Today I Fucked Up
r/tifu
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This happened two days ago (Sunday). A friend of mine is currently on his second mission to the ISS. I saw a call come in on my iPhone and the caller ID said “Us Gov.” I first had that thought / feeling you get when the principal calls you to their office. “Crap. What did I do that I thought I got away with but maybe I didn’t?!” I was in the middle of something with a bunch of people and showed them what it said on my phone and everyone was all "Don't answer it!" Between everyone's suggestion and my gut feeling of being in trouble, I sent it to voicemail. Turns out it was my buddy calling from SPACE. I had a chance to speak to someone that wasn't on Earth and screwed it up. First thing he said in the voicemail was “You probably saw a call from Us Gov and turned it down.” I know he’ll call again, but damn I feel like an idiot right now.
TL;DR My buddy called me from the Iinternational Space Station and the caller ID said “Us Gov” so I sent it to voicemail and missed a call from space.
So almost one month ago (this isn't the TIFU part although it was a FU) I was cutting zip ties at work and one of the zip ties had been pulled so tight that I couldn't get scissors underneath of it. (In hindsight I should have grabbed pliers to break the cinch part but such is life) Anyways, I pulled out my pocket knife and was able to get the blade enough into the zip tie to cut it. I was pushing the blade as much as I could while trying to be careful but it wasn't working so I decided to quickly adjust my grip with my non cutting hand, which then caused the knife to slide through the tie like butter. The blade stopped at the bone in my left hand index finger. I immediately went over to medical on base and our flight surgeon gave me stitches.
Fast forward... Today I had an appointment for occupational therapy since something internal to the finger isn't healing properly. My range of motion and strength with the finger is extremely limited. Mind you this is my first time at OT and the Navy nurse assessing me was extremely professional and helpful through the assessment. She determined that I need an MRI and that until then I would do "finger exercises" to try to help strengthen it.
Well, then she starts reaching into drawers and pulling items out and placing them on the table. First, she pulls out what looks like a wooden nerf dart with a rubber tip. It's essentially a "foam roller" for the scar tissue in my finger. Then she pulls out a jar of putty, and explains how I will do different exercises with the putty...interesting... Well then she grabs a sleek and slender box from the cabinet.
The label of the box is covered by her hand while she holds it and continues to talk about it. "I want you to use this 3 times a day, it doesn't matter when, you can use it at work, at home, etc." She sets the box down on the table and I immediately see that the box says in big bold letters across the label: "Mini Vibrator"...
Mind you, internally I am doing everything I can in my power to be an adult, but externally my eyebrows and eyelids reach their max apogee and the nurse notices this, and she quickly looks away. Thankfully, you have to wear a mask in the hospital so she can't see my mouth. I, now greatly confused, slowly grab the box.
She continues talking about the "mini vibrator."
"So when ever you want to use your vibrator, I want you to push firmly but not too hard."
My head is frozen, but my eyes are beginning to dart around the room, as if I'm looking to see if anyone else is hearing this..
"You want it to feel good, but not hurt."
Trying my best to remain professional...
So I basically just snapped at my boss today. I have been really stressed out lately, I have a ton of work, the AC in the office breaks down, he was being rude, he was being an asshole, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
I grabbed my keyboard and smashed it against the wall, while asking him if he ever learned to be polite or if he ever learned some manners. So, of course I was yelling and an awkward silence just took over the office. Nobody said a peep. Not even him. His eyes peeled like unexpected and I just stormed out of there.
I'm usually a very chill guy, 35 years old, never picking fights with anybody, I hang out with my coworkers, we drink beer, I help out in the community. I don't know what came over me.
I received a call from upper management, a few minutes ago, saying that they would like to speak to me in person tomorrow. So I don’t know what will happen, and if anybody has ever felt like this before and what do you do in this kind of situation? I really can’t lose my job.
EDIT: Great news everyone! yeah, no. I got canned.
So they basically gave me two options. I could keep my job, but would need to apologize, take AM sessions, also see a regular stress therapist and take a few days off, etc. etc. After that, they had no choice but to tighten things up a bit with me, you know, as a precaution for the safety of everyone. I absolutely cannot get a promotion now and some other restrictions would be put in place.
They interviewed those nearby and nobody felt threatened, but they did feel uncomfortable. We reviewed the CCTV footage and I did not throw the keyboard at anybody, it was just a wall and minor damage occurred. They told me that I didn't had to pay for that, not to worry about liability or anything like that. They brought up my manager and said they had been receiving some complaints for a while. Just nobody did anything. Last time I saw him, he was receiving counsel as well. Not sure what they said to him.
As for me, the other option was to leave. I felt like I was being relegated. I got the vibe that they were trying to tell me, "if can´t handle the job, we will find someone who can". I have to decide by today, but after talking to friends and family and reading Reddit. I think it´s time to find something new.
Just to clarify, the AC was not the main issue here, it was certainly a contributing factor, I would not go AWOL because I was hot, no. It was the pressure, sum of a thousand little things that just, happened to blow up right there and then.
Also, for those of you asking, I´m an analyst. I do data analysis for an insurance company. Or was, not anymore.
TL;DR - TIFU by drinking milk that I didn't know was expired, and I shit myself. While wearing a dress.
This should be a throwaway account but it's been a shit day and I'm tired. No pun intended.
So today, I had a presentation in person with one of my accounts. I love it, let's do this, I'm pumped. I normally make my own coffee because I'm tired of paying Starbucks, so I make myself a handy little latte as I'm getting ready because it's after noon, I'm already tired, and I want to be PUMPED for this meeting.
So I put my cute dress on because generally I WFH and I wanted to dress up and look nice, I jump in the car, and I drive to their office building. I take a sip of my coffee, and I think....hmmmm. When is the expiration date on the milk? May 26th, right? I swear it was the 26th. Why does it taste slightly off? I'm sure it's fine. It's fine! I chug it down because I want the energy of 16 energizer bunnies running through my veins.
I keep driving, and about 15 minutes later my stomach starts to feel a little upset. I think - all good, probably just the stress due to driving to a new place in downtown and wanting to be on time (directional skills are not...one of my skills).
I get there and get to the front desk 15 minutes early, woo! I ask the lady at the front desk if there is a restroom. She says no and that they have to buzz me into the office to get to the restroom. Alllll good, I say.
My point of contact comes to get me, I forget about having to go to the bathroom because I'm in my "omg it's so nice to meet you, hi how are you please buy our products" mode. I do my presentation with my sales partner, it goes fantastically, and I don't even remember that my stomach was upset.
They go to walk me out, they asked if I needed to use the restroom, and I SAID NO. And this is the first part of my f/u. I think to myself, I don't even need to go anymore! I crushed this meeting! I am invincible!
I get into the car, and as soon as I sit, my stomach starts to hurt again. All good, I think. 23 minutes to home, I can do that.
17 minutes, starting to feel it become more urgent.
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May 2019 | /u/Taway1234123491121 | TIFU: I have officially branded myself as the biggest perv... and I 100% deserve it...