Budgen's Cola: a little bit flat

That's right - the Cola reviews are back! It's been a while, but then again I've been sticking to beer and coffee for the most part, which may be part of the explanation.

Budgens' Cola is another cheap and cheerful brand name that will sort you out when in need of something wet. As far as the taste goes we're not roving into the bizarre 'black carrot' realms of the M&S abomination, nor the fruity blend of Whole Earth. We're talking a risk-free cola that is like drinking a very familiar acquaintance rather than friend or stranger on the bus.

My one reservation about this Cola is that it seemed, well, a little bit flat. Not just the paucity of bubbles, which is not fatal, but the tang lacks bite. I think they've gone for the safe option, the road that offends the least, and in the process they've made a Cola of no real repute.


Don't get me wrong, Budgens provides a cheap way of quenching your thirst without disgusting you. If you think that Coke is a bit edgy - this is probably the Cola for you. If you were choosing a drink to enjoy you might want to look further afield.

Red Kola

In this weather you need something that can cool you down with a complete and devoted fervour. No ifs, no buts, no nuance but pure, unadulterated Trotskyist thirst quenching goodness. That's why when I saw Red Kola I immediately reached out my cheap skate hand (just 39 pence) and seized the day.

Red Kola is not your run of the mill beverage. Oh no. The moment it hits your tongue your entire being is brought to attention and ordered to storm that machine gun nest soldier. And not in a good way.

I'd be lying if I denied that I wasn't tempted to spit that first mouthful out. It was less Kola and more some sort of foul triple X Iron Bru. No one could deny it has *flavour* - dear God it has that and then some, it's just whether that flavour is fit for the delicate human constitution.

I persevered, of course. In fact, by the time I was half way through I'd begun to think that I might even be enjoying the experience. It was hard to tell though through the incessant buzzing in my ears and my uncontrollable sobbing.

Perhaps a young and adventurous type might enjoy this sort of thing, it's the Cola equivalent of an extreme rollercoaster. There's something there that you know is possible to enjoy - you just can't imagine it happening to you.

In it's favour I was really was very pleased once I'd finished the can and could stop drinking the stuff. That's at least one plus then.

Can a cola be "nutty"?

I thought it was my duty to try something "ethical". I know, I know it's a slippery slope. One moment you're drinking an ethical cola the next you've dedicated your life to helping one legged orphans, lost in a miasma of "do gooding".

However, my quest to explore every corner of the Cola world has brought me here - to Whole Earth's "Sparkling, delicious Cola".

It didn't begin well. Firstly it only comes in a can. In my book that's a shame. Secondly it proudly proclaims it's organic. An organic cola... Surely an oxymoron? In fact here is a list of the ingredients;

Carbonated Water, Organic Apple Juice from concentrate (18%), Organic Sugar, Organic Lemon Juice from concentrate (2%), Barley Malt Extract, Natural Flavourings, Cola Nut Extract

So, as you might imagine, it was with great trepidation I raised the tin to my lips, bracing myself for the self proclaimed "nutty" flavour. Completely unexpectedly it tasted like actual cola rather than bark or worms or twigs or something.

Then I realised something even more shocking. It was delicious!

I couldn't believe it, it was nutty, but in a good way. I know - crazy! In fact, I'd say this was the best Cola I've ever tasted. How extra-ordinary, it doesn't even have e-numbers in it.

Well, I say there are no e-numbers, but there must be - otherwise how come it's so nice? I expect they just aren't owning up to them. That must be it.

Other cola reviews:
Fentiman's Curiosity Cola, Marks and Sparks own brand.

Refreshing Cola News

In a new and stunning Cola development I've now sampled a rather fine bottle of "Fentimans Curiosity Cola" which is so posh it has no need of punctuation. This was very kindly given to me by fellow blogger John Anglis - appalled as he was to see that I'd subjected myself to an M & S own brand.

Now, Fentimans is clearly an upmarket tipple replete with ye olde labels, the proud proclamation that it has been "botanically brewed" and the requirement to shake the bottle before drinking (tip: do not do this with other brands of Cola unless you are in need of an impromptu soaking).

I was also intrigued by the insistence that it would have no more than 0.5% proof. I should think not. I'm an abstemious sort when it comes to Colas so I like to know that I wont be belching up anything alcoh籀lico.

This Cola was certainly an improvement on the M & S version. You can certainly taste the E numbers doing their tasty work. E150, E338 plus "Cola flavour 9594". Allow me to reassure you this is the very finest "Cola flavour 9594" available on the market today.

It still tasted of vegetables, which is a shame, though in a slightly more tangy way. You can really detect that fermented ginger root extract the moment you put your lips to the bottle.

I'm not sure it actually lived up to the label's claim that it is a drink that is "curiously envigorating" [sic] but you do know you're drinking something special whilst chugging it down. Something to be sipped rather than guzzled I suspect. All in all 8.7 out of 10 I think.

Are they trying to poison me

So I was drinking this "Cola" I'd bought at the railway station - M&S Cola no less. That's right - classy.

Anyway, as I was drinking it I kept thinking "This tastes of vegetables... and not in a good way. Not that there is a good way to taste of vegetables of course."

In fact the taste got so strong and I was so bugged out by it I actually checked the ingredients. What do you know, M&S Cola has among its ingredients;

• Black carrot and,
  
• Hibiscus
  

The horror.

I mean once a carrot has gone black you throw it away don't you? And as for Hibiscus - surely it's confined to the hippy tea ghetto for a reason... to keep it away from decent clean living folk like me.

Do you know what? There wasn't even a single E number in it to take the taste away. Shudder...