Ariel Schrag is the author of Adam and has a long history of being transphobic and lesbophobic in her work. Avoid this film at any cost. It will likely be marketed as a great lgbt film as the novel and her other books were marketed as great lgbt books. Please do not fall for it and don’t let her have any money. I’ve had the misfortune of reading some of it and it is truly horrible stuff. Please do not support Adam or Ariel Schrag in any way.
For those not in the know, or who need a refresher, Adam is the film about the cis man who pretends to be a trans man in order to date a lesbian
On top of the plot, there were lots of actual trans actors who got roles on the set, not knowing what project they were working on and they reported being treated poorly by the production crew including being misgendered.
Please don’t support this film and take care of yourselves, everyone. It’s being sorted under the Comedy and LGBTQ+ categories. -Mod C
this is a good analogy, I’ve been explaining cis people for awhile that someone’s pronouns are how you refer to them when you don’t use their name, and you wouldn’t refer to someone by another name just because of how they look, so names and pronouns are related in my head anyway
A situation like this can end in multiple ways, and I’ve been in it soooo many times. For me, I find it really uncomfortable to correct someone, because it’s like I’m putting my soul out there for them to judge.
You can easily check someone’s profile for Pronouns so you don’t misgender them, and it’s just common courtesy when you’re on a site like Tumblr or Twitter.
But first, what is Misgendering?
It’s when someone denies part or all of another person’s gender, or Gender Expression. Gender Expression is how someone expresses their gender, and themselves. Think of GNC people (Gender Non-Conforming), or how varied femininity, masculinity, and androgyny is expressed between different people.
Misgendering can be getting someone’s Pronouns wrong, and it can be actively denying someone’s gender or gender expression.
Neopronouns and Nounpronouns
Neopronouns can be hard! A lot of people aren’t used to them, which is understandable. However, misgendering someone who uses Xe/Xim, Fae/Fer, or any other Neopronouns, is still Misgendering!
I’d suggest starting to practise, find something you can read that has Neopronouns, have conversations using them in place of more common ones. There’s a lot of resources online that can help, and I’d suggest looking for them! Another good way, is writing a story with characters who use Neopronouns.
Your Pronouns shouldn’t make you uncomfortable, and trying out new ones to compare how you feel is a good idea for anyone, Trans or Cis. I’ve seen many Cis Men use He/Him and They/Them, because they don’t mind being called They.
If a Cis Man says “I’m a Man, and I use They/Them”, then they’re still a Man! Pronouns do not automatically = someone’s gender, and if you want to know their gender you should ask!
let’s go back to the first Example!
When you’ve misgendered someone, you shouldn’t double-down on what you’ve done, or proceed to make fun of their Pronouns! I’ve had many Cis people either ignore me when I’ve corrected them, or go into a massive rant about how much they hate Trans/NB people!
BIG REMINDER:Being called Transphobic, or doing something Transphobic on accident, doesn’t mean you can’t learn from this experience and you’re forever an awful person! I’ve had many Cis people try and tell me something Transphobic isn’t, because they don’t want to think of themselves as an awful person!
To be honest; If you’re learning from your mistakes, and not repeating them out of malice or hatred, then you’re not terrible! What you did was Transphobic, but as long as you learn and become better, then it’s fine!
We’re all human, and there is a line where someone won’t learn what they’ve done and when someone will.
