The End Fanzine featued in BIG ISSUE

Big Issue 1425

There's an article about The END in this weeks Big Issue. You can buy a digital version via the link above.

Its for a great cause, so buy it yer mingebags!

John Mcglone.All the saints cant save us now.

 John McGlone - All the Saints can’t Save us Now.

 

A new solo release from the legendary frontman of Western Promise, John McGlone sees him continue to move towards a beautiful new soulful sound.

 

“All the saints can’t save us now” sees John flexing his vastly underrated vocal talents on a beautifully mellow track that evokes memories (to this humble narrator) of the Style Councils Long Hot summer era.

 

There are still echoes of the angst and anger that we have seen throughout his career as a songwriter (“So what happened to the loving.. and understanding we used to know.. and what happened to forgiveness.. lord where did it go. Because All I see is lies greed and cruelty, Hatred and bigotry right now.. we go to, Got to, Stand up for Equality, Shake the chains of slavery, Be the change you want to see somehow”)    but now we are seeing John move his talents to a newer more mature and accomplished sounding, soulful platform, and its every bit as effective and moving.

 

John is one of the regions most underrated singer / songwriter talents and has been consistently delivering amazing music over the last few decades and this solo effort is right up there with his best work.

 

Get this blasting on the drive to the beach, while the sun is raging.

 

Western Promise have taken a sabbatical, Long may McGlone reign in their absence!

*Release date August 27^th . A Download will be available on itunes.

Buy it yer mingebags!

Derby Day Ins & Outs (october 2020)

 

IN’s. 

·         Snorting Haggis.

·         Egging Jamie Bullard at every opportunity

·         Nicola Sturgeon eating a sturgeon, whilst being operated   on by a dodgy surgeon.

·         Arguing with turmeric

·         Wearing PPE to collect your MBE.

·         Building a fun pub in your cupboard. under the stairs

·         having a hot tub in your wardrobe.      

·         offering the virus out after a few 'lines'

·         Hiding in a tandoori oven

·         pretending to 'give a fuck'

·         Blaming Wigan for the pandemic.

·         Wacky tik tok pranks, eg-  deep frying your grandma in a  vat of  lard.

·         Grafters applying for Furlough

·         having a tomato as your only friend

·         The sinister return of massive turn ups 

·         Chasing your dog around the kitchen with a Carolina  reaper chilli.

·         Claiming you are an original 'Black panther' when drunk.

·         Shouting 'bring out your dead' in B@M

·         Finding a nest of Syrian refugees in your purple bin.

·         Regurgitating the same old shite

·         Whistling, psychotic, uncles.

·         Finding a clit under your mask.

·         Looking rather suspiciously at 5G masts.

·         Always mistaking fat people for each other.

·         trans fluid sprouts

·         social distance brawls.

·         getting lost on a daily basis.

·         Remembering 'how it used to be'

·         Lost pets support groups

·         Yearning for the pub snug

·         Elbow wigs

·         Forsaken foreskins

·         Winning the league after 8 games

·         Smokey Robinson eating smokey bacon crisps

·         Exploding teardrops

·         Being dishevelled

·         Marcus Rashford

·         REM losing their erections

·         Taking advantage of the hole in your sock to stash a  potato.

·         Finding comfort in Romford

·         When your plumber looks like Strummer

·         Having a stash of crank in your desk

·         Building a shed made of Lard

·         Using marmite as lube

·         When your 30 yr old colleague, who wears big baggy Emo  jeans, calls you a square

·         Selling your soul on ebay

·         Sanitised bollock wipes

·         Letting on to strangers when you’re wearing your mask

·         Shitting a conker

·         The 12” Reggae version of EastEnders

·         Levitating sprouts

·         Noddy Holder holding a cup holder whilst being bolder   than Steve Bould

·         The grizzly adams look among our yoot.

·         emerging from the lockdown looking like Bob geldof.

·         Genderfluid seekh kebabs.

·         remembering the 'gam'.

·         Lashing your ailing gran on to the streets because of the  '6' rule.

·         Trying to breed your dog with the freezer.

·         Getting caught singing 'the smurf song'.

·         Your boss’s 31yr old daughter        

          

 

OUT’s.

 

·         Getting anxious in the chippy queue

·         Nipple beards

·         Soccer AM

·         Soup toasties

·         Bloggers

·         Bubbles

·         Booking annual leave

·         BT / Sky

·         Posting corn

·         saying ;wow in french

·         Thinking you are a 'Guru'

·         Saying 100 percent

·         Re-training

·         Saying, “I can’t wait for this year to be over”

·         Remembering sitcoms

·         Tiers for fears

·         Adam and the Ants wearing jeggings at Butlins

·         Pretending to care

·         Getting a semi when you’re watching top gear

·         Killing the arts

·         Wreckless Tumeric.

·        Stroking other people’s chin’s when you are pondering a   conspiracy statement about Corona.

·         Blaming students

·         BBC (that’s the broadcasting company, folks)

·         Keir Starmer

·         Tom Watson's sickly grin

·         Anti -semetic beards,

·         That fucking 'ole ole song.

·         shouting "lad he's got a gun lad and watching hordes of  stoned youth scatter outside a pub.

·         Being somewhat ethereal

·         Being 'slightly' racist

·         Dressing your pets up as Victorian prostitutes.

·         Designer dogs with a propensity for shagging the freezer

·         Claiming you was a leading figure in the Cali cartel'

·         Saying 'drop a selfie'

·         Tommy Robinson

·         hugging

·         snogging

·         smooching

·         slippin’ and a slidin’

·         clandestine wanks under a throw.

·         Hoping for a quick 'Gam'

·         Lamping Jeremey Clarkson.

·         Defeating defeatists

·         Telling your mates child that you know who his real father is.

·         Vegan TV sets

·         Johnson’s itchy ball sack

·         Auld fellers saying “I’d eat fish and chips from her  knickers”

·         Researching coat hangers.

·         Ordering bacon on coats

·         Poking a hipster

·         Amusing/trendy masks

·         Ambushing your undies

·         Peter Cormack’s long sleeve’s.

·         Graham’s Sharpe (sic)  penis

·         Writing “sic” after a deliberate misspeling (sic)

·         Going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and   fucking on….and on

·         Still being a shagger at 61

·         Whatsapp groups

·         Holding meetings on the roundabout

·         Burger bums

·         Sidefooting a Savoy cabbage

            

Derby day Ins & Outs

(With contributions from ex End writers Tony McClelland and Paul Need)
dedicated to the memory of my mate Anthony Thompson.

Ins

• ·       A line of damp cookie dough in yer spliff
  ·         Confusing yer knickers with yer neckless
  ·         Having a “socks over your trainee’s” reunion
  ·         Boring the arse of yer kids
  ·         Doing a mime during clap for heroes
  ·         The Cotton Wool diet “it absorbs all the fat”. (*8 out of 3 trialist’s lost an   average of 3 stone a day).
  ·         Cheating in quizzes
  ·         Spray painting your testicles
  ·         Failing an M.O.T when you don’t own a car
  ·         Bullying a pickled egg.
  ·         Digging the dogging
  ·         Canny farm roundabout
  ·         Flaunting the furlough
  ·         Penis vein’d arms
  ·         Stuffing basa fillets into your t shirt to simulate having moobs
  ·         Mutating a militant, mutant.
  ·         Recalling gravy (fondly)
  ·         Revving loudly at 3am (when you don’t own a car)
  ·         Celebrating wildly whenever you hear a fart on a bus
  ·         Farting on the 10a
  ·         Incontinence plants
  ·         Resembling custard
  ·         Cactus cock syndrome
  ·         Saying “honestly,” before telling a blatant lie. (I honestly, love it when   people do that).
  ·         the famous, British, “stiff upper, fanny, lip”
  ·         Pondering what to rename your Jap’s-eye, during these politically correct   times.
  ·         Curried corduroy
  ·         Practising post lockdown chat up lines
  ·         Mowing astro turf
  ·         Drinking a pint of Singleman’s special reserve
  ·         Having a turbulent Sunday
  ·         Knowing a Kestrel from a Mohawk
  ·         Asking your barber to give you a Kestrel haircut
  ·         Finding solace in humus
  ·         Danish Bacon Flip flops
  ·         Being inclined to boredom wanks
  ·         Rediscovering Haircut 100
  ·         Always having a frozen carrot at hand.
  ·         Will Self
  ·         Will Power
  ·         ♫ Will you still love me tomorrow ♫ (when I have morning breath and I'm   firing out Kebab farts)?
  ·         Using bags of cod-in-butter-sauce as shoe insoles
  ·         Plopping yer false teeth in your mates red wine
  ·         Knee-capping a whale.
  ·         BLM
  ·         BLT
  
  

  Outs

  
  
  ·         ALM
  ·         BHS
  ·         Skinny jeans
  ·         Skinny jeans on fat hipsters
  ·         Hipsters
  ·         Twatting anyone who says “Baller”
  ·         Jose, the grim reaper of football.
  ·         Making pallets from garden furniture.
  ·         Throwing a surprise birthday party when you're self isolating
  ·         Going on a tinned meat diet.
  ·         Banging on about how many miles you walked.
  ·         Making up a conspiracy theory and believing it.
  ·         Taking quizzes seriously
  ·         Calling on “all footy lads”
  ·         Calling on all footy lads and then shitting out and not attending
  ·         Footy Lads answering the call
  ·         Algorithms
  ·         Discussing fish
  ·         Any puns ending with “lives matter”
  ·         Gin, with a hint of Bono,
  ·         Conspiracy theorist’s (especially regarding corona)
  ·         Working with wool Liverpool fans (not from Liverpool) who just   don’t get The S*n thing
  ·         Tik tok tits
  ·         Life size, Player, cardboard cut-outs
  ·         Corona blogs
  ·         Belting out the Steve Gerrard (fell on his arse) song at home   during the derby (even though there isn’t a Liverpool fan present)
  ·         Working at home
  ·         Working at home & bargains
  ·         Working at Hulme
  ·         Woking and Hulme.
  ·         Fitbit tits
  ·         Olives
  ·         Olive armies
  ·         Attempting to hire a minibus for lockdown away games at your   mates gaffe
  ·         Saying “during these troubled times”
  ·         London’s finest mobbing girls picnicking.
  ·         Building a drinks cabinet under your stairs.
  ·         Free mugs from sports direct
  ·         Lockdown orgies in crocky park
  ·         Calling people murderers (unless applied to police officials)
  ·         Garden Shed lock-ins
  ·         Using “banter” to excuse shitty comments and behaviour
  ·         Vegan Pencil sharpeners
  ·         Specialising in prem league left backs
  ·         No-neck’d red-necks.
  ·         Shorts and desert boots combo’s