Astral Social Club ‎– "#6" (Self-released CD-r) 2005

There's loads of these y'know.......getting bored now,so this is the last one.
Got nothing to say either, so here's a picture of a cat:

Tracklisting:
1 Untitled 4:07
2 Untitled 0:43
3 Untitled 5:27
4 Untitled 4:20
5 Untitled 3:22
6 Untitled 2:13
7 Untitled 3:37
8 Untitled 6:14
9 Untitled 4:39

DOWNLOAD from the astral club plain HERE!

Astral Social Club ‎– "#5" (Self-Released CD-r) 2005

After having witnessed Lady GaGa delivering her vomit inducing acceptance speech at the Oscars,I can forward the good news to Neil Campbell, that never giving up will inevitably lead to winning an Oscar? GaGa informs us that after all those years of her back-breaking toil, the hard work has paid off. Let that nugget of information ring melodiously in the ears of  fruit pickers and building labourers everywhere. When you get home after a 14 hour day, to eat yer baked beans, and rest your totally fucked back, remember that Lady Gaga has been working hard too you selfish bleeders. Those days when Lady G's lickle fingers were sore from playing her piano for a full  half an hour, non-stop, then maybe another half an hour later , must have been sheer hell. And theres you, lording it with your feet up, eating the beans you got from the food bank, complaining about your health problems when poor millionaire celebrities have had to cope with the stress of doing the thing they love as a career,and working a couple of months in the year, at the mercy of those harsh razor tongued critics.
I doubt Neil Campbell would call what he does as 'Hard', but he will never give it up, and like Gaga will one day win an Oscar for best 'original song'.That would probably make me watch this sickening self-congratulatory back-slapping atrocity exhibition for once.
Oh Yeah, by the way Gaga, your so-called 'Original Song',in a film which is a remake of a remake of a remake, is fucking shit.
At the end of the day, who do you want in your nuclear bunker when the balloon goes up, a useless song and dance celebrity, or the fruit-picker with the fucked back?....thats right, Lady Gaga. As long as she brings some champagne,and signs my Flock Of Seagulls CD.
Giggle,giggle,I'm so excited,I can't wait for the next war.

Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 7:39
2 Untitled 12:13
3 Untitled 2:07
4 Untitled 15:40
5 Untitled 14:15

DOWNLOAD the oscar winner for best original drone HERE!

Astral Social Club ‎– "#4" (Self-Released CD-r) 2005

As aural spam, or even astral spam, are a major source of material in the Astral Social Club. I thought I wouldn't waste your time with my silly opinions and review this album using more Spam from my junk folder. You've already had advice on enlarging your organ, so now I bring you an opportunity to be richer than your wildest dreams and massively sucessful by doing precisely....Nothing. Except making a quick Whats-App call to join the Illuminati. I did it, and now i'm penniless after The 'Illuminati' emptied my bank account, and ordered a massive plasma screen Television from Amazon in my name.

I'm sure that was just some kind of bureaucratic error, so if you want $600,000 US Dollars and a Golden Ring!!!...yes, a ring I said! Then read this important message:

"WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF RICHES,FAME AND POWERS. Are you a business man or woman, politician, musician,pastor,lawyer,actor,actress,banker,Footballer,doctor, engineer, model,graduate, student,seeking wisdom, fame,power, knowledge and wealth and you. want to be rich, powerful and be famous in life. You can achieve your dreams by being a member of the Great ILLUMINATI brother hood. With this all your dreams and heart desire can be fully accomplish, if you really want to be a member of the great ILLUMINATI brother hood, Note: newly recruited members are entitled with 600,000 US Dollars , A Golden Ring, that will protect and guild you from enemies, and a free visa to United State Of America . Please will do not share blood. Kindly Email us on worldilluminaticentre@gmail.com or whats app us on +2349031652461"

Important Note:

I'm assuming you are supremely intelligent if you read this blog, so I trust you have not called that number.If you did, this is a disclaimer,as I am not responsible for anyone misunderstanding obvious satire.

I'm already in the Illuminati anyways...it ain't up to much.Never get christmas cards from the Rothschilds,and don't get the chance to order False Flag terrorist attacks....never!!! I'm thinking about sending my ring back. Anyone know their address?


Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 4:54
2 Untitled 12:40
3 Untitled 2:17
4 Untitled 3:05
5 Untitled 5:23
6 Untitled 6:45
7 Untitled 4:27
8 Untitled 4:16
9 Untitled 5:18

DOWNLOAD from the great temple of riches HERE!

Astral Social Club - "#3" (Self-released CD-r) 2005

I found this important piece of information in my spam section, which i think sums up this experimental drone noise variety performance rather adequately.....also I've ran out of superlatives for anymore Neil campbell projects so here's something as surreal as the music....behold the wisdom of Dr Olhia.....

Relanes Ihab said...

"Hello viewers around the Globe, I was despondent because i had a very small penis, about 2.5 inches soft and 4 inches hard not nice enough to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist called Dr, OLHIA and i decided to contact him on his {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com} so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal pills for Penis Enlargement, Within 3 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, " and now it just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 9 inches longer, and i had to settle out with my Ex girlfriend Ella, i was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my sex and i have got a large penis. Am so happy, thanks to Dr OLIHA I also learn that Dr OLIHA also help with Breast Enlargement Hips and Bums Enlargement etc.. If you are in any situation with a little Penis, weak ejaculation, small breast_hips_bums do get to Dr OLIHA now for help on his email {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com} or whats app him number: +2349038382931"

Please note this isn't me saying this, its Relanes Ihab....my penis is 4 inches soft and 2.65" hard, i'll gice you the radius later on so you can work out the circumference if you have nothing better to do.....whatever that could be leaves me speechless??

Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 8:30
2 Untitled 2:45
3 Untitled 3:33
4 Untitled 3:56
5 Untitled 1:20
6 Untitled 7:11
7 Untitled 1:26
8 Untitled 15:16

DOWNLOAD and increase the shortness of your penis HERE!

Astral Social Club ‎– "#2" (Self-Released CD-r) 2005

A second volume of Neil Campbell's abstract semi-improvised sound mixing, as his Astral Social Club shadow project.

As I have nothing short of eff all to say this evening, I'll keep it short and say that, "This is effing good shit that would make a jolly fine soundtrack to an alternative Bunga Bunga party."

Its music that perfectly describes the moment you regain consciousness in the Dentists chair and notice that your belt an flys have been tampered with and your bottom has an unexplained throbbing sensation. We've all been there.....haven't we?????

Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 2:48
2 Untitled 5:25
3 Untitled 2:23
4 Untitled 6:57
5 Untitled 3:18
6 Untitled 2:52
7 Untitled 9:26
8 Untitled 8:24
DOWNLOAD from the astral social plain HERE!

Astral Social Club ‎– "#1" - (Self Released CD-r) 2005

Neil Campbell's solo and small group outings post-Vibracathedral Orchestra project.

Its less dependant on the Drone, and even veers towards the 'ambient House' end of the toilet on track four.

I assume Campbells moniker for this project alludes to a fantasy version of the Northern English phenomenon of the 'Working Mens Club', full of Flat Caps, stale ale, and cigarette smoke....I was gonna say Fag smoke,but there were absolutely zero Homosexuals in Northern England until very recently.Just like there are No Gays in Iran. Christ knows what went on in those male bogs back in the seventies!?

The Astral Social Club is an antidote to all those Racist comedians and cheapo organists who provided the entertainment to these 'Working Class' morons. I'd have loved to see the reaction Neil Campbell would have received if by some impossible quirk of fate he was booked as the entertainment at a Working Mens Club in Scunthorpe, for example. Blood would have flowed.

If you are unfamiliar with the strange world of the W.M.C., also known as being 'posh', watch this clip from the British TV version, "The Wheeltappers and Shunters Social Club" and if you want the uncensored version, watch Bernard Manning at his very worst.

Now you know why Brits are weird.
Tracklisting:

1 Untitled 9:50
2 Untitled 4:16
3 Untitled 6:24
4 Untitled 6:45
5 Untitled 4:06
6 Untitled 1:18
7 Untitled 11:32

DOWNLOAD from the wheeltappers and shunters astral social club HERE!

Vibracathedral Orchestra ‎– "Copse" (Self-released CD-r) 1998

Only recently did I notice that this CD-r wasn't called 'Corpse'!?...It's 'C-O-P-S-E....."Copse", as in 'Call the cops' or a small group of trees.
Dunno about trees, but Vibracathedral are a small group of, here comes that word again... 'Experimental' musicians, or most likely, Non-Musicians in this case.
Where on the graph of musicianship is the line drawn that marks the transistion from Non-Musician to Musician? I prefer to see myself, and other worthy vessels such as 'moi', as inhabiting the scarred and cratered land between the two, a 'No-Musicians Land' if you will allow me such flights of fancy? Here inhabits Poets who would never call themselves 'Poets', Artists who don't think they are the special ones, and Musicians like Vibracathedral who just do it because they appear to have a need to do it, without any pretentions otherwise. A killing ground where the only category is 'Other'.Its not, uh-hum, "Experimental", because its a natural outpouring of a lifeforce channeled from the pure energy that flows within us all,and it can be a rich seam, the motherlode.Then once you've discovered this exposed treasure....Reject it and start again.
In a sense Human Beings are experimental biological machines, full of flaws and defects,both organically and morally...dare I say?...A Failed Experiment?
Its taken a billion years to find out that intelligent life will always destroy itself, and most other living objects they come into contact with.Except for the humble Tardigrade,which is indestructable and would even survive the demolition of the Earth by the Vogons if so required.Perhaps the perfect living creature?
Vibracathedral are perhaps not the perfect living band, but their approach to Drone music cannot be faulted, and also can't be compared to the immortality of the Tardigrade.Especially as the 1998 era of CD-r manufacture turned out to be a less than perfect method for the storage of information.Several manufacturers of these awful little discs,produced CDs that slowly disintegrated over the ensuing years,contrary to the legend that CDs were indestructable.'Dee-grade'would be the name of their creature equivalent.

Tracklisting:

1 Knots Tied In This World Will Hold In The Next
2 Slow Amplic Crackle
3 Kids' Drawings Eat Gloom
4 The Sea Of Sleep
5 Losthappy
6 It's Always Like This
7 Some Will Come

DOWNLOAD or i'll call the copse HERE!

Vibracathedral Orchestra ‎– "Music For Red Breath" (Self-released CD-r) 1999

Like an AMM of the nineties, Vibracathedral regularly exhaled red breath into the underground Drone praries of the UK turn of the millenium underground scene, like an Edgar Allen Poe novel that just repeated the same word over and over again, but all in different fonts. Like the novel Jack Torrence was working on in 'The Shining' (the movie), "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy".
Except in this version, us the listeners are Wendy,Vibracathedral replace Penderecki and this time Jack gets her and bludgeons her, and Danny to death with the Baseball Bat.
Well....I'm just nipping off to Room 237,so in the meantime, i'll leave you with this text extract and a free download of this Vibracathedral Drone epic, alternatively called 'Music to cure your Bad Breath'.

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

Tracklisting:

1 Train Tunnels / Railyard
2 Train Tracks / Fields
3 Late Night Street / Train Station At Night / Hallway
4 Brontis' Bedroom / Brontis' Backyard
5 Future Bedroom / Future Bathroom
6 Stairwell / School Classroom
7 Boys' And Girls' Bathrooms
8 Pharmacy
9 Train Tunnel

DOWNLOAD all work and no play makes jonny a duller boy HERE!

Vibracathedral Orchestra ‎– "Mothing" (Self-released CD-r) 1998

As I said!..Neil Campbell was an integral member of the Vibracarhedral Orchestra!.Weren't you listening?...no(?), because you were reading......well....probably NOT as it happens.Haven't you got anything better to do?
In fact haven't,... I(?)....,got anything better to do?
That's depressing.
Well, to make me feel like life's worthwhile i'll tap away on my grubby keyboard on the subject of the Vibracathedral Orchestra, and generally talk about anything but the music, as I normally do.
I fact I'm listening to something else while I write these words.Words that are destined to disappear forever as soon as Google decide, one day in the near future, to delete everything on Blogger without prior notice.Google plus is going in april.The only thing people are interested in these silly old days are pictures of themselves on Instagram,reading fake stuff on Farcebook,watching funny cats on YouTube,or typing about complex issues in bad english with a minimum of 140 characters....nothing shitter than Twitter, i mean, Trump uses it for starters.
What am I listening to while i'm typing is garbled nonsense is what you all wanna know now right?....Ok,Ok,its that album by the late Mick Karn and Peter Murphy, Dalis Car, "The Waking Hour"....i think its well weird me;but is it weirder than Vibracathedral?.....I reckon it is.
In 1998 everyone and his granny were doing a Drone project.Everyone thought you couldn't get any weirder than that. Well, now i'm of the opinion that A Flock Of Seagulls and Japan were far weirder, we just didn't realise it at the time because this stuff was in the charts. Even the members of these mutant bands thought they were making normal chart music.However, I don't think Dalis Car actually got in the charts?...did it?
My sister actually turned up at a wedding looking for all intents and purposes like Mick Karn in a Dalis Car Video.I had to ask her if she wasn't actually the great Mick himself? She didn't find this funny.I was rather disappointed in fact that it wasn't the Karn himself.
Twenty years in the future...yep, as a commerical for Boeing said on TV this morning, 'The Future is already here'.....and Vibracatherdral doesn't sound so much of the time(1998) as Dalis Car probably does of 1984.Mainly because 'The Drone' is a timeless form of meditative music that dates back at least five thousand years, so 1998 was merely a blip of trendiness, where the perps thought they were doing something new and fresh, when in fact they had gone back to the year zero of pop.So, five thousand years ago this would have been number one,and Dalis Car would still be lingering around the number 50 mark.
But, Einsteins theory of Relativity has an interesting by-product called the 'Loss of Simultaniety'. So if one was travelling very fast (the speed of light) towards an event, say Vibracathedral playing a gig? And my sister, dressed as Mick Karn was, doing light speed in the opposite direction towards a television playing a re-run of Dalis Car on the Old Grey Whistle test in 1984, on Planet Niburu in the Oort Cloud of this solar system; they would have two different perspectives of which one was happening now or in the future or the past. My sister would see the Whistle test as having already happened, but oneself, travelling towards the Vibracathedral gig would think that that Whistle test re-run was in the future. So simutaneously, both parties would have different ideas of which was in the future,but they would both be correct.....got it? Therefore, this suggests that the future has already happened, depending on your relative speed and position in space. A third person, sometimes how I like to refer to myself as when i'm feeling arrogant...I prefer to call it confidence,....oh yeah,i digress,...the Third person....if this Third person, stands equidistant from both events, they will appear to happen in the present, simultaneously.But the other two have quite different views as to wether they have happened, or will be happening in the future.Therfore one viewer will be seeing the future before it has happened for the other.
Now that I've done your Brane in, you probably need some nineties Drone music to soothe your cerebral cortex......or even better,play some Dalis Car. 

Tracklisting:

1 The Beauty Of Refined Austicity 18:36
2 High Reach Driver 11:33
3 Souls Of Centrifuge 4:01
4 Fave Welfare 7:20
5 Transvestite Electrics 5:12
6 Falling Free You & Me 22:59

CLICK HERE because you have probably DOWNLOADed this already tomorrow?

Kneale/Campbell/Todd ‎– "British Steel" (Celebrate Psi Phenomenon ) 2003

By some strange coincidence, the UK Neil Campbell's mirror image from the other side of the planet is New Zealands Campbell Kneale of The Birchville Cat Motel . So naturally, they're gonna collaborate aren't they? Throw in Ashtray Navigations Phil Todd to keep the two Neils, or Kneales, apart to prevent them from cancelling each other out, and we have a noise super groop to end all sooper groops......yes even eclipsing Blind Faith.
In the world of particle physics, or even supernatural German mythology, one should never meet ones Doppleganger, or anti-particle, or you face the danger of the stronger self taking your place, or your anti-matter self cancelling you out to leave ........nothing.
I don't know wether this happened on these nights in Leeds in 2003, but the evidence that something creative occured rather than anything destructive is here to...er...hear?. I suppose, if you make a recording of yourself to prove that you existed, then the power of the Doppleganger would be negated? Can't say the same for Matter/Anti-matter scenarios, as the recording becomes a space/time event rather than proof that something will exist in future time.In fact its difficult to prove that future time will exist at all. This is, however, proof that we all definitely exist in the present.So while one plays these drones,the sound may change, but its only evolving in the moment......the next moment we may not even be alive to hear it.......so get listening to some 'British Steel', preferably not the album by Judas Priest, but this one with the two Neil Campbells on it, before its too late. Not that the concept of 'Lateness' exists in the space time continum,but you know what I mean, because I certainly fucking don't!

Tracklisting:
1 Untitled 15:56
2 Untitled 28:13
3 Untitled 18:45

DOWNLOAD<>DAOLNWOD HERE!

Neil Campbell ‎– "Is Not Here" (Union Pole ‎– #53) 1996

Indeed, noise experimentalist Neil Campbell appears not to be here.Instead he's been replaced by one of those pain in the arses who whips out the acoustic guitar at parties and other social gatherings.Oblivious to the fact that he's shit (its always a 'He'), and incapable of knowing when to stop.Churning out a painful array of hits from the sixties and seventies, surrounded by adoring women.
If there's one song that makes me wanna smash something up, primarily any acoustic fucking guitar within my personal aura, It's "American fucking Pie"!!!!
It is, however, more than acceptable, if this excuse for self-immolation is played sardonically by someone like Neil Campbell, bristling with subtle irony,and lashings of stealthy intelligence. 
The most amusing tracks have to be his versions of  Syd Barratts "Astronomy Domine", and the demolishing of FM radio anthem to boredom, Led Zep's thoroughly atrocious "Stairway To Heaven"; otherwise known as the down escalator to some horrific rock'n'roll purgatory where this track plays in an eternal loop while you're straped into a chair.....no wait a minute,this exists already...its called American FM Radio.
I'd love to hear Neil having a go at doing a  "12 Crass Songs" thing like the Jeffery Lewis album of the same name."U2 Crass Songs" this time Maybe?

Tracklisting:

A1 American Pie
A2 If
A3 Green Is The Colour
A4 Fat Old Sun
A5 Stairway To Heaven
A6 Scarborough Fair
A7 Imagine
A8 Astronomy Domine
B1 Blowin' In The Wind
B2 The Times They Are A-Changing
B3 Let It Be
B4 Eleanor Rigby
B5 Penny Lane

B6 Unknown Title

the DOWNLOAD is not HERE!

Neil Campbell ‎– "Face Of Scurf" (Union Pole ‎– UP41) 1994

Ahhhhh!.....'Scurf'.
This brings back memories of my mother going through my hair, removing insects with the dreaded "Scurf Comb"! Which she dragged over my scalp removing both dead insects (nits or Head lice), and a fair bit of skin, both of the flakey variety ,i.e. actual 'Scurf' and the normal stuff, in one go.
Another name for 'Scurf' is actually 'Dandruff'.Never quite understood what it was until later in my tenure.
As Neil Campbell and I are approximatly the same age, i'm sure he too came face to face with the 'Scurf Comb' A traumatic experience akin to slow torture, and undoubtedly a major influence on Neils work.....of which there are masses of.
Campbell has been in many groups too numerous to list here,as well as a myriad of duo's, and has been a solo sound experimenter since the late eighties at least.
He's most known as a part of uk drone miesters Vibracathedral Orchestra,but he rarely sticks to one style for long.Importantly there's always the suggestion of humour in his work,where commonly one only finds pretention
A non-musician worthy of the honour of life membership in the 'Other' category on iTunes'.

Tracklisting:

A1 Retardo
A2 A Man Ain't A Man
A3 The New Landlords Of Lenton
A4 Ideas
A5 Theo Lorene
A6 Green Sea
A7 Love Falls Out
A8 No Bacon
B1 The Plastic They Put In Bread
B2 Sponge Common
B3 Flap Of Skin

DOWNLOAD the sound of scurf HERE!

Prick Decay & Neil Campbell ‎– "Rate Of CHB Is In" (Union Pole ‎– UP55) 1996

Breathe easy.....Prick Decay also did collaborations with unknowns with no ambitions to be a corporate whore of any description. One of them being Neil Campbell, the prolific sound abstracter from Yorkshire who's manin claim to fame is that he used to be in the Vibracathedral Orchestra.
These two sonic rebrobates, rather than sonic youths, manage to create a sound that is not unlike what your self charging radio would sound like after Russia and America have tested their new intermediate range nuclear missiles on your expendable social housing estate.
Naturally the poor and lower stratas of the middle class will be vaporised first, but the inevitable second wave of long range warheads will wipe out all communications centres, and, regretabbly BBC Braodcasting House will be, i'm sorry to say, nothing more than rubble. Don't those fuckers realise that was a grade one listed building!?.....whatever happened to the fabled Neutron Bomb that just zapps people rather than damaging our heritage and infastructure!
Who would you let into your fallout shelter?
And if you force your way into your neighbours because you haven't got one, be pretty sure that its not a false alarm before you start behaving like a cornered animal.That's a side of our personalities that should never be exposed in public.
One does have the comforting thought that all those celebrities and politicians that will survive in their own luxurious bunkers, will all die horribly when they finally leave their shelter when the water runs out.And, further comfort yourselves with the thought that they are all completely useless at anything real, like farming, basic DIY or building stuff,like theatres for those actors succumbing to Radiation Sickness.All the real people were left to die a quick death so that these important people can live on for another month or so.
The cover of this cassette doesn't look like a mushroom cloud for nothing y'know?

Tracklisting:

A Am Closing In On Skint
B Jerks And Shirts

DOWNLOAD at a rate of n k/ps HERE!

Various Artists ‎– "Miniatures (A Sequence Of Fifty-One Tiny Masterpieces Edited By Morgan-Fisher)" (Pipe ‎– PIPE 2) 1980

"From the sleevenotes:
In 1979: Morgan-Fisher heard "The Goofing Off Suite"(by Pete Seeger), and got an idea...
In 1980: Invitations were sent out to a highly personal selection of creative artists, asking them to contribute
pieces of not more than one minute's duration, to what has turned out to be this extraordinarily eclectic album. "

This is sort of an 'Avant garde' kind of a compilation. Its full of strange bedfellows, like Kevin Coyne and Steve Miller;Half Japanese, and Michael Nyman;Pete Seeger and Ron Geesin? All squeezed together in several small boxes until they all become One. A conceptualised microcosm of the modern globalised world on one LP; except that 'Minatures' works and globalisation is killing the very thing that it is supposed to be 'helping'; eradicating culture, and creating an homogeneous cash grasping bland out, to benefit the Hyper-Rich uber class that will eventually wipe 'us' out and claim this rock for themselves.....if there's anything left of it?

The concept is that a diaspora of various muso's,from the full rainbow of musiciandom, and beyond. Through the visible spectrum,the infra red and Ultraviolet,into the microwave background. Provide a short tune, or composition, of around a minute in length. Then the compiler edits them together in chunks of approximately five minutes.Making a maxiture from the miniture.Then after the expansion from the minuscule, we get the contraction, after a short spell of silence, of the whole universe into a one minute summary of the whole record.

Any record that starts with a track called “Bum Love” simply has to be great? That ,and appearences from many luminaries of the DIY culture of 1980; David Cuningham,MarkPerry, Metabolist,Half Japanese. Rubbing Shoulders with serious muso's like Gavin Bryers, Nyman, Lol Coxhill,and Fred Frith.George Melly does a Dada sound poem(he was always a pretentious old cunt!),its got the great Andy Partridge on it, and isn't that Martin Chambers,the drummer from The Vacants? All this plus TheResidents,never ones to turn down a healthy concept, playing the best cover version of a Ramones tune ever!This was, after all, a less disciplined version of The Resident's “Commercial Album”,where every song finished at exactly 1.00 minutes on the dot.

Tracklist: 

		Band-1
A1	–Ollie Halsall & John Halsey	Bum Love
A2	–the Residents	We're A Happy Family / Bali Ha'i
A3	–Roger McGough	The Wreck Of The Hesperus
A4	–Morgan-Fisher	Green And Pleasant
A5	–John Otway	Mine Tonight
		Band-2
A6	–Pete Challis & Phil Diplock	My Way
A7	–Robert Wyatt	Rangers In The Night
A8	–Stinky Winkles	Opus
A9	–Mary Longford	Body Language
A10	–Andy Newman	Andy The Dentist
A11	–David Bedford	Wagner's Ring In One Minute
		Band-3
A12	–Fred Frith	The Entire Works Of Henry Cow
A13	–Maggie Nicols	Look Beneath The Surface
A14	–Joseph Racaille	Week-End
A15	–The Work	With Wings Pressed Back
A16	–Neil Innes & Son	Cum On Feel The Noize
		Band-4
A17	–Herbert Distel	Toscany In Blue (Last Minute)
A18	–Lol Coxhill	An End To The Matter
A19	–Ken Ellis	One Minute In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich
A20	–Steve Miller	Alice
		Band-5
A21	–Norman Lovett	John Peel Sings The Blues Badly
A22	–Patrick Portella	Serrons Nous Les Coudes
A23	–George Melly	Sounds That Saved My Life (Homage To K.S.)
A24	–Robert Fripp	Miniature
A25	–Andy Partridge	The History Of Rock 'N' Roll
A26	–Phantom Captain	Breather
		-
		Band-1
B1	–Ron Geesin	Enterbrain Exit
B2	–Alejandro Viñao	An Imaginary Orchestrina
B3	–Quentin Crisp	Stop The Music For A Minute
B4	–Simon Desorgher	Tetrad
B5	–Ralph Steadman	Sweetest Love (Lament After A Broken Sashcord On A Theme Of John Donne)
B6	–R.D. Laing & Son	Tipperary
		Band-2
B7	–Trevor Wishart	Beach Double
B8	–John White	Scene De Ballet
B9	–Ivor Cutler	Brooch Boat
B10	–Hector Zazou	Do Tell Us
B11	–Michael Bass & Ellen Tenenbaum	A Miniaturisation Of Bartok's Sonata For 2 Pianos & Percussion (3rd Movement)
		Band-3
B12	–Martin Chambers	A Swift One
B13	–Bob Cobbing & Henri Chopin	Refreshment Break
B14	–Dave Vanian	Night Touch
B15	–Metabolist	Raging Poodles
		Band-4
B16	–Gavin Bryars	After Mendelssohn (137 Years)
B17	–1/2 Japanese	Paint It Black
B18	–Simon Jeffes	Arthur's Treat
B19	–Mark Perry	Talking World War III Blues
B20	–Michael Nyman	89-90-91-92
		Band-5
B21	–David Cunningham	Index Of Ends
B22	–Kevin Coyne	James, Mark & Me (In The Manner Of Tom Waits)
B23	–Etron Fou Leloublan	Hep!
B24	–Neil Oram & Ken Campbell  & Science Fiction Theatre Of Liverpool	The Minute Warp
B25	–Pete Seeger	Chorale From Beethoven's 9th Symphony

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