My dad has a massive vegetable garden and it is his life. Whenever I ask how things are going, he tells me about the garden. Periodically he will text me a picture of the things he’s harvested and ask when I’m coming to pick them up. And for a while, the biggest bit of garden gossip has been his nemesis, the gopher. This gopher was consistently ruining his day by pilfering the best of everything just before my dad could harvest it. Anytime I talked to him, all he had to tell me about was “that damned gopher.” He dreamt about killing the gopher, his truest enemy. He tried to train the dog to hunt the gopher, but the dog is a pacifist. He led some of the barn cats to the holes, but the barn cats have unionized and refused his offered rate. He then laid no-kill traps (can’t risk having poison near the crops) with eventual gophercide in mind, but then suddenly he was faced with a cute and terrified animal and didn’t have the heart. He released it. “He was so scared, he’ll never come back.” The gopher was back the next day, with a vengeance. That was some weeks ago. Today, my dad sent me pictures of his garden, and I saw a squash gently laid by the gopher’s hole, like a package left on the doorstep. I said “Dad, what’s that squash doing there by the gopher hole?” He said “Oh, he likes squash best.” In an effort to appease the gopher, my father now gives him a little squash everyday, like leaving an offering for a garden spirit. This apparently works well as a compromise; the gopher has stopped stealing, content to have his meals delivered to his door.
its dope how like once a month some evidence comes to light that theres terfs on the staff team here and everyone cares about it for like a week and then we all forget because its marginally better than moving to twitter and paying room and board to the fucking panopticon
i love technology i love the way that the internet now is a grotesque and completely unrecognizable derivation of the internet i used ten years ago
in the vein of “this meeting could have been an email,” please consider: “this discord server could have been a newsletter.”
“before you can start receiving development updates, please figure out how to navigate our in house bot system in order to assign yourself a pronouns role, and make sure to read our rules! why do we have an oddly specific rule about sexual harassment? don’t worry about it! aren’t you ready to interact with 800 other people whose soul commonality with you is a passing interest in the same video game?!”
