[video]
These safety tips can make the difference between being severely injured or killed and escaping with your life.
Prepare for emergencies
- Know your abuser’s red flags. Be on alert for signs and clues that your abuser is getting upset and may explode in anger or violence. Come up with several believable reasons you can use to leave the house (both during the day and at night) if you sense trouble brewing.
- Identify safe areas of the house. Know where to go if your abuser attacks or an argument starts. Avoid small, enclosed spaces without exits (such as closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window.
- Come up with a code word. Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use to let your children, friends, neighbors, or co-workers know that you’re in danger and the police should be called.
Make an escape plan
- Be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Keep the car fueled up and facing the driveway exit, with the driver’s door unlocked. Hide a spare car key where you can get it quickly. Have emergency cash, clothing, and important phone numbers and documents stashed in a safe place (at a friend’s house, for example).
- Practice escaping quickly and safely. Rehearse your escape plan so you know exactly what to do if under attack from your abuser. If you have children, have them practice the escape plan also.
- Make and memorize a list of emergency contacts. Ask several trusted individuals if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, or help contacting the police. Memorize the numbers of your emergency contacts, local shelter, and domestic violence hotline.
(via betterthandarkchocolate)
[video]
Diet culture and the obsession for universal thinness has impacted the mental health, self esteem, wellbeing of individuals who are “overweight.” This societal pressure has resulted in fat shaming and discriminatory behaviours on the part of others.
Many individuals hold stereotypes that individuals who are fat are “lazy”, “unmotivated” or even consider them to have “poor self control” and “poor management skills”. This discrimination against fat individuals impacts in every aspect of their lives from employment to salary to health care to personal safety to interpersonal relationship.
So what are some ways to cope with this?
Confront the person exhibiting this behaviour: If you are at work or school or in a doctors office choose a time and place where you can talk privately with the other person. Remember to be assertive and try to manage your emotions using relaxation techniques such as belly breathing.
- Acknowledge the tension between you.
- Outline the behaviour that is causing tension.
- Cite a number of specific examples.
- Explain how these actions affect you.
Ignore the comments: Confronting someone on a behaviour that is problematic can be a very stressful experience or one that might not be an option for some.
Positive affirmations: Don’t underestimate the power of positive affirmations, our subconscious records everything that we say to ourselves. Even if you don’t believe it at first if done regularly it becomes our reality. Here is a site with some affirmations.
Monitoring negative self talk: As stated above our self conscious records everything that we say to ourselves. If you have the habit of putting yourself down try to challenge these thoughts. There are four main types of challenging questions to ask yourself:
- If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?
- What is my evidence for and against my thinking?
- Will this matter in five years time?
- Is there something I can learn from this situation?
Visualisation: Visualisation is a very powerful technique that can be very helpful in improving self esteem. In this technique you simply take a few minutes to visualise what you want to be like such as more self confident. Ask yourself what would it feel like? What would it look like? How would you interact with people? The more detailed the better.
Comfort yourself and let others comfort you: Self care is very important, if you have had a hard day do something that relaxes you, comfort yourself with positive comments and allow friends and family to be there to comfort you as well. Remember if you are struggling its okay to need help.
Keep things in perspective: Sometimes this is very difficult to do when you have been discriminated against but it is important to keep in mind all of the interactions you have had that have been positive. Also it is good to think of enjoyable moments in your life.
Join a body positive community: There are numerous fat acceptance and body acceptance blogs on tumblr. They help promote healthy body image and often have great community support.
(via staystrong-mydarling1deac)
[video]
(via fuckyeahbodypositivity)
3 types of self soothing thoughts
- Validation: it’s ok that I hurt and want to feel better
- Reassurance: I can handle this pain even though it hurts
- Perspective taking: I’ve had bad days like this before and I’ve made it through them. I can remember my better days and know I’m not always hurting this much
(via campus-survivors)
[video]
(via depressionresource)
“
We live in a culture that produces girls’ tops with narrower shoulder straps than boys’ tops, girls’ shorts that expose more leg than boys’ shorts, and then shames girls for wearing the clothes sold to them. We live in a culture that tells boys it’s okay to shed clothing in the heat in order to be more comfortable, but tells girls that their comfort is secondary to how others perceive them.
[…]
The message that we are receiving isn’t just that more ‘revealing’ clothes are wrong. It’s that our female bodies are wrong. That by having breasts and hips and legs and exposing them, we are less.
” — A Message To Teenage Girls About Summer Dress Codes, Chelsea Cristene (via tiredestprincess)(via pom-seedss)
Thanks for the messages of support, I’m finding it hard to respond to people directly at the moment but I wanted to you to know I appreciate it and your efforts.
I’m taking measures to ensure my health and wellbeing.
[video]
“You get this every time someone comes out. Straight people- it’s almost always straight people- falling over themselves to talk about how they don’t care. It’s not just when celebrities come out, either. How many conversations have you heard recounted where someone comes out to someone close to them- a best friend, a close relative- and that person reacts with a “so what” or a “cool.. pass the peas, will you?”
I’m not saying there aren’t situations where that’s appropriate. When you’re dealing with someone who’s been out for yonks who you’ve just met? Good reaction. If I mentioned, say, fancying Ellen Page or a woman I was dating in the staff room at work? I’m hoping for blasé.
But when someone is coming out for the first time? This cooler-than-thou insistence on not caring about someone’s orientation- on it being irrelevant- is horrible. It ignores how hard it is to come out. It ignores the fact that this thing you won’t acknowledge as important could be something that they’ve been holding in for years. For decades. It shuts its eyes and ears to the harm that heteronormativity and homophobia have done to the person standing right in front of you. All so that you can feel good about how progressive and right-on you are, without taking a single moment to account for the consequences of the privilege you wear too lightly.”
— Someone’s come out. So what? (via brutereason)
(Source: freethoughtblogs.com, via in-fi-ni-deactivated20181203)
whatireallylearnedintreatment:
(via uneprincesseecriture)
