Afraid to be Read
I remembering going out with someone, where just about everything I was attracted to about her, she was terrified and anxious about. It was a weird abrupt sort of relationship. One that I sometimes reflect back on and still feel puzzled about. For example, I felt attracted to her because she liked to read. But after we began going out, I soon realized that for her, reading was something she did alone and didn't talk about it with others. None of her friends would read for fun and so she became incredibly anxious when I would want to talk to her about what she was reading and what I was reading. She loved when I picked out books for her and gave them to her, thinking about what I felt she might enjoy reading, given the places she was at in her life. But she wouldn't talk to me about what she was reading and she would shut down if I tried to talk to her. For me, I love books and love reading, and I read things I never talk to anyone about and read things that I love to talk to