I (38M) am in the process of a high- conflict divorce. 5 years in the making after 8 years married. 5 months ago I met a wonderful woman, she has been very understanding with the situation with my soon to be ex and kids. We’ve put off sleeping over since I was still living with my wife in our house. A couple of weeks ago, the court ordered my wife to move out and we now exchange the kids every week. This was her week with the kids and my girlfriend and I decided to finally have a sleepover.
Throughout the whole divorce process I have been having trouble sleeping, and have been taking sleeping pills on and off for the past 6 months. This week was particularly hard with the kids out of the house and by Thursday I had had a total 10 hours of sleep. So I go to the pharmacy to get sleeping pills. My girlfriend has already warned me she is a light sleeper and has a strict schedule of going to sleep at 10pm. So I want our first night to go well with no disturbance from me. Secondly, my experience has taught me that I need at least 3 sleeping pills to feel the effects and even then they take a few hours to kick in. Granted, I’ve never used this particular brand but I trust my experience, given that I’m 115kg and 2,01m and don’t drink or take drugs, it might be that I’m just not that responsive to sleeping agents.
So I get to her house after a tough day in the office where I had to let go of staff. I’m sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted. We order pizza and salad and when it arrives we sit down to eat. It’s around 7pm, so I decide to take the pills then so they would have time to do their thing. We get through the salad, and by the time we get to the pizza I’m starting to feel woozy. By the end of the meal, I can’t see straight, its difficult to form sentences and I’m experiencing very strong hiccups.
My girlfriend sits me on the couch and rubs my back to help with the hiccups, and within 20 minutes they’re gone. She helps me brush my teeth and helps me into bed. It’a just after 8pm and she jumps in the bed with me and rubs my back and arms until I’m asleep.
Next thing I know, I feel a fart coming on and just let it rip. As you can guess, it was a trick my sphincter was playing on my sleeping-pill-soaked brain and I go on to make a deposit of loose change in my underpants. I jump out of the bed and run to the bathroom. I try to quietly clean up and long story short, I go through a roll of toilet paper and ruin two hand towels and the little carpet by the toilet in the process. I get out of the bathroom and run into my very worried girlfriend pacing the hallway. I tell her what happened and she bursts out laughing, tells me not to worry and after assuring me I didn’t shit the bed as well, puts me back to sleep.
I woke up this morning to a clean bathroom, laundered towels and underwear AND a fresh cup of coffee. She’s a keeper :)
Lesson: not all sleeping pills are equal, some come with added sharts.
TLDR- underestimated strength and side effects of sleeping pills and shat myself on first sleepover with new girlfriend
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A few months ago, my girlfriend realized she might be bisexual because she found her female coworker attractive. She went through an identity crisis, as she's religious and thought this was a 'sin'. She stopped eating, struggled sleeping, and was overall depressed for an entire month. Well, she eventually embraced the fact that she might be bi and stopped being depressed. Since it was only 1 girl she found attractive, she didn't know if it was isolated to that girl or if she was actually bi. So, wanting to help her in her journey of self discovery, I suggested that she download a dating app like Bumble/Tinder. I advised her to set the filter to only see girls, then start swiping and see if she found any girls attractive. I told her I'm fine with her flirting with girls on the app just to see how she feels about it.
Well, my advice might have worked well. TOO well. She started swiping, found other girls she found attractive too, and started talking to them. Then she started FaceTiming one of them. Then she told me that she has feelings for her. Well, she recently told me that if the girl asks her to date, she will say yes. She apologized and said that she has to know what it's like to date a girl. The worst part is, they have never even met up. I'm still talking to her, but don't consider her my Girlfriend anymore and am basically counting down the days until the other girl decides to ask her out, which apparently will be very soon. We're still on good terms and none of this happened with a fight, we're fine with each other. But the past few days, she's just been crying a lot apologizing for putting us and herself in this position. The past few days, she's completely disappeared on me and has just been FaceTiming the girl the entire day/night. It's definitely over.
Overall, the thing that kills me the most is that she wouldn't have even met this girl if I hadn't told her to download a dating app. I'm glad I helped her discover herself, but it was at the cost of our relationship. Another horrible part for me is the fact that she hasn't even met this girl in person yet.
TL;DR: Girlfriend suspected that she might be bisexual. I suggested that she get a dating app to test the waters. She got a dating app, found a girl that she developed strong feelings for, and is likely leaving my very soon for this girl.
6613
17I bought a GameStop stock before Black Friday with the goal of riding with the stock until after the holidays because why not. I sold my stock on 12/14 because I was losing money and figured “it was only going down hill from here and plus it was just 1 stock, it’s not like it’s going to be $346.37 dollars a share or anything”
I fucked up big time. That 12 dollar stock could have gotten me close to 400 or even 500 dollars. This is why I’m a Biology major and not in Finances.
I take full responsibility. I wish I can go back and not only kept the stock but brought more than 1 share (I brought only 1 since I’m a broke college student working minimum wage).
Tl;Dr I am a big dumb dumb and sold my 1 share of GameStop worth 12 dollars before they blew up on the Stock Market.
Edit: forgot to add proof GameStop tifu
Edit 2: Thank you all for stopping by. I wish you all a good day 🙂
Final Edit: I corrected the Brought line. My apologies, I was writing the post on my phone during my lunch break and I guess I had a lapse of judgement when editing the post and my apologies again for not editing it sooner, life got in the way. Thank you all so much for reading this and for the kind words. I hope you all have a great day/weekend.
A pretty minor mess up but a bummer in any case.
A few hours ago I received a new SDD for my main desktop so that I could squeeze out some better load times on some of my more used programs, Steam included.
Not really thinking about it, I decide to go ahead and hit the uninstall for Steam thinking it would just remove the program itself and headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Coming back I notice it's completed, along with a string of text showing on the uninstaller showing it also went thru the steamapps folder, scrubbing all 1.3 TB of installed games and several years of built up custom files for Doom 2 and Team Fortress that disn't get saved on steam cloud.
tl;dr: Uninstalled Steam to reinstall on a different drive, ended up accidentally deleting all of my games.
Background: I (36m) am a HS teacher and we are in school on a hybrid model. Half the kids are in the building on a given day.
Earlier this year the tech team installed a microphone/speaker system in every classroom to help masked teachers communicate more effectively. They warned us multiple times about muting ourselves when we leave the room or have a private conversation. But it only takes one mistake to have a royal fuck up.
So, during a morning class today I pop over to the bathroom (which is literally next to my classroom) to relieve myself. I peed and washed my hands. Pretty straightforward.
But when I set foot back in that classroom I realized what I had just done. The ten 15 year olds in the room where looking at me in wild disbelief. I looked down at the mic hanging around my neck and said “oh, I forgot to mute, didn’t I?”.
The remainder of class was the most awkward 45 minutes of my life. The kids mostly laughed it off but there was still the weirdness hanging in the room. Thank god for the weekend.
TLDR: I went to the bathroom with my teaching microphone unmuted and my students heard me taking a piss.
So two days ago i received an email, allegedly from my bank, saying that they needed to verify my identity since i have never send any personal documents. The email adress looked rather fishy, as in phishing ya get mee Heyoo, so i just replied to with a casual "seems legit", eventhough a lot of effort was put in to make it actually seem legit.
A day later i recieve a reply saying the bank employee understood my concern, but really asked if i could verify my identity. The mail even told me i could use a mobile phone app from the bank to go about this task.
Ofcourse like any sensible person would, i offered my sincerest regrets and sent an image to verify my identity... Exept this image was a very very nasty image of a disgusting close up asshole taking a huge shit. Take that you scammer! A whole day went by and i hadn't heard from the scammer since, so i was very content with myself. Untill... I received a LETTER AT MY HOME ADRES from the bank, saying that they had asked me to verify my identity, to wich i had sent a very inappropriate reply, and if i were not to identify myself within 14 days my account would get frozen.
Well i guess you all can imagine the horror i experienced reading the letter and i guess i have an actual sincere apologie to make.
TL;DR: Got asked by my bank to verify my identity, sent a picture of a disgusting pooping anus instead because i thought i was getting scammed and got sent a letter on my adres telling me my account would get frozen in 14 days.
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Fuckup of the Week Winners
June 2019 | /u/Lemiius | TIFU by performing the "Major Tom" technique and now I think I'm going to be disowned
April 2019 | /u/Donthitsubmit3 | TIFU by submitting hardcore furry erotica instead of my final paper.
May 2019 | /u/Taway1234123491121 | TIFU: I have officially branded myself as the biggest perv... and I 100% deserve it...