While millions of Americans were astonished that Trump would voluntarily speak at great length to an author famous for his takedowns of Presidents, experts believe that a total obliviousness to books and what is inside them might have played a pivotal role.

Attorney General William Barr said that the D.O.J. would assume full responsibility for dropping off and picking up “items including but not limited to President Trump’s shirts, suits, slacks, socks, and undergarments.”

The President tweeted, “If you wonder what kind of neighbor I would be, just ask Canada and Mexico.”

It’s the little things in life that can really break your spirit and land you in a dramatic tableau.

“If the comments attributed to the President have alarmed voters, Sarah’s vouching for him should put an end to that,” an aide said.