lokiofsassgaard:
frustratedasatruar:
orchres:
Increasingly seeing posts by queer children and teens about how they’ve gotten kicked out for coming out to their parents and you can’t convince me there’s no coincidence btwn that and this very white American cisgay narrative of “coming out” and how it’s the one thing that really proves you’re LGBT but like babes….. we don’t owe anyone that. Your identity is your business. Your safety is your primary concerns, especially as a minor and an 18/19 year old, is needing time in a stable(ish) living situation and to get a bit of financial freedom and also prepare adequately emotionally to deal with the consequences of outing yourself to your parents and/guardians. We live in a society. the outcome is overwhelmingly going to be negative and I hate that this idea is pushed soooo hard in tv shows and books geared towards child and teen LGBTs
I’ve never come as nonbinary out to my parents, and every now and then I am slapped in the face with how very glad I am about that.
I got kicked out at 16 because my mum found out I had a gay FRIEND. Not even a boyfriend. Just another dude from theatre.
I didn’t come out to that raging lunatic until well into adulthood. I don’t owe that woman nothing.
Coming out should only be done if you feel safe to do so. If you’re not 100% certain, don’t do it.
Very important! Your safety and well-being comes first. Think about if it’s necessary to “come out”, what difference it would make for you, your family, your friends - positive and/or negative, and if it’s worth it.
My brother didn’t come out as gay out of concern for our parents’ reaction and his job, even though my siblings and I had known since his teenage years - until he was over 40.
My 43yo co-worker showed me a photo of her boyfriend on her phone after several years of socialising and working together - and it was a woman.
My 75 yo aunt still only hints at being a lesbian in presence of family she trusts, even though her life paints a rather obvious picture.
All are and were afraid, and unfortunately there are good reasons for that. No matter if you are afraid of serious consequences like homelessness, or just getting picked on in school - the reasons are valid, and you don’t owe this information to anyone. You’re not half a person for not having come out at a young age. Your life is still in front of you. Maybe you will reach a point where you are financially and mentally stable enough to feel ready. Or maybe you choose to keep this part of yourself private forever. No matter what you choose, you are a valid, whole and precious person.
Be safe!