brianna williams

@willsybee

never not feeling guilty about something I said in 1999

Melbourne, Victoria
briannawilliams.com.au
Joined February 2011
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Sep 16

    Did you know M Night Shyamalan was on the scriptwriting team for She’s All That? Can you imagine him pitching things like “what if she takes off her glasses and she’s hot but also can control ppl’s minds” and everyone’s like omg shut up Manoj stop pitching this shit

    1 reply 4 retweets 65 likes
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  2. Nov 4

    Friend: are you okay?! *me with bloody, scabbed lips* oh thanks yeah I’m in this new diet called the crow diet? Friend: you can only eat crow? Me: nah, just only what I can crack open with a rock in my beak.

    2 likes
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  3. Nov 4

    Ate chippies right off the ground last night because my body can be both a temple and a pile of garbage on the side of the road

    1 reply 1 retweet 10 likes
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  4. Nov 4

    MUM IS MAD AT YOU

    Not for much longer...me nor my people would ever be at or around one of those tragic rallies, so thanks for the heads up philip!
    1 like
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  5. Retweeted
    Nov 4

    He’s not president of the United States. He’s president of white people who are cool w/ racism.

    7 replies 61 retweets 357 likes
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  6. Nov 3

    🎶raspberry parade they’ve become sentient and they’re walking down the street Raspberry parade these monstrous raspberries will kill us all 🎶🎶

    1 retweet 7 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Oct 30

    Today’s mood: Irish suffragette Mary Maloney who followed Winston Churchill around for a week ringing a large bell whenever he attempted to speak

    30 replies 2,123 retweets 6,738 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Nov 2

    Instead of an epitaph please put this series of quotes from the Gone Girl director's commentary on my tombstone

    13 replies 1,069 retweets 4,882 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    Nov 2

    This SNL skit where Kristen Wiig plays Liza Minnelli trying to turn off a lamp fundamentally changed me.

    329 replies 10,542 retweets 50,450 likes
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  10. Nov 2

    It’s the race that stops a nation!... ...from having living horses

    1 like
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  11. Retweeted
    Nov 2

    Have a great time at the horses run in a circle till they die. You look great and you will wear that hat again. That was a clever and good purchase.

    1 reply 15 retweets 79 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Feb 5

    inspired by (and so I have easy access to it at all times), here is Maya Rudolph saying "Looney Tunes" in the Good Place season 2 finale

    6 replies 37 retweets 236 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    Nov 1

    Fellow obsessors of 's annunciation of "Bubble Bath".......You're welcome. 😉

    466 replies 24,793 retweets 62,729 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Oct 31

    Should you DM me? Are you attractive? ________|________ | | yes no | | go ahead go ahead too i’m so lonely :(

    3 replies 304 retweets 847 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    Oct 30

    honest to god a one kid just knocked on my door and said “trick or penguin” so I said “penguin” and he showed me a picture of a penguin he drew and idk why anyone is hating on Halloween this is the best

    137 replies 25,579 retweets 175,224 likes
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  16. Oct 31

    Cartoonishly lovely Vanuatu.

    1 reply 5 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    Oct 31

    oh no please pivot back to politics this is worse this is worse

    1 reply 26 retweets 257 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Oct 31

    your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should

    2,548 replies 32,714 retweets 125,608 likes
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  19. Oct 31

    This was great because I finally got my good friend to listen to me for the better part of an hour about an animal, normally he interrupts me to talk about fantasy football or some shit. Seriously we had a lot of fun have a listen!

    🔊NEW PODCAST🔊 and it’s a 👻SPOOKY🎃 one! it’s halloween so 's in to talk about BATS! turns out they aren’t so spooky after all. learn to love these critters in the new ep of TOTALLY OBSESSED! with new spooky theme song by
    1 retweet 1 like
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  20. Oct 30

    Hope he sends me a duck pic

    2 retweets 13 likes
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  21. Oct 30

    Here’s a spooky thing: the people that make the dating apps don’t actually want you to find a partner Because then you’d stop using the apps 💀

    1 reply 7 likes
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