It’s absolutely startling to see assimilationist and respectability politics. I’ll never really understand that point of view. Especially as someone with multiple identities that tend to get left behind in this.
Like. Thinking that we shouldn’t be trying to destroy oppressive systems, but instead cater to them and try to fit ourselves into them as best we can to gain literally only conditional acceptance. Acceptance only if we’re viewed as not being too “““weird””” or “““wrong”””.
This has historically been used to exclude bisexuality, and essentially all multispectrum identities. Being gay is just like being straight, but being in love with the same gender, rather than the “opposite” binary one. But being multispec? That’s too
“““weird”””
. Being attracted to more than only one gender???? That’s too “““strange”””. The Straights won’t accept that. So we don’t accept that.
Similar story with binary trans people. Being gay - or even multispectrum - is just about who we love. But being trans? That’s too
“““weird”””. Thinking your a different gender - even the “opposite” binary gender - of what you were assigned at birth???? That’s too “““strange”””. The Straights won’t accept that. So we don’t accept that.
Of course, as time has gone on, there are fewer of these people doing this to bi and trans people as they’ve been… mostly… accepted as more mainstream LGBTQ+ identities. This is seen in the fact that many gatekeepers insist that the only letters/characters in the acronym are LGBT (the exception being, of course, transphobes and TERFs, and biphobes who will use things like LGB, or LG, or whatever else).
And now the targets have shifted; To all nonbinary genders, because they’re not within the cisnormative binary. To only some nonbinary genders, because even if nonbinary is a thing these ones are too weird, even for nonbinary genders. To asexual and aromantic people because they don’t fit into the “love is love” slogan for the acceptance of non-Straight orientations because they’re (in general) attracted to no one. And so on.
There’s always going to be a group to exclude if we subscribe to assimilationist and respectability politics. Which is why my politics are queer - to dismantle this system rather than shift the shit I’ve had thrown at me over multiple identities to anyone else. To not be accepted conditionally so long as I keep my head down and be as “““normal””” as I can be, and keep mostly quiet about important parts of myself.
I want to be loud, and proud, and unabashedly queer along with everyone else who considers themselves to be outside of pericisheteronormativity - be they comfortable claiming queer or not, I’ll still be loud and proud with them even if they’re not queer - no matter how “““weird””” or “““strange””” or “““wrong””” the society that promotes that normative view thinks they are.
