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Transgender is an umbrella term that is inclusive of, but not limited to (nor forced upon), trans women, trans men, non-binary people, genderfluid people, genderqueer people, agender people, and anyone who doesn't identify as the gender assigned to them at birth.
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Hey, I have a problem. I’m transgender and I used to bind my chest in some less-than-healthy ways. This caused severe chest pain and shortness of breath, that I still experience now even though I haven’t bound in years. I’ve seen a doctor about it, and went to the ER over it a year or two later, and I have another appointment scheduled in a couple months. So far, nobody has given me a way to treat it, or even a solid diagnosis. I’ve been told it looks similar to costochondritis but that’s it, nothing more specific.
My questions are:
How do I find a way to possibly get an actual diagnosis?
If it’s actually not something we have a name for, how do I treat it?
How do I convince myself it’s okay to call myself disabled even though I don’t have a diagnosis, not even a self-dx
Thank you!
Oh, that sounds very sucky, and doctors are really terrible about more niche chronic conditions. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!
I’m afraid I don’t have specific advice about this issue, but I’m hoping our readers do. Does anyone have experiences to share?
Some more general advice from my experience, under the cut:
I haven't seen this answered before, but I apologize if this has been asked already. I've seen a lot of people say that they started testosterone at a low dose, but their dose is way higher than mine, and I'm confused about dosage levels? I've seen "low dose" being described as being around 20-50ml by some people and 200ml by another person. I've been on t for six months and I'm only at 0.3ml? I thought that was a normal starting dose, but now I'm confused. Is my dose abnormally low or...?? I plan on asking my doctor about it, but I won't be able see them for a few weeks, so I was hoping you might be able to clear things up a little until then.
Lee says:
200 mL of testosterone is definitely not a dose that people can take.
Imagine someone trying to inject the contents of this water bottle! You’d need an IV infusion!
[Image description: A mini-water bottle being held be Lee. It says that it contains 8 fluid ounces of water which is equivalent to 273 mL. /End ID]
Even taking 20-50 mL of testosterone isn’t possible.
Most people on weekly testosterone injections are injecting less than 1 mL because that is the amount that’s typically safe and comfortable for someone to self-inject with.
Large-volume injections of 3 mL or greater are rare, and are not typically not administered in an outpatient setting.
0.2 mL is different than 2.0 mL is different than 20.0 mL. So when we start talking about doses, remember that the decimal point is really important!
Anway, moving on!
If you told me that you’re taking 0.3 mL of testosterone, and I told you that I’m also taking 0.3 mL of testosterone, you might assume that we’re taking the same dose.
But the frequency of testosterone injections will affect dose comparisons!
If you’re injecting 0.3 mL of testosterone subcutaneously every week but I’m injecting 0.3 mL of testosterone every other week, that means that my dose is half of yours because I’m on the equivalent of 0.15 mL weekly.
In the USA, most people doing testosterone shots are doing a subcutaneous T injection once a week, or doing an intramuscular T injection every other week.
So if you’re discussing your dose with someone else, and they say that they’re taking 1.0 mL biweekly, that would translate to 0.5 mL weekly.
That means you have to be careful about a direct comparison about the volume of testosterone when you’re having a conversation with someone!
Ok, now let’s move on to another hypothetical.
If you told me that you’re taking 0.3 mL of testosterone every week, and I told you that I’m also taking 0.3 mL of testosterone every week, you might assume that we’re taking the same dose because we’re injecting the same volume of testosterone at the same frequency.
But the concentration of the testosterone will affect dose comparisons!
Most testosterone vials in the US have a concentration of 200 mg/mL. That means if I’m injecting 0.3 mL of 200 mg/mL testosterone weekly, I’m taking 60 mg of testosterone per week.
But not all testosterone comes in a concentration of 200 mg/mL.
My mother is taking testosterone because she has low hormone levels, but because she is cisgender and not looking to have masculinization occur so she’s on what you could consider a truly low-dose of testosterone.
Her testosterone cypionate comes from a compounding pharmacy, and the concentration is 50 mg/mL.
So if she’s taking 0.3 mL of testosterone every week, that means her dose is 15 mL weekly, which is four times the dose I’m taking.
(At this point, I should note that this is hypothetical– while my mom and I are both taking testosterone, neither of us is taking 0.3 mL and I’m just using that number as an example).
Ok, so here’s another example:
While there are different forms of testosterone, at this point let’s just say that we’re both taking a more-or-less equivalent form of testosterone like testosterone cypionate and testosterone enanthate.
So if you told me that you’re taking 0.3 mL of 200 mg/mL testosterone enanthate every week, and I told you that I’m also taking 0.3 mL of 200 mg/mL testosterone cypionate every week, you might assume that we’re taking the same dose because we’re injecting the same volume of testosterone at the same frequency and you’d be right.
So now that we’ve established that we’re taking roughly equivalent doses of testosterone, we’d have to get into the blood work.
Equivalent doses don’t always produce equivalent results at the same rate.
Two people on the same dose of T might have two different T levels after their first bloodwork, and one of them may have to do a higher dosage while the other may decrease their dosage, but in the end they’d both end up with the same levels even though they’re taking different amounts of T.
People who have a higher dose of T don’t necessarily experience changes faster than people on a lower dose- it all depends on how your body processes the T. The important bit is what your blood work shows your T levels to be, not the dose of T.
So if you and I are both injecting 0.3 mL of testosterone, but my testosterone levels are in the low 200’s and yours are in the high 800’s, that means that 0.3 mL is a low dose for me and an average dose for you.
There is no particular magic dose that is considered a “low dose” for everyone.
Low-dose T is taking a lower-than-typical dose of testosterone so your T levels are above that of the average cis woman’s, but below the average cis man’s.
If you’re on too low of a dose then there’s some risk that your body will just convert the T into estrogen and you won’t get any changes, or that there could be other health risks, but if you are being monitored by a provider who you’ve discussed taking low dose T with it should be safe.
If you take low-dose T, the changes associated with being on testosterone will take longer to happen but you will end up with all of them except possibly the stopping of menstruation, which happens for some people but not all.
Again, taking low-dose testosterone will still cause genital growth, and all of the other changes listed in the Testosterone FAQ- but your period may continue unless you use birth control, or have a hysterectomy, etc.
People often take low-dose T so they can get used to the changes slower and have time to adjust, or because they don’t want to overshoot their goal of androgyny and end up in the masc side of things.
In my opinion, the term “low-dose testosterone” can be confusing because it gives people the idea that there’s a particular dose that counts as low-dose for all people, but sometimes something that’s a low dose for one person is an average dose for another person.
Sidenote: While I would prefer a term that addresses the testosterone levels instead of the dose, I do use the term “low-dose testosterone” because while it isn’t perfect, it does describe the gist of what we’re discussing– someone being on a low dose (in terms of their own body) and I prefer it to the term “microdosing” which has recently been recently been popularized as an alternative to the term “low dose”. The term “microdose” doesn’t improve on what I see as the issues with the term “low dose” and it adds a connotation that the term low-dose doesn’t have, but that’s another discussion.
Anway, I’ve said a bunch of stuff that doesn’t really answer your question.
If you’re looking to a way to compare testosterone doses, this table is what you’re looking for:
As always, I’d like to note that your testosterone dose should be determined by your testosterone levels, your level and rate of masculinization in relation to your goals, and your overall health (cholesterol levels, kidney functioning, etc), and that is very individual and it means that there may be a reason why your dose is not the same as the dose of the people you’ve been talking to.
Anyway, with all the caveats listed above, 60 mg of testosterone per week is not generally considered to be a low starting dose (assuming that you’re on 0.3 mL of 200 mg/mL of testosterone which would be 60 mg).
I started testosterone on a low dose of gel which was 12.5 mg of testosterone gel daily. This is because I wanted to be on a low dose. I eventually changed my mind, about my goals as I’ve discussed here, and I eventually went up to an average dose of testosterone gel and then switched to injections.
Now I’m 4 years on testosterone and I’m taking 80 mg (0.4 mL) of 200 mg/mL testosterone enanthate weekly but my primary care provider said my T levels are too high on that dose so I might be moving down to 70 mg (0.35 mL) or 60 mg (0.3 mL) of testosterone soon.
You can (And should!!) bring up any concerns or questions you have about your testosterone dose with your testosterone prescriber.
Since I don’t know how often you take testosterone or what concentration you’re taking, it’s hard to answer questions about your specific dose/situation
60 mg of testosterone weekly is a pretty normal starting dose, and not abnormally low. If your T levels are in the right range when you have your next blood work done, and you feel content with the changes you’re experiencing, there’s a good chance that you might not even have to change your dose.
But if you were on 60 mg of testosterone biweekly (AKA 30 mg weekly) then that would be a lower starting dose, which isn’t abnormal either but it does mean that you likely have room to move up your dose at your next appointment if you aren’t satisfied with the rate of changes you’re getting.
Comparing your dose to other people‘s might be an interesting way to pass the time, and it’s good to be informed on your medical care and check the chart above to see if your dose falls in the low/average/high range so you can ask the right questions about why that is, but it doesn’t mean that someone else’s dose is better than yours if it’s higher, or worse than yours if it’s lower. As long as you’re happy with your changes and your blood work looks good, then don’t stress about the dose!
Looking back at these photos of my pregnancy, birth and beyond is really such a trip. To think, I carried this beautiful child for (almost) 9 months and actually gave birth to him…it’s the most amazing feeling. To know that I am capable of such a miracle is so humbling. This journey was and is the best decision I’ve ever made. It was so worth all of the dysphoria I’ve experienced, because just looking at that face makes it all disappear. Being a seahorse dad is the greatest blessing I could ever imagine. ❤️❤️
Photos in order:
-4 weeks pregnant
-37 weeks pregnant
-Rowan’s birthday (ft my amazing husband)
-3 months old
Go follow my Instagram @transwithchild to see my journey! 😁
Also, please feel free to ask any questions, I am an open book and really want to make sure that my trans family has the info they need if this journey is something they are thinking of embarking on. (obviously keep it respectful)
Heads up! We’re changing the way we parse URLs on tagged and search pages, to properly encode/decode them to support spaces, hyphens, plus signs, and underscores. Most of these changes will be invisible to you, but if you’ve kept bookmarks or links to tagged and search pages on Tumblr or your blog, read on!
What does it do? Today, and with that toggle disabled, going to a blog’s tagged URL like https://staff.tumblr.com/tagged/tumblr-tuesday would turn “tumblr-tuesday” into “tumblr tuesday” and you’d see posts with that tag. Same with search URLs. If you have that toggle enabled, that https://staff.tumblr.com/tagged/tumblr-tuesday URL will be decoded as “tumblr-tuesday” instead. If you want to link to the “tumblr tuesday” tag on your blog, you’ll have to use “tumblr%20tuesday” in the URL. But this means that if you use certain special characters in your tags, you’ll now properly be able to link to them!
The toggle above gives you early access to figure this all out. On December 1st, 2021, we’ll be enabling this behavior for all blogs on Tumblr.
We’ll update all of the links when you click on tags in Tumblr. However, if you manually added links to your tags in your blog description, theme, somewhere off Tumblr, saved bookmarks, or in posts (like a pinned post on your blog), then you’ll need to update those links if they contain spaces, underscores, or hyphens. Spaces in tags will now be encoded as “%20” rather than “-” or “+”. To do this, turn that toggle on, and click around on your tags to see if any of the URLs changed. Having this setting enabled and updating any links you’ve saved somewhere will future-proof you for when we roll this change out site-wide.
We hope this is great news for anyone who uses tags in specific ways (we see you!) and has been frustrated that the way to link to them has been inconsistent, or just plain not working since… forever. We’re working on several fixes across Tumblr related to these inconsistencies, but the majority of them require no action on your part.
Odd question but does anyone know of a browser extension that checks pronoun grammar? Google docs isn’t recognizing the singular they and I don’t want to submit this letter without an accurate grammar check. One that includes neopronouns would be great too
Hello! I hope you're well! Please only answer this if you have time, but I wanted to ask if or how your experiences of (de)transition changed your outlook on life or changed what matters to you? Maybe this is a strange question, but by the time I detransitioned I think the experience of transitioning had changed me in ways that I couldn't predict or understand before transitioning, and I think that contributed to my decision to change tack. I guess I wondered if you can relate.
Gosh, yes. Both my transition and detransition changed how I look at life and priorities. It’s too much to go over in one sitting, so I’ll just write about what’s been on my mind most recently: Resilience and the ability to recognize when you need to change course, even in the face of insurmountable challenges and sunk costs, even when there’s no going back.
Transitioning in the first place already takes serious guts. It’s not easy. And then, when you look back at how much you invested and sacrificed for your transition, only to be unhappy with it… detransitioning is pretty damn soul-crushing!
Something I’ve noticed personally: many other challenges in my adulthood have paled in comparison to the challenge that detransition has been. It feels like I can’t be phased by most things anymore. Between dealing with detransitioning itself, and dealing with the social consequences of being ambiguous in appearance and refusing to Prettify myself, I’ve developed a thick skin.
I think that detransitioners have direct evidence in our lives that we are able to recognize when something isn’t going well for us, and are able to take action to steer ourselves in new directions, even without the support or approval of others. We’re capable of dropping anything that is no longer serving us, no matter what we might have paid to have it in the first place.
I don’t know how to tell you how valuable this is, and how difficult & uncommon it is to develop this presence of mind, this ability/willingness to Let Go in the face of uncertainty.
It’s not unique to detransitioners; we aren’t all that special. But we’ve got lived experiences that we can look back on, that prove to us what we are capable of. There is little room for self-doubt when we’ve repeatedly demonstrated just how far we’ll go in order to live a fulfilling life.
I don’t write much about my life on Tumblr, keeping it fairly limited in scope for the sake of anonymity and my general well-being. But, there’s more to my life than my detransition, and just like everyone else, I’m dealing with the consequences of many decisions made before I reached maturity. Not all of which I’m necessarily happy about.
Right now I’m in the midst of a full-blown crisis about my career, quickly trying to make plans to get out of IT/academia and into a skilled trade. I want to leave the desks & computers behind, to get outside and work with my hands. My younger self never would have seen this coming, nor would any of my family or friends. I’ve actually kept mostly quiet about it, because there will be doubters and naysayers.
But even something like a career meltdown, an experience that causes many people the biggest disturbance/grief in their lives, feels fairly painless in comparison to what detransitioning was like. In myself, I recognize many of the same feelings of regret, feeling trapped, sadness over all the years spent invested in this one thing, feeling let down by a past self that was so sure of what would be “best” for my future, fear of the unknown and uncertain, etc… But it’s not new to me. This kind of experience doesn’t rattle me to my core anymore. I can just kind of… roll with it now.
Don’t get me wrong, I feel distressed. (GOD, do I feel it right now!) But I don’t feel hopeless. I recognize the emotions for what they are: beacons that are guiding me in the direction I need to go. My world is not ending, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m on my way there.
My feeling is very much, “I’ve survived detransitioning. I’m surviving and living in this world as a weird, bald, bearded lady. If I can do all that, I can do anything.”
I believe wholeheartedly in us. In you, in me, in all of us.
Today is my revision surgery on my vulva! The surgeon is going to be modifying my clitoris area to make it easier to access my remaining nerve bundle, removing some scar tissue at the opening of my vulva, and removing excess skin that grew around my urethra that causes me to dribble after I pee. I’m simultaneously glad to get these annoyances dealt with and scared that something is going to go…
Hello Tumblr peeps! Long time, no talk and boy has life changed! Here’s a little update:
In April of 2020, my partner and I decided that we wanted to have a baby together, and so began our journey. I stopped taking testosterone and fell pregnant 7 months later, November 2020, with our perfect little man.
In May 2021, I got to marry my wonderful partner in front of his parents, my grandparents and friends/family over Facebook Live. It was a beautiful wedding and we enjoyed our honeymoon in New Hampshire.
Overall, life has been a wild ride, but we are loving every minute with each other and our little prince, Rowan. 🥰❤️
If anyone is interested in learning more about my pregnancy/parenting journey, please come follow me @transwithchild on Instagram and Facebook, as well as my blog at www.transwithchild.com. There are photos of my labor and delivery, our wedding and blog posts about my experiences.
Medicaid is a U.S. state-run health insurance program that provides payment
for medical services for low-income citizens. This map shows which
states have have clarified that the state Medicaid program covers
transition-related care.
4 months & 2 weeks post-op from stage-1 ALT phalloplasty
(And about 3 weeks into the college semester and cross country season now)
At this point, everything is healed…. except the tip of my penis, which is still Concerningly Not Healed. At some point I might discuss that more, but right now I’ll just move on from it and discuss the topic of today’s post: My pants!
For context:
My penis size is just within the lower bounds of the six-to-seven-inch length range I had requested from the surgeon. Post-phallo penises can’t change length when they have an erection; they can only get “hard” but they don’t get longer. That means people who are prioritizing having an average-sized erect penis during sex will have an above-average-sized flaccid penis during everyday life. This trade-off is inconvenient at times, but it is worth it for me.
Some people use Coban wrap with a condom on top to make their penises stiff enough for penetration before they get erectile implants, and that might give you an idea of what I’m dealing with here because I have to wrap my penis with Coban every day to prevent swelling.
It’s primarily the Coban wrap which makes my dick print bulge very prominently Visible in pants because as mentioned, my flaccid penis is a few inches more longer than the average cis guy’s flaccid penis, and wrapping it in Coban makes it less flexible so it doesn’t hide well.
“Big dick problems” are a super real thing because I don’t feel comfortable looking like I have a boner at all times! So that severely limited what pants I could wear in public without being indecent.
Luckily, I found a work-around to avoid the big-boner-look that is doing wonders for my ability to be in public and not feel self-conscious.
I said that I bought them in a size “Large,” and so it’s important to clarify that I normally wear a 28-waist jean, but the “large” size essentially is a 32-inch jean size.
The only way the pants don’t fall down is because they have a drawstring so I can get them to actually fit me at the waist despite the waist otherwise being too big.
The pants have a drop-crotch and they’re loose in the thigh area, and that plus the extra sizes up from my normal size means that I can have my penis hang directly down or go down one pant leg without creating an uncomfortable bulge look.
They also have an extreme tapered leg which helps because they aren’t ridiculously wide at the bottom, they fit me around the ankle the way a typical straight cut jean would fit.
And they also come in several different washes, so I have about 4 pairs of them that I’ve modified (I’ll get to the modification part at the end of the post).
Basically, I live in these jeans now. These are the pants I exclusively wear around campus and to class.
I always bike to class, and the leg isn’t tapered enough to be ideal biking attire, but it’s not bad enough that it’s unsafe and it’s just fine for me as I’m only going a mile or two in each direction. If you bike and plan on wearing them, you might need to buy the vintage-style bike trouser/pant leg clips.
The pockets are super large and functional, and have a coin pocket which I love. The fly is fake, but doesn’t matter to me since I didn’t have UL and sit to pee anyway. The pants have belt loops which is amazing because I can put a belt on for style or for extra security even though they also have a drawstring. I usually use the belt loop to hook on my carabiner with my keys.
If anyone is post-phallo and need pants with some extra crotch room while they’re recovering, I couldn’t recommend these more highly! They’re comfy and look normal-enough that people wouldn’t find them noticeable enough to comment on them.
Here’s what I look like wearing the pants:
Here’s how I modified the pants:
First I cut off the jogger cuff with some scissors.
I put the pants on, folded up the pant legs to cuff it to the right length, then marked that length with a sharpie on the fabric.
Then I cut off the extra material, leaving the leg about an inch longer than I would wear it.
I turned the pants inside out, folded over the edge, pinned the edge, then used a ruler to draw a dotted line so I could easily follow where I wanted to sew.
Next, I watched some videos on YouTube on how to thread a sewing machine.
Finally, after a long time messing around with the bobbin, I hemmed the bottom of the pants.
