Wonkette Weekend Chat Begins A Cruel Summer With You

Summer’s here and while the time is usually right for dancing in the street, right now, it’s time for some seething white-hot rage directed at our Robed Masters on the Supreme Court.

Today, we’re joined by special guest law-talker Jamie Lynn Crofts. She’ll help us outline some constructive options for our post-Roe future that don’t involve “God Bless America.” If you have questions for us, please feel free to leave them in the comments and we’ll hit you back.

The chaos magic starts at 12 p.m. PT/3 p.m. ET. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe at the Wonkette YouTube-mobile.

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Burn It All Down.

Roe was overturned this morning.

It feels so quiet. It's not that there's not any noise. I can hear birds and cars and other general noises, but somehow it's still just so fucking quiet. It's very hard to not feel hopeless and hard not to wish horrible things on those who made this happen, to wish that they personally get fucked by this ruling in a thousand ways they had not previously considered, all because they were so busy getting excited about getting to force people they don't even know to give birth against their will like chattel. I am giving myself five minutes to consider these vindictive fantasies before I slap myself and remember that these horrible things will be happening to other people and that as furious as I am, I actually don't want people I despise to be forced to give birth against their will.

We knew it was coming. Not just because of the leak, we've known it's been coming for years. We've been warning about it. Screaming it from the rooftops. I've seen a thousand smug faces telling me that we're just overreacting, that this would never really happen because the Republicans need it to run on — as if they don't do perfectly well running on other kinds of hate.

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Everybody Pretty Sure Supreme Court Worthless, Illegitimate, Full Of Sh*t, Not Their Real Dad

Good morning. Will the Supreme Court enshrine Sam Alito's one-handedmisogyny scrawlings into law in the next hour and drop the ruling in Dobbs, the case that will overturn Roe v. Wade? Who knows! It's a decision day, though. (UPDATE: They did it. They fuckin' did it.)

Yay! We get to sit around and wait to see what rights we'll have at the end of the day, and which ones will go away because a bunch of partisan hacks decided their stupid garbage religious beliefs should supersede our right to live in a free society!

Democracy!

Anyway, yeah, those motherfuckers can eat shit, and according to new polling, America agrees.

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Let's Listen To Trump's Own Lawyers Tell Us How Insanely Illegal This Coup Plot Was! A LIVE-BLOG!

We're back for a fifth day of the House January 6 Select Committee hearings to 'splain Donald Trump's plot to overthrow the government and stay in power after the American people told him in no uncertain terms to get the hell out. Today's hearing will feature three of Donald Trump's own lawyers: former acting Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen, former acting Deputy Attorney General Richard Donoghue, and Steven Engel, who headed Trump's Office of Legal Counsel.

All of these guys are dyed in the wool Republicans, and all of them were totally down with the crazy shit Trump did trying to blackmail Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy the year before. Not saying that Your Wonkette wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire, but ... maybe it's best if we never test that hypothesis out, okay?

They did head off an attempted coup at the Justice Department though, so props to them for that! Here's a longer rundown, but, long story short, Jeffrey Clark, the head of the Environmental Division, tried to get the Department of Justice to announce investigations of non-existent election fraud in the swing states as a pretext for Republican-dominated legislatures to claw back Biden's electoral votes and recast them for Trump. Trump was only talked out of a plan to make Clark Attorney General — with 17 days left in his administration — and allow him to weaponize the DOJ after Rosen, Donoghue, and Engel, as well as many of their colleagues at the DOJ and in the White House Counsel's Office, threatened to resign in protest.

And, oh, hey, right on time, looks like Jeff Clark, who pled the Fifth before the committee, got his electronic devices confiscated by the FBI this morning. Also it looks like people associated with Trump's fake elector scheme in Michigan, Georgia, Nevada, and New Mexico got grand jury subpoenas from Uncle Merrick this week. Looks like it's fuck around and find out o'clock!

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History Facts

Counterpoint: Shut The F*ck Up Lauren Boebert

Idiot.

It is a day, so Lauren Boebert, a congresswoman from Colorado said some stupid shit:


"The reason we had so many overreaching regulations in our government is because the church complied. The church is supposed to direct the government, the government is not supposed to direct the church. That is not how our founding fathers intended it. And I'm tired of this 'separation of church and state' junk that's not in the Constitution, it's in a stinkin' letter, and it means nothing like what they say it does," she said to some group of assholes, don't care not looking it up.

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LGBTQ

Who's Grooming These Rightwing Creeps Who Terrify Kids At Library Story Hour?

Some people were just not brought up right.

Rightwing creeps continue to try to scare children and parents at public library story events, with at least three such incidents over the weekend. At one, outside Reno in Sparks, Nevada, a member of a small group of white supremacists protesting the event approached the library while carrying a rifle, causing parents and kids to flee inside the library. But at two other drag queen story time events, in Sacramento, California, and in the Dallas suburb of McKinney, Texas, LGBTQ and allied counter-protesters vastly outnumbered the rightwing creeps and shielded the kids from them.

As Yr Wonkette has noted, far-Right groups have taken to threatening, harassing, and planning attacks on LGBTQ people during Pride Month, following the lead of Republican Party efforts to stir up anti-LGBTQ hatred to motivate its basest voters. It's encouraging to see more people turning out to say HELL. NO.

Read More:

Right-Wing Extremist Groups Step Up Gay Bashing Game For Pride Month

Wingnuts Helpfully Threaten To Kill Police After Arrests Of Neo-Nazis Who Planned Pride Event Riot

Republicans All In On Openly Gross Gay-Hatin', For Freedom

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January 6

FBI Rips John Eastman's Phone Right Out Of His Fanny Pack Phone Holder

Jail. Now.

Well golly, it sure does seem like certain entities investigating the Trump-incited terrorist coup of January 6 have a spring in their step right now.

The House January 6 Select Committee has announced an emergency hearing for this afternoon, where it reportedly will be hearing from Mark Meadows's top aide Cassidy Hutchinson, who has testified that she had firsthand knowledge of just about everything -- from discussions of Donald Trump declaring martial law and appointing Sidney Powell as a special counsel, to the GOP congressmen who begged Trump for pardons for what they did January 6, to the criminal fake elector scheme, and everything else.

Last week, the FBI executed a predawn search on the home of Jeffrey Clark, the former DOJ clown Trump was calling "acting attorney general" in the early days of 2021, because of how he was so stupid he believed Trump's Big Lie, unlike overrated haters and losers at DOJ who didn't.

Now it turns out the FBI was doing another very hilarious thing last week, namely seizing the iPhone of coup-plotting memo author John Eastman, the notoriously batshit runner-up to World's Stupidest Trump Lawyer Ever, who steps in when Rudy Giuliani is unable to fulfill his duties because maybe somebody tapped him on the back and it sent him hurtling head-first into a coma.

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