this past Saturday. Naturally I spent most of my time in the Arms and Armor collection, and I must say, since I haven’t been to the collection since I started this blog, it was interesting seeing many of the artifacts I’ve since seen and admired online in a different light.
Most of the pictures I’ll had here (there are 19) are of artifacts I have posted before, but now I get to share them with you in their display.
Like this beautiful bastard, which I think both @peashooter85 and I have posted before
and this Rennzeug jousting armor.
I have never posted the famous display of mounted armor before, so here it is from the front (though I have posted individual elements from it before.)
This Burgonet, which is a real beauty, I believe I posted quite some time ago, so most people that are following me probably haven’t seen it on my blog.
Equally, this suit of blue and gilt armor that belonged to George Clifford, third Earl of Cumberland is something that I posted to my blog quite a long while ago,
as are these two (quite famous) armors that belonged to King Henry VIII.
I also felt the need to take a picture of the Maximilian armor pictured below because it is massive. I mean just look at the size of the thing compared to the armor next to it, my god that man must have been huge!
A famous English tournament helm
or two
and a collection of rapiers/side swords that caught my eye
and then we saw the stunning sword of Prince Elector Christian II of Saxony, which I’m certain many of you will recognize.
This Sallet was in and amongst the Muslim artifacts despite being from Spain due to the massive influence the Moorish conquest of Spain had on that culture.
I know that I have posted this Tulwar and all three of these beautiful daggers before,
and I certainly recognize these two Indian beauties, as I’m sure some of you do as well.
A 14th century Japanese Yoroi,
a mid 15th century Bohemian Pavise,
a beautiful 5th-7th century Germanic Spangenhelm that I actually never remember seeing,
and we close out with this monstrosity, the infamous and godless fabrication of Dr. Bashford Dean.
Obviously there were a great number more artifacts on display than this, but I chose to photograph and post some of the more famous, interesting, and familiar ones.
I hope this has been an entertaining and refreshing post. Cheers!
Since people often ask “Alright, well this is fantasy! Why can’t we have boob shapes in plate armor?!“ I decided to make a post about it. My frustration has nothing to do with historical inaccuracy and I’m all for imagination and freedom– but I’d like to (very quickly) illustrate this for you:
I purposely over-emphasized the shape of the two spheres in the armor so you can really think about this.
Look at the shape of the blue cups and the green line, think about the form of that on some beautiful ornate plate armor. A female warrior is charging into battle. In the midst of this, she trips! Or is pushed over, or takes a blow to the chest! So long as the force is on the front of her torso it really doesn’t matter for the conclusion:
She feels a sharp pain in her chest and hears the cracking of bone! Oh no, what’s gone wrong? Well she doesn’t have time to think about that, because she is now dead.
Her sternum just fractured, take another look at that green line, that’s where all of the pressure from any front impact is going to go because of the shape of the two blue cups made for her breasts. The rest of the armor slides around your body, but because of the two cups for breasts that are often made in fantasy female armors, the pressure point is directly on the sternum. The breasts are not going to stop the force of you falling onto them, and because of that the metal is going to push in and bash you in the sternum.
What does a fractured sternum do? Why it goes right into your heart and lungs of course.
(that was the sound of all of my followers inhaling a sharp breath between closed teeth at once)
Here are three great solutions to the problem:
GREAT EXAMPLE OF FANTASY TORSO ARMOR THAT IS FEMININE BUT FUNCTIONAL:
It is usually possible to bind the breasts when fighting if they really are far too large to fit into regular looking armor (there’s padding anyway), but most women can actually fit into a similarly sized male counterpart’s armor quite easily. Even if that’s the case, the armor can be made to have a curve to it without putting all of the pressure in one area, which was actually a style of armor for quite some time as shown here:
And don’t even get me started on the dreaded “Cleavage Window”
The “Cleavage Window” defeats the purpose of having any armor on your torso because it means you’re just going to be leaving open the vital organs the rest of the armor is trying to protect.
If people are going to protect themselves and not have much torso protection, invest in some blocking lessons, because the best defense is to not get hit at all. There are also advantages to not having plate armor, and plate armor was often really expensive anyway.
I’d also like to add that boob bulges direct blows straight to the sternum as well, rather than making them glance to either side. Good post.
but how else can you sexualize the women if you don’t give them armored boob pods!!!!
Also, breastplates are shaped to redirect the tip of a sword or spear to the side. Boobplates would redirect the weapon right into the middle of the woman’s chest.
The DA version has the nipples, fyi. I just had to censor them here in some other way - we wouldn’t want american children to learn stuff about humanoid anatomy, would we? (idk, man, idk. Grow up, America)
How do you make such great skin texture in photoshop? I've tried a couple times and it just turns out looking... wrong. Any tips on painting human skin textures?
Answer:
I do it like this:
First I start with some base colors.
Then I add scribbles.
Then I add more scribbles, and maybe change the layer to overlay or something so it’s more translucent.
Then I blur everything. Or smudge it. Depending on what will look best.
And then I repeat, using a smaller and softer brush as I go. Until I get something that looks like this:
You can also add noise and blur it that way:
But I don’t like noise layers that much because the undertones are always changing, and it’s harder to color. I’d rather just paint the undertone.
That’s really it, though. It’s a controlled scribble.
I use the same technique for stubble, leather, and metal, too. Like a suit of armor? I do it the same way:
You can see my scribbles on Richard’s armor and his leather sleeve.
I like to imagine that all of these helmets have the wings and that only when the person wearing it is surprised do they pop out to their full glorious span.
I’m afraid you are wrong. The wings pop out when a guard is courting another guard! It’s their courting ritual.
Are you impressed, Citadel Captain? I have strutted back and forth before thee thrice, flapping each wing alternately and also puffing up my impressive throat poach, to better indicate my virility. I have also brought thee these pebbles, which are most shiny. Perhaps you would like to hear a song about my boner? *suggestive warbling*
Guard Guidelines:
It is absolutely forbidden to nest on the white tree. All transgressor will be severely punished.
No songs about your amorous proclivities while on duty.
No singing on duty in general. You may find it odd, but it kind of ruins our reputation of fierce warriors.
Bragging about your pebbles while on duty is not only rude but also strictly forbidden.
If you want to seduce another guard, please be discreet about it and do it in your off-duty time.
Having wings attached to your helm doesn’t mean you can fly and we are not looking forward to cleaning your remains from the roofs of lower levels.
Suddenly popping your wings out in public is tasteless, embarrassing and frowned upon.
Lord Faramir is a married man and Lady Eowyn is famous for two things: her prowess in battle and her disgusting pigeon stew. We warned you.
Moreover Beregond didn’t hesitate to kill two guards in order to protect his Lord once, and the fact he should be exiled from Minas Tirith doesn’t mean he won’t get you.
Queen Arwen is a married womanelf Lady, moreover the fact King Elessar doesn’t go around showing his wings doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them, it is just testament to his his politeness.
Yes, Rohirrim tend to freak out when you pop your wings, therefore it will neither help you seducing one of them nor it will be funny to do so in their presence.
Having been appointed Fountain Guard in no excuse for constantly showing your wingspan to the whole city.
