nerviovago:

(via riotdyke)

1rakus:

i think about this a lot

(via riotdyke)

evilwizard:

evilwizard:

evilwizard:

evilwizard:

tumblr SHIELD. for 3 bucks a month, whenever a blaze post would appear on your dash, a pre-loaded post of yours instead appears on the dashboard of the person who tried to blaze you

tumblr BLAST. for 5 bucks a month, whenever a blaze post of yours would be blocked by tumblr shield, it instead appears in all caps at the top of the shielded person’s dashboard for an hour and flashes violently whenever they try to block it

tumblr POSSESS. for 200$ a day you can post using another person’s blog, though you cannot change their blog in any other way nor delete their previous posts. at the end of the day they receive half of the 200 dollars

tumblr TRUE SIGHT. for 6$ monthly you can see when a blog is possessed. tumblr SCRY. for 30$ a day you can read other blogs’ private messages

tumblr POWER WORD KILL. for a one time payment of 6,666 bucks, you can delete another blog entirely. tumblr notifies all of that blog’s mutuals that you killed them. each user can only use this feature once, and thereafter loses the ability to use any of the other tumblr spells. you must have been a user for at least 10 years to use this feature

tumblr UNDENIABLE SUMMONS. for 35$ you enchant a blog such that they cannot post again until they answer your ask. alternatively, you can simply set a price point of your choosing which they will receive if they choose to answer the ask (though they are not obligated to)

tumblr ENTHRALL. for 4$ a month you can use gifs as your icon again

tumblr FAMILIAR. for 5$ a month, you summon a small, cute familiar—such as a crab, snail, owl or frog—which can carry small messages onto your mutuals’ dashboards for you. owning a familiar also protects you from being tumblr POSSESSed by anyone but your own mutuals

tumblr REFLECT. for a one time payment of 100 dollars, the next time someone attempts to use POWER WORD KILL on you, they are deleted instead. there is no way of knowing whether someone has this feature active

(via satansbra)

hogmilked:

nommads:

dfwm:

boyboobs:

jokeboy:

balls

cock

boobs

ass

long ago the four nations lived together in harmony

(via satansbra)

headspace-hotel:

so mad that our takeaway from the mask thing hasn’t been “wait, so we could have been getting like 80% fewer colds and viruses this entire time?”

(via satansbra)

saintends:

corporateaccount:

corporateaccount:

ginopizza:

Begging everyone on the internet to stop smoothing out their middle aged men and draw wrinkles for the love of god I promise it’s so fun you’ll love it Come into my wine cellar

no.

Did you just DeWalt my fucking white

(via satansbra)

maxknightley:

averyterrible:

i have not addressed this before, but i feel it necessary to finally speak my truth: i hate all of you for constantly subjecting me to pictures of Robert Downey Jr., even as a “joke”

(via satansbra)

ifightformyfriends:

itsaarnie:

strongbowdarkfruit:

tilthat:

TIL The chances of us eating even one spider in our sleep throughout our lifetime is close to 0%

via reddit.com

did something happen to Spiders Georg

R.I.P. Spiders George 2013-2017

He was an outlier. But he counted.

(via satansbra)

roach-works:

longjump506:

euryalus:

spokenitalics:

analphebetapolothology:

I am an old person and tumblr is the porch

@ mutuals this is how i see us

me and my mutuals

Literally anyone on still on here from 2012 or earlier

me and the mutuals watching staff at work

(via satansbra)