Abrosexual here! (kinda looks like a little watermelon, ngl)
If you’re LGBT reblog and tag with your opinion on beer.
next transformers continuity i want the autobots to accidentally out themselves to earth when they realize the probe they just shook the dust off of has cameras and one day NASA wakes up to find that opportunity rover's back online and the first thing it recorded was a giant robot saying "well, fuck"
I want this to be Ironhide. But alternatively
Optimus
Gentle Dad Bot just wanted to wipe off that poor abandoned rover. The first thing humanity sees of Optimus is this bigass robot lightly patting Opportunity and saying "There you go, all clean. Oh, it started working? Ratchet look, he's alive! :D"
this is so cute ówò
Optimus becomes a meme long before he ever reaches earth.
The leaked video becomes widely known as Metal Jesus welcomes Oppy to robot heaven or something similar.
If there is a Decepticon attack and Oppy is damaged, Megatron will be globally known as Metal Satan, and the millennials and gen Z's will be mobilized against him before he ever sets foot on the planet.
ALTERNATELY
The Autobots bring Oppy onto their ship to help take care of him. He's a curious little guy! Always rolling around and picking up random objects to examine.
He quickly captures everyone's sparks.
Meanwhile the techs back at NASA are freaking out because they get to virtually explore an alien spaceship and EVERYTHING IS AMAZING!
I'm love this
"Metal Jesus" - there has never been a better description of Optimus ever
@theotherguysride
The little rover is so fragile, to a being who is used to the cold void of space, to the hostile radiations and dust clouds and ice storms between worlds.
What’s curious about this little machine is that it’s *built*. A civilization prodding gently at the secrets of their own solar system.
Optimus is *charmed and delighted* by the little thing, sending all it’s data back. Curious and gentle and it’s not really a *pet* so much as a companion. He speaks to it in its language all the time, as if it *is* a pet yes, but also.
Optimus Prime is a politician and a master of diplomacy. He’s absolutely gleefully monitoring all the internet data traffic that he can get his servos on, about this little robot and the joy of the people who built it.
This is his chance to be soft, and gentle with a fledgling species. To learn about them and their great history, no more than a single blink of Primus’ eye.
The Autobots tend to think that Optimus is kind of strange sometimes, but they do indulge him because more often than not, he’s *correct* in his strange actions.
And when they do make contact with Earth. It’s via that little robot and its friends, the ones they’ve plucked out of the dirt and ice, to be gently restored to functionality, their power sources rebuilt and their instruments retuned and their data transmission clearer than ever.
And they sing the little robot happy birthday, because it’s tradition and because this little ambassador deserves to be honored. Hello, Earth, Optimus says, his voice deep and gentle as he kneels before the little thing. “We’re the Autobots, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
(It’s not gentle, there’s plenty of bullshit in politics, but Optimus understands the politics and the people and how the two are not the same. The politicians are offered cool professionalism. The public is offered their honesty and personality and joy.)
Nasa, collectively, loses its shit.
And Opportunity sings itself Happy Birthday to a deep chorus of voices raised in the same kind of giddy exploratory love as the people who built the little drone.
(Someday, Opportunity and Curiosity will wobble their shaky way to their feet, beeping and squeaking and figuring out their voices, to say “I love you” to the people who have loved them first.)
Excuse me while I quietly implode from the wholesome
Optimus uses The Matrix on Oppy so Robot Jesus becomes even more of an apt nickname....
Ironhide gives them guns when they start asking him about this.
hey guys i made a uquiz
i want to study you all in a lab
didnt have to call me out like this
HATER
pretty sure i got hater cause i don’t like coffee and don’t have a toilet paper holder, lmao
*opens up Task Manager to find the program causing my new computer buddy distress*
“Who is it little buddy? Who do i need to get rid of??”
Map of the US by a truck driver who has seen most of it…
This is DEFINITELY someone I call an expert.
I’m desperate to know who Gary is. So I can also avoid him.
As someone from southern Wisconsin who lives in Ohio and has to make the drive past Gary frequently I wholeheartedly endorse the “avoid Gary” sentiment.
caitas-cooing asked:
"is it bad that I'll just yell plant to my brother when I'm bored" no, that's amazing. In my house we quote Lilo and stitch at each other all the time. Family bonding
movie quotes and vines is how me and my brother communicate. sometimes he’ll respond with the “IS THAT A WEED??!” vine.
but sometimes you just gotta yell “GIVE ME THE PLANT” when someone is holding a veggie.
what movie do y’all know front to back like it doesn’t even have to necessarily be Good,, it’s just something you’ve seen so many times that the dialogue is printed into the very core of your being
oops, i late today, but heres some CHONKY demiboy for y'all! LOOK AT HIM!!! <3
Western history loves to brag about their geniuses, philosophers, thinkers, and innovators throughout history but as far as I know, nobody talks about geniuses in non western history. Why can’t an Aztec community have their neighborhood Einstein who loved to study engineering and physics and helped build an efficient-running town?
Reblog is you're uncomfortable with how eurocentric our understanding of history is.
Numerous Egyptian murals: literally explain that stone blocks and large sculptures were transported using water
“Ancient Aliens” fuckos:
DEMIGIRL IS HERE!
AGENDER TODAY Y'ALL! LOOK AT THE FLOOF!!
Put your lazy meal in the tags
YOUR LAZY MEAL IS RISOTTO?? WHAT’S YOUR LAZY DESSERT, A FUCKING SOUFFLE? IS YOUR GO-TO QUICK READ WAITING FOR THE BUS THE FUCKING POETIC EDDA IN ITS ORIGINAL OLD NORSE?
RISOTTO?? ARE YOU AN ALIEN???