Angry Parents Of Ohio: UNICORNS ARE GAYYYYYYYYY
The Buckeye Valley School Board held an emergency meeting Friday at which pretty much all the speakers actually supported Tharp and the unicorn book. Kay Brazelton, who works at one of the district's elementary schools, said she and coworkers were told to take down kids' artwork related to the book.
“I was simply confused and people were taking stuff down and…they said we had to take anything down with unicorns and rainbows,” Brazelton said.
Interim Superintendent Jeremy Froehlich — who doesn't seem cheerful to us at all — told WBNS-TV that a parent had expressed concerns about the book, and that the parent "just wanted to make sure that we vetted the book and our staff thought that they had vetted it,” and no, Froelich didn't explain why a single complaint led to Tharp's being told not to read his books to children or kids' pictures being Fahrenheit 451ed. He also doesn't appear to have said how the book would be vetted or when it might be safe for Tharp to read his filth to innocent children, if ever.
Tharp said he attended the school event anyway, and that he made no mention of either book, adding that he was disappointed kids missed out on his usual presentation, which hasn't previously led to any controversy. Probably because parents never before noticed that clearly gay unicorn on the cover before.
TV station WSYX said it had received several tips from people who believed Unicorn was promoting gayness, because the cover has rainbow lettering and unicorns are gay, they just are. After all, there were no homosexuals in America prior to Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers, this is a known fact.
The story is about a unicorn haberdasher, Cornelius J. Sparklesteed, who hides his horn under various hats he makes, because all the horses in his town have weird prejudices against unicorns. Cornelius has lots of friends, and at the town's annual festival, he wows everyone with his dance moves, then removes his hat, revealing that he actually is a unicorn. After a moment of confusion, everyone CHEERS, realizing that if someone as wonderful as Cornelius is a unicorn, then clearly they were wrong, and they even start wearing fake unicorn horns for fun.
Here's a nice video from the Benicia, California, Public Library, with children's librarian "Caroline" reading the book, with permission from the publisher, Macmillan:
Well gosh, if that's not a very sneaky story trying to propagandize children into coming out as gay, then what else could it possibly be?
Also, so freaking what if it were a coming out fable, because the story also works just fine as a parable of
- Someone revealing to their Baptist parents that they're dating someone who's Jewish
- A music fan telling all their metalhead friends that they like free jazz
- A My Little Pony fan bravely admitting they think Applejack is Best Pony, however wrong that may be
- Anyone acknowledging anything they're not sure others are going to accept
In fact, just about the only thing it couldn't be about would be a conservative bravely revealing their politics to their liberal friends, because everyone knows The Left would react not with love and tolerance, but by cancel culturing such a person. Or by brutally murdering them and eating their corpse live on MSNBC, as Rachel Maddow smiles approvingly from her Throne of Doom.
Or maybe it's an even more general message about self-acceptance, as Tharp explained to WBNS:
“I think a book can save people cause it saved me when I was a kid,” Tharp said. “I got lost in books, and it taught me that it was okay to be creative, and it was okay to think different, and so that was what my mission was with this book was just to write something that helped kids understand it is good that you’re different than me, and it is good because we can learn something from each other. And a unicorn’s the best way to do it because kids love unicorns.”
The TV station points out that Tharp is a straight man who is married, presumably to a straight woman, as though that were any defense for his dangerous promotion of the idea that differences are good.
“I’m not here to entertain adults that want to project their own whatever issues onto a children’s book, I’m here to create books that inspire kids to dream big, embrace themselves, understand the importance of self-kindness, to really learn how to manage your emotions because it’s a confusing world we live in, and being a human is not easy,” he said. “If an adult is struggling, that’s what therapy’s for, not my kids’ books, and I hope that maybe even my kids’ books might inspire some adults, but they’re meant for the child to figure themselves out, just be a tool, that’s it.”
We feel compelled to point out what radical, un-American stuff that is. Messages of cooperation and kindness teach children to be weak. The real way to thrive is to defeat your enemies and rivals by any means available, because if you don't, they'll grind you into the dust. America is about winning, not a lot of pajama-boy soy-drinking unicorn-rainbow "I accept myself" crap. After all, no less an expert on America than Tucker Carlson has derided the notion of diversity, since anyone knows that cultural cohesion comes from similarity, not difference.
Read More: Tucker Carlson Dreams Of Room Filled Entirely With Tucker Carlsons
We urge the good God-fearing parents of Ohio or Delaware or Brigadoon or wherever they are to keep an eye on this divisive pro-unicorn propaganda. Decent, proud, hardworking horses already have a culture and a nation. Tharp's book clearly pushes the Great Hooved Replacement, in which effete homosexual unicorns will infiltrate and overwhelm the horses who built America, leaving the nation ripe for the plucking.
Ah, but who's behind all this?
Princess Celestia, of course. She's been plotting this for ages.
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GOP Senate Candidate Devastated Dee Snider No Longer Represents 'Traditional Conservative Values'
Republicans have had their panties in a bunch lo the past few weeks over the fact that Twisted Sister singer Dee Snider endorsed the use of his song "We're Not Gonna Take It" for the Ukrainian people but not for the ridiculous anti-maskers who used it as background music for their invasion of a Florida Target.
Of course, to be fair, they've been riled up about Snider for a long time, both those who panicked when they thought he was an evil androgynous Satanic influence on their children back in the 1980s and those who for some reason were confused and thought he was a conservative Republican — the latter of the two actually managing to be more hilarious.
Former NASCAR driver and current Washington Senate candidate Jerrod Sessler expressed his disappointment on Twitter today upon learning that Snider is, as he says, "riding the train in the wrong direction." We can assume that this means that he's liberal.
"Bummed to learn that @deesnider, the man with the perfect song written decades ago about the attack on traditional, conservative American values… “We’re Not Gonna Take It” is riding the train in the wrong direction. How could it be that he sang for us but now fights for them?" he tweeted, like a person who definitely knows who Dee Snider is and what that song was about.
The absolute drama of "How could it be that he sang for us but now fights for them?" is really what kills it here.
Like he actually heard that song, including the lyrics and everything, and thought "Yes, this is a man fighting for and not against traditional conservative values?"
Just to review:
We've got the right to choose it
There ain't no way we'll lose it
This is our life, this is our song
We'll fight the powers that be just
Don't pick our destiny 'cause
You don't know us, you don't belong
We're not gonna take it
Oh no, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore
Oh, you're so condescending
Your gall is never ending
We don't want nothin', not a thing from you
Your life is trite and jaded
Boring and confiscated
If that's your best, your best won't do
Did he see the video?
Twisted Sister - We're Not Gonna Take It (Official Music Video) www.youtube.com
Snider responded by laughing hysterically at the idea that he was promoting traditional conservative values.
Sessler then explained that he believed that God could send special messages through people whether they knew it or not, and that God used him, Dee Snider, to send a message to Conservative Republicans with traditional values.
"Do you think the folks that wrote the Bible knew that God was writing through them? I doubt it. I believe God can even use @deesnider and his hair for good! BTW - nice flag #AmericaFirst," he responded, citing two things that are not remotely true.
So basically, Sessler is so desperate to feel like he and his fellow Traditional Conservative Republicans are cool and edgy that he's going to tell Dee Snider what his song means and assert that the only way it is "good" is if it holds the meaning he erroneously believes it has. Nice.
Truly, there are few Culture War genres more enjoyable than "Republicans Disappointed To Find Out Their Favorite Musicians Hate Them" and "Republicans Not Understanding Art" — a personal favorite being "Republicans Disappointed In Rage Against The Machine Getting Political All Of A Sudden."
DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS
Also, Trump supporter draped in Blue Lives Matter song lip-syncing and dancing to Killing In the Name Of.
Trump supporters dancing to Rage Against The Machine, clearly clueless about the song lyrics www.youtube.com
Perhaps someday more of them can stop reappropriating other people's work and then getting mad when it turns out those people don't support their politics and instead pick up a damn musical instrument themselves. Preferably a woodwind, as it is difficult to bloviate about culture war nonsense while also blowing into a clarinet.
Or, you know, they can stick to Pat Boone.
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Trump's White House Photographer Planned A Book, But Donald Wanted A Piece Of The Action
Hilariously, when the Times requested comment from Trumpland, Trump spokesperson Taylor Budowich explained it was all perfectly fine — he didn't even dispute that Trump had wanted a cut of the advance in exchange for writing a foreword. Most importantly, Budowich emphasized that Trump's book was way better and classier than anything that peon photographer could have come up with:
Instead, Mr. Budowich said, Mr. Trump decided to first do his own book, a separate deal that came with a much bigger, multimillion-dollar advance.
“President Trump has always had an eye for beautiful and engaging curation, which came alive through the pages of his book,” he said in a statement.
And just to make sure nobody got any big ideas about taking the emphasis off the Great Man, the book itself, titled Our Journey Together, doesn't bother with trivialities like photo credits, because who cares anyway? Craighead's name appears only on the last page of the book, although the bulk of the photos were taken by her. She should be very grateful that the book thanks the unimportant nobodies who took the pictures, and even graciously calls them "all the phenomenal White House photographers,” so shut up, there's your name in a list there.
Mind you, Craighead herself wasn't about to criticize Trump; instead, she told the Times she didn't want to comment on any former client, although she also has decided to drop her own plans for a book, at least for the time being.
“I stay apolitical as possible, as I am a neutral historical documentarian,” she said. “By staying neutral I am able to remain a keen observer.”
Translation: Please let me move on from that shitshow with at least some shreds of my dignity.
The Times notes that while previous presidents have used White House photographers' work in their own memoirs, Trump "appears to have become the first former president to try to make money from a book planned by a former White House photographer," according to documentarian John Bredar, who knows stuff about the White House photography game.
Pete Souza, Obama White House Archive
We also learn that while most previous White House photographers had cordial relationships with presidents — think of Pete Souza's skill at capturing Barack Obama's basic decency and occasional goofiness — Craighead only got the job after Trump's first pick "fell through," which we'll assume means the photographer knew how Trump treats anyone working for him and noped out.
And instead of having most White House photographers' full access, Craighead was very much treated as a flunky. These are just about the saddest, most infuriating two paragraphs in the Times story:
Mr. Trump at times would say insulting things about Ms. Craighead, telling other White House guests that he questioned her skills as a photographer, surprising other White House officials and photographers present.
Mr. Trump, former White House aides said, was intensely involved in selecting photos of himself that would be released to the public, with [former press secretary Stephanie] Grisham recalling how during long flights on Air Force One, he often set aside time to review folders of photographs, after demanding that they be first printed so he could hold them, and pick winners one at a time.
Honestly, Ms. Craighead should probably just thank her lucky stars that, as an employee of the White House, she actually got paid, which is more than a lot of people who've worked for Trump can say.
Read More: Deadbeat Donald Trump: A Cheap Sociopath Who Doesn't Pay His Bills, Bet You Didn't See That Coming
Also too, the story notes that, after the Times contacted Mar-a-Gulago for comment on the photo book, Trump very generously called Craighead for the first time since he left office.
Mr. Trump told her he was still prepared to write a foreword for a photo book they could do together in the future, Mr. Budowich said.
“It would be fun to do so,” Mr. Trump told her.
The Times didn't report whether Trump also offered to let Craighead keep a small cut of the profits from any such venture.
[NYT / Photo: Shealah Craighead, Trump White House Archive on Flickr]
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