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r/self
3
I'm 45, single female, heart disease. I'm dead in 18 months, will get very sick in a year or so.
Never married, no kids, one cat.
I'm no Chloe, there's no desperation here. I'm very lucky to see the end coming. Most never do.
3Long story short an elderly man I know lost his wife. His wife was the last family member he had.
He ended up in the hospital it was a suicide attempt but he calls it an accident. None of us believe him.
So a group of people I call friends and I decided we'd make this old man family. We all shared turns inviting him to do things. Like this week he came over and had dinner with my family and we had a few beers together.
I asked him if he'd be willing to be my sons adopted Grandpa, he said yes and we taught my son to call him Opa. My son is 15 months old so it was cute having my son call him Opa.
On Wednesday he has a coffee date with a buddy of mine. Two my friends wives have agreed to come to his house a few times a week and help clean up and cook for him.
Today he sent the most heart warming text
"I've never felt so loved, you all give me purpose, thank you"
He sent to us as a group there are 8 of us.
Parents really need to start considering whether their kid is mature enough to drive without adult supervision before slapping a license and a pair of keys on their hand. Iโm tired of watching these little assholes flooring their vehicle mommy and daddy paid for out of the high school parking lot like itโs the fucking Daytona 500. When they inevitably kill themselves and some innocent people on other vehicles, people will be boohooing into the news like this couldnโt possibly have been prevented. Most of these kids very clearly are not mature enough to operate a multi-ton metal death trap on wheels and have no respect for the rules of the road that are there to keep themselves and others safe. And yet, itโs a right of passage to get a license, whether theyโre ready for it or not. Itโs bullshit. Yes, itโs difficult to get around with no vehicle here (I should know) but thatโs too damn bad. If you donโt have any more respect than to not come out of a high school parking lot doing 60, you donโt deserve to drive.
Hello all. I guess my question is pointed more towards girls and their prespective, but guys please feel welcome to share your experiences too, as I need them. So I have a quick question. I am pretty sure what the answer might be, but still. So a couple weeks back I met a girl. Did not know much about her. She's nice, wholesome and everything. She found me and added me on FB 3 days after we've met. 2 days after that I sent her a message , she responded quickly (like in 2-3 mins time), we started chating for about 2 hours and after that we've agreed to go for a drink. We had a nice evening and stuff. She thanked me for the good time and seemed that she really means it. A couple of days pass, we are writing back and forth, she seemed genuinly interested and a couple of times thanks me for the good times she's having (and I mean like genuine good times not intercourse :D). I gave her a day or so rest, like afterall she has her personal life too and is not obligated to keep in touch with me 24/7. Last thursday night I sensed that something was off and said to her - no pressure but I feel something's off with you. If you need any support, just lmk. She left me on read and then the morning after wrote - sorry I really was not okay so I went to sleep.
Next day, Friday she stopped responding all of a sudden. She said that she was expecting a busy day at work. I said like text me if you need anything. She left me on delivered. On sunday I also wrote her a message like hey how are you, how's it going - yepp still no response.
However, during all the time she is still posting on social media, like uploading stories and what not. She was also out clubbing on Friday, then on Monday uploaded a story from the other side of the country. So I guess she ghosted me.
Frankly I am 27 and never have been ghosted before. All my previous interactions with girls have had some kind of closures. Like I understand that she's successful, looks pretty and can have any guy she wants, but it would not hurt to let me know, even if over text - hey this is not going to work out. Good luck. Am I right? Am I missing something big from the puzzle?
Another funny thing is that she has not blocked me on socials yet. I would assume that if she has gosted me, she would remove me from friends so as to not bother her in future. Or maybe she's just kind enough to do it after some time so it does not seem so harsh :D
Anyway, I decided to let her have her time and not bother her in case she needs it. How much time is like appropriate to wait? Maybe 2-3 weeks and another text?
I await your replies. Thank you so much in advance.
You have every right to keep toxic people out of your life, regardless of their relationship to you.
It doesn't matter if it's your blood family, your coworkers, or a friend. If they're toxic, you have every right to kick them out of your world.
And it's more than a right. It's an obligation to your own mental health. Toxic people make you feel like shit. Why keep around people like that?
'But they're family!". So? That's not enough justification to keep a person around. You deserve people in your life who add to the positive thoughts and feelings. You deserve better than toxic people.
An apology without changes in behavior is just hot air.
Let's say you know someone who makes comments about something you're self conscious about. You confront them. They apologize. And a few days later they're back to making the same comments.
That's not genuinely acknowledging how you feel hurt and trying to rectify it. That's pacifying you until they can go back to their chosen behavior.
Is that really someone who deserves to be in your life?
Treat yourself at least as good as you treat strangers.
Are you more forgiving and understanding with strangers than with yourself? Why are you holding such unrealistic expectations for yourself?
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