NO REST FOR THE AWAKE - MINAGAHET CHAMORRO

One of the earliest Chamoru translations of an American pop song I ever did.  I came across it recently while I was searching on some old external hard drives.  It is to the tune of the Coldplay song "Clocks"which came out in 2002.  I remember I had started translating the song, working to come up with some basic lyrics.  I was hindered in my translation by the fact that the title frankly, gi minagahet was weird or sucked in Chamoru.  Clocks, didn't make sense in Chamoru. It may barely make sense in English for the song gi minagahet.  "Reloh siha" mungga yu' nu enao lol.  This was very early in my Chamoru learning journey, I was functionally fluent, but still making mistakes all the time and my Chamoru sounded like it was stiff and dry, straight out of a grammar book, because I lacked the basic organic feeling of being part of a language community.  The ways that emerge sometimes for an individual, a family, a village, a people to build off of the rules. To

Mad Boy's Love Song (After Mad Girl's Love Song) I close my eyes and the world drops dead The curtain of blackness falls, blanketing a cruel reminder that I think I made you up inside my head You as a thunderbird is all I see roaring, splitting silence Trailing behind you twinkling smiling newborn stars thatform a shower up above In your afterglow, I hear the stars trickle down the blackcurtain of a world dropped dead I feel them fill the lines in my face, finding their way into the strings that tie together my life, dripping along and spiraling deeper and deeper until my every moment becomes bewitched When I lift my lids, all is born again, but now water-colored with you instead  The straining of my grocery bags, is the crinkling of your skirt The scratch on my car hood, follows the curves of your leg   Every bump in the road, is my eyes tracing the tempting lines of your fingertips The red of the shampoo bottle, glistens with the faintness of your lips White sheets of paper,

Kada diha mamomokkat yu’ gi este na tåno’ Nina’homhom ni’ malamaña na halomtåno’ Bula trongko guini, lao labula triniste Labula chinatpågo, labula pinadesi   Sesso sinekkai yu’ ni todu este Kulang råmas, kalaktos kånnai Ginen i mantaklalu na trongko siha   Tåya’ deskånsa, tåya’ fanliheng’an   Lao kada diha anai tumunok ta’lo i atdao Ya mahuchom i ha’åni Linemlem yu’ ni oriyå-hu Sa’ kada nai i tai’ase na somnak Ha dingu i tano’ Ha na’lå’la’la’ lokkue’ i flores gi hatdin-mu   Ya ginen i hinemhom na halomtåno’ Hu tattitiyi ayu Esta ki humuyong yu’ Gi halom i hatdin-mu Bula flores Mannina’dokko’ nu i puti’on siha gi hilo’-hu   Ya guihi lokkue’ guaha såddok Ya i hanom-ña kulang bino Ya kada hu galamok, nina’malulok yu’ Ya nina’maigo’ yu’ lokkue’ Gi mañaña yan maipeñaihon na chå’guan

"Glass Kiss"   I can taste the ocean between us As I step towards you, it wades against me, salt stinging to my skin Your eyes are set, chained to the horizon Reminding me that I find it hard to breathe when you are not looking at me You are whispering something But it is lost in the wind, as if drowned quietly in the spiral corridors of a seashell As you turn and see my approach The ocean sighs, waters parting, revealing the heart of the world As I pull you to me, I gasp, as if searching for the land’s last breath When our lips meet, the ocean pours into the earth’s core Cooling every heat filled moment I have shared with you The sky trembles, lightning piercing all And you are forever mine in a sea of newborn glass

"Blue" I’m trying to find something she left, A kiss that has long been taped to my mind It was left there long ago, by someone who had no business inside my skull But found her way there, during a sweaty afternoon, complete with grass stains and sword cuts that stretched like clues on puzzle pieces from her limbs to mine At one point that kiss was an itch, a scar carved upon my memories, that blocked the flow of daily traffic, always taking my thoughts through detours towards that afternoon, when without a moment’s notice, she planted that kiss upon my life I would spend days taping, rock hammer rapping at the side of my skull, splintering bone and feeding air to that starving scar. Desperate to keep it alive, to force feed nourishment into the scar, to keep it crisp, to keep it breathing, humming, dancing between life and death.  But I simply write around that kiss. As I reach into my skull, digging for that scarred memory, as my own irritated bone tears into my finger fles

 I have been spending quite a bit of 2020 reflecting back on past relationships, especially ones where I was in situations with people who up until today still perplex me, still confuse me, still frustrate me, when thinking about to the time I spent with them. Sometimes there is anger in these reflections, especially when I recall some who entered into a relationship with me, not being honest about what they wanted or who they were, even if I had tried my best to be honest with them.  Someday I might want to write a book or something, since so many of them were interesting in their own, ridiculous ways.  I was recalling today one past relationship, that sometimes I smirkingly refer to as "the chosen one." She strongly felt that she had a great destiny. That she was smart and strong and that she was gonna change this island. She was gonna save the Chamoru people. She was drawn to me because of my activism and wanting to talk about revolutionary change, about what the Chamoru p

I remembering going out with someone, where just about everything I was attracted to about her, she was terrified and anxious about. It was a weird abrupt sort of relationship. One that I sometimes reflect back on and still feel puzzled about.  For example, I felt attracted to her because she liked to read. But after we began going out, I soon realized that for her, reading was something she did alone and didn't talk about it with others. None of her friends would read for fun and so she became incredibly anxious when I would want to talk to her about what she was reading and what I was reading.  She loved when I picked out books for her and gave them to her, thinking about what I felt she might enjoy reading, given the places she was at in her life. But she wouldn't talk to me about what she was reading and she would shut down if I tried to talk to her. For me, I love books and love reading, and I read things I never talk to anyone about and read things that I love to talk to

Duru manhasso yu’ Put i orå-ta på’go na puengi  Anai umapacha hit put kånnai, lassas, labios I patten hågu ti manmaleffåyon Gi asson-hu guini anai esta ma’pos hao Gagaige ha’ hao gi fi’on-hu Hu nginge’ hao, hu siente hao  Ti siña maleffa yu’ i minaipe-mu gi hinagong-mu gi matå-hu Este todu muna’mongmongmong i korason-hu Ya muna’kakai ha’ i minaigo’-hu

For my intermediate Chamoru coffeeshop classes, which during the current lockdown, have been moved online, we translate a Chamoru song into English each week. We listen to the song twice, go over the lyrics, sometimes talk about the cultural dimensions of the song or the metaphors and history that it invokes. It is one of my favorite ways to teach the language, since it involves not only teaching the language itself, but also making connections across generations and sometimes using the nostalgia that people have to encourage further learning. My lyrics are often from just listening since few Chamoru albums include lyrics. This means that sometimes my lyrics are slightly to noticeably off. But even years after doing this regular assignment, I still learn new things from this exercise, even for myself. Sometimes I hear lyrics in a new way and realize I was singing them wrong for years. Last week, at the request of one of my students, we translated the song "An Mo'na Hao&quo;

I once had the experience of being in a short, intense and confusing relationship with someone for a single month. Desde gualafon asta gualafon. From full moon to full moon, we fell in love and then I watched as she, following the phases of the moon, disappeared into the darkness of the sky and rapidly fell out of love. It was a strange experience because it felt deep and felt real, but then disappeared, out of my grasp like trying to catch the moon or its light between finger-lengths.  At the end of that bewildering experience, I wrote this poem, trying to take stock of what had happened, but also somehow hoping that with the changing of the moon again, she might come back, and the light that lit up her face and the sky might return. It did not.  *********************** Pulan Kada puengi  Anai hu atan hulo’ gi langhet Ya hu li’e’ i pilan Bai hu hahasso hao Ya bai hu na’hasson mamaisa yu’ Na hunggan i pilan yanggen tumaigue Guaha triniste gi tinaigu

When relationships end, people may fight over pets, fight over furniture, collections, kids. One thing that has always struck me, for certain, but not all relationship apocalypses is songs. Music where affection and attachment were forged and welded together with tunes and lyrics from particular artists. It provides the rhythm to togetherness, to grooves of the “us.” When a relationship ends, the rhythm of togetherness sometimes sours, turns grimly bitter. What once caused joy, now feels like it creates bone cancer. Songs or artists that I shared with someone and used to make me smile, now make me retch, make the skies insidiously darken in the space between beats. The muscles remember, even what the mind or heart wishes it could forget. For one particularly tough relationship, the music of Tegan and Sara was part of the soundtrack of us. For years I enjoyed it alongside her. For my girlfriend at the time, she was a twin and adored the duo, and introduced me to their music

The Guam Bus is a creative collective run by brothers – Michael and Jack Lujan Bevacqua (Familian Kabesa yan Bittot) – that produces and publishes Chamoru-themed books, comics and other educational materials aimed at promoting the Chamoru language, culture.  On Saturday, November 16 th , 2019 – from 9 am – 12 pm, at Java Junction, the Guam Bus will be launching its newest publication,  Hu Guaiya Hao Taiguihi,  a bilingual Chamoru-English children’s book, that is ideal for young readers. The book launch will feature readings, activities, a free Chamoru language lesson and also refreshments. It is open to everyone. Hu Guaiya Hao Taiguihi  is the third Chamoru-language children’s book published by The Guam Bus. The first,  Sumåhi and the Karabao  was published in 2015 and features different stories of karabao in Chamoru culture and Guam history. The second,  The Adventures of Akli’e’  was published in 2017 and provides stories of Guam legends and traditional Chamoru farming tools

For the past few months my Saturday morning Chamoru coffee shop classes have been structured around two activities. Each class begins with the translation of a Chamoru song into English. Usually the students get to the pick the particular song, or at least the type of song. Second, we go through a longer narrative, sometimes a story, a speech or a poem in Chamoru and also spend time translating it and practicing reading it. As a result of this, I've been translating lots of Chamoru songs lately. When I first started learning Chamoru, gi minagahet, I was terrible at transcribing Chamoru songs. I hadn't grown up with the ear for hearing or catching Chamoru and so my transcriptions of songs were often wildly inaccurate. For the first few years I had people both politely and impolitely correct my attempts at transcription and then translation. My ear for Chamoru has gotten better, but I still struggle sometimes with particular artists who may have their own flair for pronunciat

Guaha meggai na tinilaika gi på'go na såkkan. Meggai nuebu na siniente-ku ya guaha na biahi kulang machuchuda' enao siha gi sanhalom-hu. Fihu anggen taiguenao yu', ya-hu sumotta sina gi tinge'-hu, kolo'lo'ña betsu pat po'ema siha.  Todu i tinige'-hu guini put guinaiya. Sa' ma'pos un eståba na guinaiya yan manaliligao yu' nuebu.  Estague i betsu-hu sina, ni' hu tuge' gi halacha na tiempo.  ****************** Mungga masukne yu' Nåna na ti hu na'funhåyan i tarehå-hu Sukne si Yu'os Sa' guiya muna'fanhuyong Ayu na palao'an ******************* Tumutunok i pilan Lao olahan moon Na mana'påra i tininok-ña Ya ti hu fåkpo' Este linangitan na råtu Nai hågu gi tinektok-hu ******************** I mangga gi hilo'-mu gi trongko achamames yan i labios-mu I puti'on siha gi langhet gi hilo'-mu manachagefpågo yan i matå-mu I pilan gi hilo'-mu gof takhilo' achafinu

On Facebook I have a regular informal series titled "Adventures in Chamorro." It ranges from stories of speaking Chamorro with my kids, protests, decolonization activism and also teaching Chamorro at UOG. I have not been on a hike in quite a while and so here are two stories dealing with hiking and my students at UOG. ********************* Adventures in Chamorro #234: For my Chamorro language classes I often have them write up some simple love poetry. I normally begin those assignments by talking about most elderly Chamorros refer to as traditional Chamorro courtship rituals. As Spanish Catholic influence made it very difficult for young unmarried men and women to interact with each other romantically, so much of the courtship happened in secret or through intermediaries known as "chule'guagua'" or "basket carr iers." It was a time of early-morning meetings down by the riverbank, sneaking away to the blindspots behind churches or nig

Lumi’of yu’ gi tasi Tahdong, tahdongña ki hu hongge Mañodda’ yu’ tahgong Gi sen manengheng na unai Annai hu chule’ gui’ hulo’ para i sakmån-hu Hu pega gui’ kontra i talanga’-hu I fetgon pinachå-ña mamesña ki hu hongge Ya hu hungok Kumunananaf hulo’ i kantå-mu A’gangña ki i hesguan binibon tåsi Tinektoktok ni’ pappa’ påkyo’ Ya hu tungo’ na gaisiente este na kånta Tahdongña ki hu hongge Dumesnik hao gi me’nå-hu Ma’lakña ki i langhet Mañiñila ni’ mit chålan na puti’on ********************** I dove into the ocean Deep, deeper than I believed I found a shell In the freezing cold sand And when I took it back up to my canoe I placed it against my ear The wet touch sweeter than I believed And I heard Your song crawling up Louder than the jealous fury of the ocean Embraced by the wings of a storm And I know that this song has feeling Deeper than I believed You appeared before me Brighter than the sky I

INDEPENDENT GUÅHAN HOLDS ITS FEBRUARY GENERAL ASSEMBLY MEETING Will discuss the importance of environmental stewardship under the theme of “Hu Guaiya iya Guåhan.” Independent Guåhan invites the public to its monthly General Assembly (GA) meeting on Thursday, February 23rd from 6 – 7:30 pm at the Main Pavilion of the Chamorro Village in Hagåtña. The theme for this GA is “Hu Guaiya Iya Guåhan” and will focus on efforts to encourage environmental stewardship through the revitalization of Chamorro values.   The Inifresi outlines the six core elements that we must protect and defend in order to sustain and prosper as a community. This month’s GA will focus on the importance of tåno’ (land) and how an independent Guåhan can help protect this essential element of life. Over the past century, the Chamorro relationship to land has changed dramatically, primarily because of postwar displacement and changes in Guam’s economy. Land has moved from being somethin

Several years ago this poem was used in the Inacha'igen Fino' CHamoru at the University of Guam as part of the poetry recitation category. This is a Middle School category where students have to memorize and then recite a poem written in the Chamorro language. I was honored that year when the other Chamorro teachers, who were and continue to be far more versed than I am in the Chamorro language, asked me if I would be so kind as to submit something. I had written this poem years earlier, while I was in grad school and working my way through a few books by Indian poets and authors such as Rabindranath Tagore. At that point I was fluent in Chamorro, but constantly feeling alone in the language as I was staying in San Diego and couldn't always make it out to the Guam Club in National City for the senior lunches or the nobenas. During that period I ended up translating hundreds of poems and songs, some of which you can find archived on this blog, in an effort to keep my min