I’m Trash

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
ajcrawly
otakusapien

Welcome to Night Vale gags that will always be funny:

  • “McDaniels is described as an 18 foot tall five headed dragon with mostly green eyes. He is wanted for insurance fraud.”
  • Long, dark, rambling, vaguely horrifying ads that end with fast food slogans
  • Cecil’s absolute refusal to believe in mountains
  • The audience booing when Kevin called Carlos ugly
  • STEVE CARLSBURG
  • Cecil and Carlos wearing furry pants and a “weekend labcoat” on their first date
  • Breaking the fourth wall about the Weather
  • “PLASTIC. BAGS.”
  • Carlos’s scientifically accurate horse joke
  • Marcus Vansten casually insisting he needs a table made of human bone
  • Cecil berating the audience for picturing a car incorrectly
  • “Mitch-i-gan”
  • Cecil almost sending a detailed message to Carlos about how much he loves him and wants to be there for him before he’s about to be killed….then deciding,”eh, that’s too long to text” and hitting his attacker with the phone instead
  • All of Carlos’s accents and impressions in “The Investigators”
  • Josie winning in their bowling league because the angels cheat for her and no one’s legally allowed to acknowledge them
  • Cecil’s response to Steve’s impression of Carlos
  • The City Council dating Station Management
  • “I wore leather pants, a Hawaiian shirt, and a baseball hat made out of honeycomb. I just wore the same thing I slept in last night.”
otakusapien

The Marcus Vansten line is funnier knowing he’s played by Marc Evan Jackson

Source: otakusapien
singing-not-sleeping-beauty
j1sheath:
“iamjustverypassionateaboutbees:
“gay-irl:
“Trans🚨irl
”
It’s SB289 and it says that medical professionals (doctors, nurses, therapists/counselors, physical therapists, surgeons, etc.) can refuse treatment, testing, and a lot of other stuff...
gay-irl

Trans🚨irl

iamjustverypassionateaboutbees

It’s SB289 and it says that medical professionals (doctors, nurses, therapists/counselors, physical therapists, surgeons, etc.) can refuse treatment, testing, and a lot of other stuff due to their “ Conscience.” This includes prescribing hormone medication for trans people, prescribing contraceptives for people who need that, treating a person based on their sexuality, and withholding testing for HIV among other things based on their personal beliefs. They can refuse to treat, see, test, diagnose, prescribe, and counsel. The bill is currently on Governor Hutchinson’s desk awaiting signature

(X)

j1sheath

The trans sports ban passed, the healthcare refusal has passed. The last item is the extreme healthcare ban. Please continue to advocate against that. Chase Strangio is an ACLU rep who has been collecting info about all of these bills and how to fight against them. All photos are tweets that are on their timeline.

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It is trans week of action & there are still more states you can help fight these bills in like South Dakota & Alabama.

protect trans lives

Source: gay-irl
the-freckled-luba
lesbianakinskywalker

harley rolling up to the wayne manor is her bedazzled heeleys: omg brucie you’ll NEVER guess what happened—oh are you busy?

bruce laying in the grass as his kids spray him with a hose from ten feet away: no go on I’m listening

harley laying down next to him: alright cool SO!

batarangsoundsdumb

bruce rolling up to her apartment in a rolls royce and bedazzled sunglasses just straight up honking until she comes outside: harley, you wouldn’t believe what lex luthor wore to the board meeting this time

harley in matching sunglasses:  o my god, not the blue prada sw-

bruce nodding his head: the fucking prada sweats

jumpingjacktrash

#i don't like batman the comics or batman the movie#i like batman the tumblr experience#*tumblr voice* i take a hammer and FIX the toxic masculinity

Source: lesbianakinskywalker
notyetsnake
keepcalmandcarriefischer

There once was a man trying to make a point about the kitchen. "The sink!" He said "the sink is the single most important thing in the kitchen! It washes, it provides drinking water! It helps you prepare all of your meals and cleans your dishes for you after! The sink is the most important!"

"However," said a stranger coming through the crowd "you are forgetting about the countertop. It holds everything in the kitchen together. You prepare your food and serve your food ON the countertop. Even your prescious sink would have no where to be if it weren't for the countertop!"

The man was stunned. He wasn't prepared for a counterargument

keepcalmandcarriefischer

I wrote this joke in a sleep deprived rage and its one of the best pieces of writing I have ever produced

Source: keepcalmandcarriefischer
mirkwoodest
mirkwoodest

One of the ballsiest things Tolkien ever did was write 473k words about some hobbits called frodo, sam, merry, and pippin and then write in the appendices that their names are actually maura, ban, kali, and razal. 

mirkwoodest

This just in: Eowyn and Eomer’s names actually start with the letter “L.” [source for other nerds

mirkwoodest

#wait so they have hobbitish names and common names?

No, they have Westron names and English names.

What you’ve got to understand is that everything Tolkien wrote was him pretending to merely translate ancient documents. He was writing as if the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings had actually been written by Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam (or Bilba, Maura, and Ban) and he was just some random contemporary academic translating it all into English for us. 

There are many languages in his books, but generally speaking, everything written in English in the books is a translation of the language “Westron.” Therefore any names that come from Westron, he translated. Names coming from other languages, like Sindarin, he left as they were. Why? IDK. Maybe because the stories are from a hobbit perspective and hobbits speak Westron, so he wanted the Westron parts to sound familiar and the other languages/names to remain foreign? 

“But Mirkwoodest!” you cry, “The word ‘hobbit’ isn’t an English word! And the names Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin Took, and Meriadoc Brandybuck” all sounds super weird and not like English at all!”

Psych! They are in English! (Or Old English, German, or Norse.) Once again you underestimate what a nerd Tolkien was. Let me break it down: 

In Westron, hobbits are actually called “kuduk,” which means “hole-dweller,” so for an English translation, Tolkien called them “hobbits” which is a modernization of the Old English word “holbytla” which comes from “Hol” (hole) and “Bytla”(builder)

“Maura” is a Westron name which means “Wise.” Weirdly enough, “Frodo” is an actual Proto-Germanic name that actual people used to have and it means the same thing. 

“Banazîr” is Westron for “half-wise, or simple.” In Proto Germanic, the prefix “Sam” means half, and wise is obviously a word we still use. 

“Razanur” means “Traveler” or “Stranger” which is also the meaning of the word “Peregrin(e)” This one is a twofer because  “Razar” means “a small red apple” and in English so does “Pippin.”

“Kalimac” apparently is a meaningless name in Westron, but the shortened form “Kali” means “happy,” so Jirt decided his nickname would be “Merry” and chose the really obscure ancient Celtic name “Meriodoc” to match. 

Jirt chose to leave “Bilba” almost exactly the same in English, but he changed the ending to an “O” because in Westron names ending in “a” are masculine. 

I’m not going to go on and talk about the last names but those all have special meanings too (except Tûk, which is too iconic to change more than the spelling of, apparently). 

The Rohirrim were also Westron speakers first and foremost, so their names are also “translations” into Old English and Proto-Germanic words, i.e. “Eowyn”  is a combination of “Eoh” (horse) and “Wynn” (joy/bliss)

“Rohirrim/Rohan” are Sindarin words, but in the books, they call themselves the “Éothéod” which is an Old English/Norse combo that means “horse people.” Tolkien tells us in the “Peoples of Middle Earth” that the actual Westron for “Éothéod” is Lohtûr, which means that Eowyn and Eomer’s names, which come from the same root word, must also start with the letter L. 

The names of all the elves, dwarves, Dunedain, and men from Gondor are not English translations, since they come from root words other than Westron. 

The takeaway from this is that when a guy whose first real job was researching the history and etymology of words of Germanic origin beginning with the letter “W” writes a book, you can expect this kind of tomfoolery.

Notes: Sorry I said “Razal” instead of “Razar” in my original post I’m a fraud. 

Further Reading: 

Rohirric , Westron 

noblepeasant

What I’m getting from this is that Sam’s parents really didn’t like him. Who calls their kid “half-wise”?

krool-gwooptsoov

Hobbits who want their son to just became a gardener and not follow old Mr. Bilbo or Mr. Gandalf on any of their adventures, probably

noblepeasant

Ah, the four Hobbits: Hugh, Ferdinand, Bonnie and Moron.

mirkwoodest

You laugh, but I literally have a post where I ask people to retranslate the Hobbit names into various languages, and all of yours are valid except for Moron. I dare you to find a better name for Sam and to do surnames as well.

I went with Sage, Fingal, Calvin, and Ben. If you want to see a masterlist of all the translations of “Merry and Pippin” I’ve received so far, there’s a post for that too! They make me happy :)