My wife drives me crazy all the time we have young children and when it gets to the evenings and When she sees that I’ve just started doing something or checked my phone once she goes out of her way to ask me to do things for the children that she could easily just do. I know it’s petty but when she does this enough I just explode and cause an argument and that’s that for the next few days . It’s driving me mad. I do enough for and with my children . She does more and I’m not asking for help to stop her asking me to do something. But how can I relax my mind from exploding when I know what she is doing. I hope this makes sense . I really want to improve my day to day life and let things brush over me and get on with it.
As the title says, in some certain of time there are some people who annoyed me in the past, one day I started thinking about these situations and these people, and it is annoying me, I think my mind is trying to play with me, I become somehow anxious because these thoughts come to me, these thoughts can be about annoying people who annoyed me in the past or of mistakes I made, I wanna live the moment and live happily without ever thinking about these annoying stuffs.
I am not sure how to describe it but I have a problem with my self reflection. I know myself so well that I always understand why I want to do the things I do. And that makes me believe that my intentions are somehow pathetic. Because most of the time they really are. I hate being a victim and I hate how my past has influenced me and my choices. I don't want to follow my own advice because it shows me the truth about myself. Very often I want to do immoral and stupid thing that I consider fun. So I just do them. I don't hate myself afterwards because I know exactly why I did them. My conscience feels like an illness and I do feel bad after being "evil" or manipulativ. I act like a psychopath even though I have a lot of empathy. And I am not able to change because I already know what I need to do but I don't want to do it. I am to stubborn to admit that some things are out of my control. My therapist can't help me because I already know everything he tells me. He said that I need to want change. And the thing is...I really don't know if I do. It would be easy if I had no conscience. I don't know how to solve this problem. Does anyone have the same experience?
Basically i realised the fact that i spend far too much time on things, which means at the end of each day I've barely completed the 3 things i said I'd do that day which means i have no chance to implement the other 5 things that i need to do but never find the time to.
I always find myself googling "I am too slow at everything" and every time when i see the same 2 results pop up i remember the fact that i searched this exact phrase befo2re, and have never really found anything useful. It's also a reason im so afraid of doing things i don't want to do ( but have to eventually get to) versus doing things i actually like and think will benefit me in the long run, because it feels like I'll only ever have time to do one of them.
For example, i need to study for college, but i also want to get better at this language im learning. I quite literally never get to studying for college because im desperately trying to do my daily practice for the language and by the time i ""finish"", if i even do that, its 11pm and i can't study now because i can't focus this late at night.
I also feel like i can't start my day WITH studying for college because (and this has happened many times before) I'll spend the entire day trying to study the ONE chapter i assigned to myself that day and still not be able to finish. I tried many times to tell myself "Ill give myself three hours, three! Thats more than enough time, i should be finished by then" but i never am, and before i know it its already 10pm.
And my language studies aren't even hefty. I do my Anki (an srs program) for vocabulary, try to read and understand a few articles, and do some listening practice. I still want to do grammar and some writing, but like i said, i can't fit them in because im so painfully slow at everything.
I tried to note where my time goes in a day, and i still can't tell what im doing wrong
I know i have a bad habit at staring at my phone screen while my brain is off doing something else for an extended period of time (I've been trying to fix this), but otherwise im just genuinely really slow at everything i do. I do have (major) perfectionist tendencies, but even for things where i feel like im doing the bare minimum (like reading an article in a foreign language while trying to understand the gist of it. I have a hover-over dictionary for words i don't know and the website im reading on specifically makes easy articles, so its not like im taking on a super-daunting task) Im still moving at a snails pace, and its impacting literally everything i do.
What can i do to improve this? I genuinely need a speed boost so i don't always feel like my day consists of 6 hours instead on 24, and at this point starting ANYTHING is extremely nerve racking because i just feel like its going to eat away at my whole day, every day, especially if its something i already don't like doing (like studying) and I'll never have time for anything else. Any help, please?
Hey, lately I (M25) have been feeling really comfortable around 2 male friends. I really like those guys and feel am really happy to be around them. I also think they are really nice looking guys.
For some reason this has given me some anxiety. I feel as if these feelings might be "gay". I am not sexually attracted, nor would I like to be in a relationship with either one of them or any man for that matter. I have been in relationships with women and always felt sexually attracted to women. I have never considered being a homosexual nor have ever doubted my sexuality.
I am constantly arguing with myself that these feelings are normal and that liking my same sex friends does not make me gay, but I somehow can not shake this feeling off.
Has anyone delt with anything like this ? How can I stop self sabotaging myself ?
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