Alternatives and Distractions:
Directory:
- If you want to see blood
- If you want to feel a physical sensation
- If you want to see marks on your skin
- If you want to pick at your skin
- If you want a way to let out your emotions
- If you need to keep your mind busy
- If you need to keep your hands busy
- If you just need something to do
- Wet the end of a somewhat soft (not crayola) colored pencil and use it on your skin. It works like the food coloring if you don’t have access to that, but also sort of “bleeds”, unlike markers.
- Put red food coloring on your skin
- Put red food coloring in some non-toxic glue. It looks like blood, and also hardens into “scabs”
- Fatal To The Flesh website. Click and drag on your screen and blood appears.
- Get ahold of some black cherries. Their juice looks very similar. You can eat them, squeeze them apart, or whatever.
- Find some ice cubes or anything frozen solid and hold it to where you self harm to give you a numb-burning sensation. Hold it there as long as you can, or until it melts.
- Snap a hair elastic or rubber band around your wrist.
- Take a hot/cold shower.
- Go to the gym, dance, exercise
- Chew a piece of ginger root or a hot pepper.
- Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)
- Wax your legs/pluck your eyebrows.
- Pour some candle wax onto yourself, but make sure you hold it up high enough so that the wax cools a bit before touching your skin. If it starts to feel like you’re burning yourself, stop immediately.
- Try T.I.P.:
- Temperature change. Dunk your head in ice water (known as the mamillian dive reflex, known to lower heart rates) or hold ice in your hand.
- Intense exercise. Try not to go too far with this one. Do ten jumping jacks, run a mile on the treadmill, or do 20 pushups. Just do it until you’re no longer triggered and no more than that.
- Progressive muscle relaxation. Tense and relax every muscle in your body one by one. Tense for 10 seconds, take deep breaths, then release.
The self-soothe kit is designed to calm you down whenever you’re upset or triggered. Put things in it that relax you. For example:
- body lotion
- body butter
- lavender shae butter
- a scrub
- colored pencils
- tea
- etc.
Here’s an example of a self-soothe kit:
Anything that relaxes you or helps calm you down goes in the kit, such as music, a hobby, art, or calming herbs such as lavender or chamomile. Whenever you’re triggered or upset, take a deep breath and try a few things in the kit.
- Take a red marker or soft felt tipped pen and draw lines where you would self harm
- Put on henna, an Indian temporary tattoo-art found at most Indian stores.
- Put on some temporary tattoos. Either buy a package of them and apply as instructed, or draw on yourself with a permanent marker and use hairspray to seal it. You can also find suggestions for how to make temporary tattoos here.
- On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do.
- Put on nail polish, then peel it off.
- Put Elmer’s liquid glue on your hands and then peel it off.
- Pick at the vinyl liner on the underside of a bottle cap (instructions found here)
- Pick a song that has meaning for you, and write the lyrics on yourself
- Call a friend and talk
- Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall
- Have a pillow fight with the wall
- Viciously stab an orange
- Scream very loudly
- Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines
- Write your feelings on paper then rip it up
- Break sticks
- The Calm Jar (Fill a mason jar or similar with colored water and glitter. When feeling upset or angry you can shake it to disturb the glitter and focus on that until the glitter settles.)
- Cut up fruits
- Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion
- Stomp around in heavy shoes
- Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)
- Blow up a balloon and pop it
- Label your fingers in your mind (index=1 middle=2 ring=3 pinky=4) and tap them randomly and focus on getting the number correct with the corresponding finger.
- Say “I’ll self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades
- Complete something you’ve been putting off
- Take up a new hobby
- Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.
- Alphabetize your CDs or books
- Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop
- Write out lyrics to your favorite song
- Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself
- Play the A-Z game (Pick a category ie. Animals, and think of an animal for every letter of the alphabet)
- “See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down
- Memorize a poem with meaning
- Do school work
- Learn to swear in another language
- Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you’re comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.
- Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal
- Make a soft cloth doll; cut and tear it instead of yourself
- Flatten aluminium cans for recycling
- Put on makeup
- Do some knitting
- Do some house hold chores
- Bake
- Make symmetrical art
- Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black
- Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches
- Throw darts at a dartboard
- Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it
- Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc
- Play handball or tennis
- Look at funny websites
- Scribble on photos of people in magazines
- Look up recipes for desserts, get some ingredients, bake, then donate them what you made.
- Paint your own nebula
- Sleep
- Tie a small string or a rope into knots.
- Go mess around on this site
- Or this one
- Or this one
- Or this one (if you have chrome)
- Listen to music and sing along loudly
- Beat up a stuffed bear
- Pop bubble wrap
- Pop balloons
- Splatter paint
- Enter the secret door
- Do a random act of kindness
- Go for a run
- Color your hair
- Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming
- Sing on the karaoke machine
- Make a cup of tea
- Tell and laugh at jokes
- Play solitaire
- Count up to 500 or 1000
- Make as many words out of your full name as possible
- Count ceiling tiles or lights
- Search ridiculous things on the web
- Color coordinate your wardrobe
- Play with toys, such as a slinky
- Go to the park and play on the swings
- Call up an old friend
- Go “people watching”
- Play a musical instrument
- Watch TV or a movie
- Paint your nails
- Cook
- Make origami to occupy your hands
- Doodle on sheets of paper
- Dress up or try on old clothes
- Play a sport
- Read a book/magazine
- Do a crossword
- Draw a comic strip
- Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self harm free using pretty colored paper
- Knit, sew, or make a necklace
- Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy
- Buy a plant and take care of it
- Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon
- Browse the forums
- Go shopping
- Look up words in a dictionary
- Go outside and watch the clouds roll by
- Plan a party
- Find out if any concerts will be in your area
- Make your own dance routine
- Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day
- Finish homework before it’s due
- Get out on your own, get away from the stress
- Go on YouTube
- Make a scrapbook
- Colour in a picture or colouring book.
- Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.
- Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it
- Take a small step towards a goal you have.
- Re-organize your room
- Make funny faces in a mirror
- Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food
- Color on the walls
- Pull weeds in the garden
- Look at the sky
- Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming
- Call a friend and ask for company
- Put a face mask on
- Watch a favorite TV show or movie
- Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head
- Look at more cute things
- Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do
- Look at things that are special to you
- Compliment someone else
- Watch fish
- Play with a pet
- Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind
- Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)
- Go chat in the chat room
- Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles
- Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book
- Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read
- Meditate or do yoga
- Write, read, or listen to poetry
- Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 9th November 2004, I’m a room and everything is going to be alright)
- Drink herbal tea
- Give yourself permission to do something you don’t normally do (Keep it safe)
- Think about how you don’t want scars
- Treat yourself nicely
- Create a safe place to go
- Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt”
- Try to discourage yourself from doing it by how you may feel afterwards.
- Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut
- Be with other people
- Make a list of your positive character traits
- Play Miniclip or Facebook games, like those escape the room ones, Candy Crush, Superhero Pizza, etc.
Remember that these are not just limited to JUST self harm, they apply to anything.
If the methods that cause slight pain are beginning to be used excessively as a ‘replacement’ to self-harm, we urge you to move onto a different method.
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