shooter and will probably haunt me for a while.
P.S. Sorry if i got the formatting wrong at all, like i said: I don't actually make many posts.
4For context my mom(52)and I(21F) are very close and both have a very sarcastic sort of humor. She is also tech friendly and has social media's like tiktok, Instagram, Facebook etc. She moved away to another country after getting a divorce while I am studying in my home country and living with my brother. I was never close to my step father and he doesn't live with us.
Months ago my mom sent me a picture of a pedicure she got and I told her that it looked really cute. The conversation changed to how she wants to spoil herself after her divorce but she's low on spending money since moving... This is where I fucked up... I jokingly said that she should sell feet pics. She laughed and that's where the conversation ended.
... A month later my mom sent me another picture of her pedicure. She told me that she was interested in selling feet pics.. (I THOUGHT SHE WAS JOKING). And I laughed and said go for it and she laughed too.
Then a week later she sent me a screenshot of an older man on Instagram asking for feet pics. I asked her what she was doing and she said she took my idea so that she could get extra spending money. I told her I was uncomfortable with her telling me this and she said it'll be her secret and won't bring it up anymore.
And she hasn't but today I went to search her up on tiktok. She has gained so many followers on the platform I was mortified, I checked in her bio and there was a link to her Instagram. All her recent photos are just her feet and I felt so grossed out and uncomfortable but the worst part is when I scrolled down I saw a picture of my portrait (I painted it) with a caption saying that she's so proud of me... She has hundreds of pictures of her feet and there in the middle is a picture of my face... I felt so grossed out.
I did ask her to take it down. She apologized, took it down and said she just wanted to show of her daughters art skills.
TL;DR after joking about her selling feet pictures to my mother, she actually did it. I checked her social media's and a picture of my face was in the middle of all of her feet pictures.
3
When I was really young as a child of 10 in primary school, a fun activity we used to indulge in was having groups of kids with designated locations on the playground called 'Pine Cone Bases' where we'd collect as many Pine Cones as possible and stash them there at the location of choice.
There were Pine Trees completely circling around the oval, so during the Autumn the ground would become littered with them. We'd all collect as many as possible. When the season for Pine Cones passed, stealing Pine Cones from other bases and bringing them to your own was permitted but you had to give it back if you were tagged, most leaders would build diplomatic relationships with others so there would be peace. This did not always last and war would break out between the clans.
My base was strategically picked where two fences met near sandwiched together. The neighbouring house, and the school itself. The Pine Cones would slip right down between the two fences and would be secure from any theft from other clans, naturally, we reached the top.
The base with the most Pine Cones was considered the pinnacle of all bases and its people among the elite. 'Hotels' and 'Holiday Houses' paled in comparison to the might of the Master Pine Cone Base.. it demanded without question everyone's respect. My influence allowed me to pick what the special could be for the canteen lunch. It was always chicken tendies.
One day as a school excursion, we went to the city Aquarium with bingo charts and questionaires which we had to solve by going to each point of interest consisting of Octopi, Coral, Fish, Sharks and other marine wildlife and activities. We were all split into groups of five, I was in team Sea Urchin.. we didn't get to pick our names. ᵀᵉᵃᵐ ᴾᶦⁿᵉ ᶜᵒⁿᵉ
Entering one of the rooms containing many glass walls with beautiful wildlife swimming about behind them, there was a single tank in the centre with the lid off.. just low enough for kids to see inside. Full of coral and bubbles, but there, right in my face and bobbing in the centre, was the strangest, sleek and smoothest looking Pine Cone I've ever seen.. it was beautiful, spiral in shape. My eyes must have flared in surprise and my mind began to rush, because before anyone had a chance to see me, I had picked it up out of the water and stuffed it into my backpack.
Throughout the rest of the excursion, we continued to answer all the questions and spot the bingo charts with the fish we found, it turned out to not be a contest, but whether or not the students were engaged with the activity.. no prizes were awarded.
Eventually the excusion came to a conclusion and we all had to return to the bus, everything seemed normal, though I was a slight bit giddy, far too excited to return to the playground. Once we returned to school, I proudly ran across the oval and placed my beautiful, unique Pine Cone in the centre of the rest, right between the two fences where it was certainly safe.
The moment the bell rung, we all went back to our classrooms and the teacher had yet to enter, he came later than usual. Upon coming through the door, he was red in the face, flustered as he leaned against the chalkboard. With a strain in his voice, he said.. "Does anybody know anything about a missing Shark Egg from the Aquarium today?"
I’m a pretty… joy-forward person. I don’t know if that will make sense to you, but if you know you know. Many find me obnoxious, many enjoy my approach. I keep on doing my thing either way.
I’ve started a new, corporate-adjacent job, and it’s taking some adjusting. I asked a question today to someone who, frankly, might think I’m an idiot. Mid-question, the total lack of desire to deal with me filled his eyes which is not uncommon in our interactions.
I got nervous, but I already had his attention, so there was no going back. My solution? I started to dance through my question. Like a literal shimmy. If I’m being honest, I have sung one or more statement to this person before.
It’s like when someone doesn’t quite “get it”, my inner-weirdo doubles down into Awkward Fortress of Weird.
So, if you’re reading this, laidback coworker trying to mind your business and get your work done… just know I know.
TL;DR tifu by being so awkward with a new coworker, that I think there is no redeeming myself.
This just happened and I am TRAUMATIZED!
So I am currently in hospital and you know, bored of lying around doing nothing. So I decide to hop in the shower. While in the shower, I bent over to shave my legs, all of a sudden I hear a weird noise at the door. At first I just think maybe the room mate wanted to pee.
All of a sudden...Two nurses burst in , frantic looks in theirs eyes and asking if I was okay. I attempted to grab all my 'parts', unsuccessfullly, and yelled 'wtf,why are you in here' .
Basically, my fat ass pressed the call button, which I did not know was even in the shower, hidden behind my face cloth, went I bent over to shave my legs. Triggering the nurses to think I had injured myself in the shower and rush in.
There I stood stark naked, looking like a drowned rat with a razor in hand while the nurses had to hold back their laughter as they closed the door behind them. I am pretty sure they are recounting this story to all the nurses on duty at this very moment.
I stood for a good 5 minutes in pure shock before I promptly turned off the shower and exited the bathroom to get ready for bed. Now I am here typing this to all of you because if I tell anyone I know in real life... I will never hear the end of it.
Edit 1: Hi guys, thanks for the reassurance the nurses don't care and sharing all your nurse and doctor stories. As I've replied to some people in the comments , it was not about the nurses seeing me but about me being seen by the nurses in a somewhat vulnerable and unexpected position. Once the shock wore off it now is only funny to me not embarrassing. I know nurses see naked people all the time and much worse too, in the moment it was a shock and a genuine 'i did something silly that caused a reaction' and thus the TIFU. Appreciate all the shared expeirneces as well they have given me a chuckle!
Edit 2: yes I shave in hospital. Been here for 3 weeks and maintaining normality is important to me and also self care habits are also important to keep up regardless of where you are!
TL;DR : while I was showering at hospital, nurses burst in to the room, while I stood stark naked and confused, because I pressed the emergency call button with my fat ass by accident.
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Fuckup of the Month Winners
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May 2022 | EmpatheticApatheist | TIFU by sending a call from the International Space Station to voicemail
June 2019 | Lemiius | TIFU by performing the "Major Tom" technique and now I think I'm going to be disowned