Trust in your instructor(s). They're there to help, and will know what is expected of you, and what you should work on at your skill level.
For several months, /r/bjj would have "Technique Of The Month" threads. They focused on positions, submission, or transitions.
/u/StephanKesting has a ton of resources good for beginners on his website as well - a great starting point is his Roadmap for BJJ.
BJJ-Related Books
Non-BJJ Books
Cups are controversial, but illegal in most tournaments. They can also contribute to bad, or even dangerous technique (eg: armbars using the cup as leverage)
Cauliflower ear can happen, but it isn't a guarantee. If you are worried, wear headgear. If you get it, the best way to drain it is to see a doctor who will drain it and bolster it (use gauze and stitches to keep pressure on it). If you want to drain it yourself, there are videos and "how to's" out there. (topic suggested by stay_fr0sty)
Never ever do this, it doesn't matter if you feel basically ok, for the benefit of your teammates, nobody wants your bug/virus. It could harm your reputation if you come on the mat obviously sniffy and coughing then a few days later everyone else comes down with it. Do some cardio on your own or some solo drills if you want to train.
Many gyms offer free trials. It is often a good idea to try out several gyms before choosing one. This will give you a good idea of the gym culture and whether the instruction style matches your needs.
If you still have questions, search something like "competing for the first time" in the sidebar. This topic comes up a lot.
Don't feel bad for asking this. It is a common question. The issue stems from the thought that contact with someone of the opposite sex is typically reserved to show affection... until you start BJJ. In BJJ, contact with the opposite sex suddenly entails trying to tap them out. Hugs are a now a threat.
So how do you approach rolling with the opposite sex? The same way you would approach someone of the same sex who is her size and has her level of experience. If the woman is much smaller than you, then you roll with her the same way you would roll with a guy of her size and experience. Don't adjust your game for any other reason than your partner's size and experience. Based on the feedback that we've seen many times in /r/bjj from women, handling them too delicately is patronizing. They are there to learn how to defend against a larger opponent just like everyone else; help them reach their goal.
What if you touch a boob? Or their butt? It happens. The first couple of times might be awkward for you, but realize that they know this is going to happen. It isn't sexual in nature. It isn't anything other than incidental contact which is simply part of the process. Don't make an issue of it and just keep rolling. Want to grab her collar near her chest? Do it. Want to grab the pants at the hip for control? Do it. This all falls into the category of "treat them like a guy of their size". She is your training partner and the faster she improves, the faster you improve as a result.
See the next section for some suggestions about how to roll to the size/experience of your partner.
(topic suggested by omar_strollin)
The usual answer to this question is "just use technique". Ultimately, using pure technique is impossible: you need to use some strength to move yourself and that means you are moving your weight at a certain speed which creates momentum and pressure which is ultimately not using pure technique. Technique requires the use of strength, speed, and weight to a certain degree.
So what is the answer? The answer is usually you try not to rely on your attributes. Do you normally use your weight to pressure into people? Do you use your gumby-like flexibility to reguard? Do you use your construction-worker-of-20-years grips to break and hold posture down? When rolling with smaller people whose attributes put them at an inherent disadvantage to yours, try to not rely on your attributes like you do against people of your own size or more experience. Maybe you move a bit more instead of smashing down and hugging tight. Maybe you focus only on moving yourself through transitions instead of throwing them around.
But it isn't just about doing this on offense. If they are doing a sweep correctly and the only thing holding you up is your 4 foot tree-trunk of an arm, maybe you don't fight tooth and nail to preserve top position, let them earn the sweep, and work your defense while they work their offense. There is a fine line between being patronizing and being a good partner in this regard. That line is usually that you are active partner throughout the entire drill/roll, but not an overbearing one. If the round ends and both of you have been in top position at least once during the round and you're both exhausted, you can consider it a successful roll.
This FAQ was taken largely from /u/rand486's post: http://www.reddit.com/r/bjj/comments/20x1es/the_answers_to_every_single_6_months_of_training/
Thanks to /u/cuduck1, /u/Eagleinshoulderpads, /u/hellokhoi, /u/iamnotaseahorse and everyone else who suggested changes or additional questions & answers.
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