In 50 years: “You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point.”
We didn’t have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today
I’ve told her not to get her hopes up. “After all,” I say, “we’re only going to celebrate it for half a minute” when she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out “This is your thirty-second birthday”
What we have in mind for now are black dragons, with low density silver glitter, silver enamel, so that the pride flag pops)
“What’s Logic?” the first idiot asks.
The professor answers by saying, “Let me give you an example.”
“Do you own a weedeater?”
“I sure do.”
“Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,” replied the professor.
“That’s real good!”
The professor continues, “Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house.”
Impressed, “Amazin!”
“And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife.”
“That’s Betty Mae! This is incredible!” The idoit is obviously catching on.
“Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual,” said the professor.
“You’re absolutely right! Why that’s the most fascinatin’ thing I ever heard! I can’t wait to take that logic class!!”
The idiot, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.
“So what classes are ya takin’?” asks the friend.
“Math, History, and Logic!” he replies.
“What in tarnation is logic???” asked his friend.
“Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?” he asked.
“No,” his friend replied.
“Gay.”
The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral.
“What does that mean?” the blonde says.
“It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay us back.”
“Something more valuable?” The blonde says. “How about my Ferrari?”
The banker nearly snorts his coffee all over his desk, but he prides himself on customer service so he soldiers on. He runs the title on the Ferrari and what do you know, the blonde owns it free and clear. “Okay, he says, “I’ll print out the papers.”
“Just so I understand,” the blonde says, “I give you my Ferrari and you give me a hundred dollars, right? And then in a month, I give you $120 and you give me my Ferrari back?”
“Yes,” the banker says, “that’s the deal.”
She signs the paperwork and hands him the keys. He counts out $100 for her and watches her saunter out the door.
A month to the day later, he’s sitting at his desk when the blonde saunters back in. She hands him $120 and says “I get my car back, right?”
“Yep, he says as he hands her the keys. She turns to go but he stops her. “Miss, I really have to ask, why did you use a $140,000 car as collateral on a $100 loan?”
“Oh!” The blonde says. “I got called out of town unexpectedly on business. How else can I park a Ferrari for a month in Manhattan for only $20?”
I felt so bad about this, I went and got a puppy.
the fact that op turned off rbs is very very funny to me. anyway i want this post on my blog too.
Oh well. Hindsight is 1.
I have sex twice a year
