shout out to all the people who identify with gifted kid burnout syndrome who are probably just neurodivergent but werent diagnosed as a child, who used to devour books like it was nothing and never really understood why the protagonist would leave their cool fantasy world behind to go back home at the end of the story, and who are now extremely disappointed in reality and use escapism as their primary coping mechanism. how’s that bisexuality and deep-rooted anger at the school system going for you?
op you couldve jus come to my house n punched me in the face
Crowley accidentally getting into an argument with an astrophysicist, proving all current scientific theories flawed, and providing a brand new theory with solid foundations.
It gets dubbed the devils theory, or in some places, the serpents science.
Carin this is the perfect addition!
Crowley getting invited to give guest lectures at conferences. He figures he’ll be rude and obnoxious, comes in wearing heelies and a crop top that says ‘bottom space bitch’, and the guests loose their fucking minds.
They love him!
I can just imagine Crowley’s reaction to all of this!!! He would be like
“Come on!!! I look horrible and disrespectful!!! Kick me out!!!”
And they’re like “no! You’re exactly what we need! Someone with fresh ideas and uncaring of the stuffy rules academics have in place”
The lecture hall is packed, experts and students alike attending from all over the world. Anyone would feel honored by the attendance, not to mention the buzz the event has been generating for nigh a year. Rumors were flying, whispers about the potential of a Nobel Prize being awarded.
Any normal human would be feeling at least a bit anxious, probably sweating and dropping notecards all over the place in a tizzy of excited nerves.
Good thing Crowley isn’t human, then.
Aziraphale was in the audience, of course. Aziraphale, the angel who never let him live his mistake down, who brandished his book at any and every possible moment like both weapon and shield, only ever silenced if Crowley managed to kiss the thoughts out of that heavenly body.
He’s going to kill him. But it’ll be worth it to get everyone off his back.
It’s time. Throwing open the door to the hall, Crowley announces his entrance by taking the loudest, most obscene slurp ever heard in the history of man from his 7/11 slurpee, burping immediately after. The room goes silent at once, every eye on him as he rolls down the aisle in freshly bought heelies, standing tall to proudly display the hot pink crop top he’s wearing. Obnoxious and curly letters proclaim “Bottom Space Bitch” in loud colors, most definitely an eyesore to any who look at it. Forfeiting his normal skinny jeans, he sports a pair of space-print leggings (styled after Alpha Centurii, of course) that leave nothing to the imagination, every curve of his body on display. On top his head rests a dark green beanie, a silver snake adorning it.
It doesn’t take long for him to find his angel’s horrified face and he tosses him a wink, raising the slurpee cup in greeting. The embarrassment ripe in those eyes causes him to chuckle, taking another noisy drink.
Not a sound beyond his own can be heard in the room as he rolls to the stage, deciding to put a pin in the entire affair by jumping directly up to the raised floor rather than taking the stairs like a civilized being. He’s a demon, after all; manners only matter if they serve his purpose.
I did it, he thinks, turning to gaze upon the stunned audience. I’ve broken their admiration.
He hasn’t felt this proud since designing the M25.
“Hello,” he says, tapping the mic and grinning when feedback echoes throughout the room. “I’m Anthony J. Crowley, and everything you thought you knew is wrong.“
Before he can continue the entire room stands, their boisterous applause causing him to take a step back in surprise. What’s this? Whistles break out of the crowd, and people begin shouting absolutely ridiculous things.
“What a breath of fresh air!”
“Thank you for bringing life into the field again!”
“Your shirt is amazing!”
Mouth open, he pops down his sunglasses, eyes scanning the crowd is disbelief. They… like it? This train wreck of a man he created?
Well, now what is he supposed to do?
His gaze lands on Aziraphale, sitting in third row center, arms folded and laughing the hardest he’s ever seen. Eyes narrowing, he hisses under his breath.
This event just turned from fun prank into boring lecture.
And he’s going to make sure to thank Aziraphale for it later. Properly.
To quote ye gods of old…. my hand slipped.
bonus:
💙💜🖤❤️🧡💛💚
wow
just thought i would bring this back so i can see it more often
So this was in the Boston globe, and if I hadn’t read it myself I would have thought it was an Onion article. The lady wants walls again because now when she is working in the kitchen, her husband is in full view sitting watching TV and doing nothing. When they had walls, she was basically less aware of how ignored she was while being a hard-working woman and housewife. They don’t need walls, they need a marriage counselor.
I went looking for this on TikTok and I found a near identical one except he hits himself over the head with a frying pan. The effects are exactly as spectacular as this video 😂
when we try to befriend cats we mimic their meows and get down on the ground to their level and try to gently coax them to interact with us right
that horrifying entity mimicking human noises at us maybe just thinks we’re cool and wants to pet us?
had to draw it
a few people pointed out that they probably wouldn’t understand what they were saying and just mimicking whatever sounds they happen to hear so I wanted to add this
There’s different colors representing different sea creatures ❤️🌊
Just a little reminder that the US Military is the world’s biggest polluter.
The fight against ecological disaster must include fighting the war machine!
Buy Poseidon devotional jewelry from here to help save the oceans boom
guys it gets even better! not only are they cleaning up our oceans, which in and of itself would be AMAZING, but they’re using their project to better the world in other ways too, including:
employing local women in Bali for 80% of their workforce
offering a Closed-Loop program for customers to return broken/worn out products (they have stuff other than bracelets too!) to be recycled again
donating $25,000 to Monterey Bay Aquarium for sea otter conservation, another $25,000 to Global Penguin Society, $10,000 to Ric O’Barry’s Dolphin Project, $25,000 to Captains For Clean Water to support Everglades restoration, $25,000 to The Marine Mammal Center in Hawaii for the care of critically endangered Hawaiian Monk Seals,
$20,000 to BirdLife International for seabird conservation,
$24,528 to Earth Day network to support the Canopy Project - a global campaign to plant 7.8 billion trees by 2020, and more
additionally, “donated $21,325 in 2018 and will donate another $10,000 in 2019 to support the production of powerful media and art that drive crucial conservation wins while giving people hope and inspiring them to act”
if you can’t afford $20 for their fundraising bracelets, they do have other recycled products available, and at the very least please reblog this to boost awareness! here’s the link to their site again:
I wanted to buy waveformers because my hair is naturally straight and pretty bad and I don’t want to destroy it even more with like, curlers that use heat etc, but you can’t buy them anywhere in Croatia 😖 and then I searched for similar products on Amazon and Ebay and none deliver to Croatia, or if they do, they charge 200 dollars for shipping 🤪
Try using scraps of fabric. While your hair is damp, wrap sections around strips of fabric and tie the ends together. You can put a silk hair cap over it and sleep on it, then untie all the strips in the morning when they’re dry and voila! Curly/wavy hair!
Hi, my name is James ☆ Nonbinary (they/them) | 28 | Grey-Asexual | Panromantic ☆ My top fandoms are Harry Potter, Stargate, Percy Jackson, Pokémon, and Good Omens.
