So many books, so little time

So, for those of you that don't know, the Shades of Magic is a book series consisting of three books. A Dark Shade of Magic, A Gathering of Shadows, and Conjuring of light. Without going into great detail (as I could not live with myself if I spoiled it for someone), the book series follows two main characters, Kell, a magician from another world, and Lilah, a thief from another world. It follows of multitude of other characters, yes, but it is primarily about them two. The world's they come from are essentially different dimensions versions of eachother. One full of magic and life, the other gray and dull, like our world.

And holy shit, I just spent like the last 15 minutes crying. I don't ever cry, I can't remember the last time I did. For context, I picked up this series mid covid pandemic, and absolutely fell in love with it. Earlier today, I finished the final book of the three part series in about a week. The entire day, I have been thinking about it non stop, infecting my mind whilst I attempt to do literally any other activity. Whilst laying here in bed, I just started bawling my eyes out. It hit me like a truck, and I just couldn't stop the tears.

This series has helped me through some of the most extreme depression I have felt in years, as I lost all my friends to covid, and had my entire social life destroyed. Without realizing it, I became so emotionally attached to every single one of these characters in the book, and it just all ended. Everything from this book, it's story, it's settings, it's characters, all of it, I feel like I just lost it all. Even now I have tears streaming down my face. Knowing that all their stories are over, that I can't keep reading on about them, losing myself in this master craft of story telling... it kills me.

I have never had a book, let alone any other form of entertainment and media, hit me this hard. Causing me to become so attached to everyone and everything in it that it illicits this sort of emotional response from me for the first time in years. Feeling like I just had a part of me ripped away, and I just don't know how to feel.

V.E Schwab is a master at her craft, and the Shades of Magic series has become my all time favorite book series. So, although you'll never see this, thank you so fucking much for this wonderful story, and indirectly helping me with some of the hardest and most isolating times in my life. It has been such an extreme pleasure reading this incredible series.