L’il Donnie Presents: BIG FAT TREASON-BURGER®

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Eric Trump Presents: Trump Winery®. Who knew that plain old Smuckers® jelly grapes could be stomped on by underpaid Mexicans and sold for $50/bottle? Prodigal son Eric did! All Trump® wines** are renowned among really classy people who totally like to party in a...

TRUMP® MODELS EXCLUSIVE OFFER: Planning a fabulous country club birthday party for your prodigal male puberteen? Then don't miss your chance to give him a night he'll never forget! Order the ultimate, super-classy boys' coming-of-age entertainment package. (Pole NOT...

Trump University lawsuit still not settled! Unfair! I told L’il Donnie to give those ingrates 2% off NEW Trump® Alchemy Academy. FINAL OFFER!

TRUMP® VODKA: Archer Daniels Midland Industrial Ethanol Never Tasted SO FUCKING CLASSY! (Now in unbreakable plastic luxury!) Bankruptcy Liquidation now underway!

Mar-a-Lago®, President Trump's glamorous private country club, is open for business! If you're a foreign leader (or CEO) who likes golf, huge shrimp cocktails, doing generous business with the Trump® family, or negotiating international treaties far from the glare of...

Introducing Melania® FLOTUS™ – “So good for ‘float us’ over dirty ground waters into penthouse with Evian waters!” ON SALE NOW! ? ? ?? ?

Join Trump® Mar-a-Lago today to enjoy fabulous front-row seats at ALL weekend nuclear crises! Free hot & cold buffet included! Supplies limited!

Introducing MELANIA® - THE FINE ART COLLECTION. Only the finest, most classiestest, 100% authentic replicas of priceless artworks from Trump® Museum of Class™. Available Now!

Introducing all-new, super-classy... TRUMP® MEALS ON WHEELS™ My food plan is just like my healthcare plan:...