News in BriefNASA Launches Paparazzo Rover In Beverly Hills To Search For Signs Of Salacious Celebrity LifeBEVERLY HILLS—Emphasizing that the mission would finally give humans unprecedented access to juicy, A-list action, NASA scientists told reporters Wednesday that they had launched a paparazzo rover in Beverly Hills to search for signs of salacious…
News in BriefCity Enters Phase 4 Of Pretending Coronavirus OverDALLAS—Saying the city remained on track for progressing into the final stage, Mayor Eric Johnson told Dallas residents Friday that they would soon officially be entering Phase 4 of pretending the coronavirus was over. “Thanks to the efforts of…
News in Brief‘So, It Means Making The Police Lose Their Homes And Forcing Them To Get A Divorce?’ Says Nation Still Struggling To Understand How Defunding The Police WorksWASHINGTON—Growing increasingly confused by the concept of shifting law enforcement resources, a head-scratching nation asked, “So, it means making the police lose their homes and forcing them to get a divorce” Monday while struggling to understand…
Manipulative Stepmom Only Married Dad So She Could Take Care Of Him Into Old AgePENSACOLA, FL—Milking the aging man for all his love and affection, manipulative stepmother Tracy Duffield, 63, only married local dad Robert Morales, 77, so that she could take care of him as he grows old, sources reported Wednesday. “Ugh, she’s…
News in BriefWilliam Howard Taft Historian Confident Solution To Nation’s Troubles Can Be Found In Storied Career Of William Howard Taft
News in BriefQuaker Oats Replaces Historically Racist Aunt Jemima Mascot With Black Female Lawyer Who Enjoys Pancakes Sometimes
News in Brief‘More Tranquil Dammit!’ Screams Perfectionist Ambient Sound Producer Demanding Another Take From Babbling Creek
News in Brief‘So, It Means Making The Police Lose Their Homes And Forcing Them To Get A Divorce?’ Says Nation Still Struggling To Understand How Defunding The Police Works
News in BriefCongress Announces Willingness To Offer Black Lives Matter Protesters Holiday Or StatueWASHINGTON—Emphasizing the importance of taking concrete steps to address systemic racism and police brutality in the United States, Congress reportedly announced Monday their willingness to offer Black Lives Matter protesters a holiday or statue.…
News in BriefBiden Campaign Fundraising Email Reminds Donors Sexual Assault Allegations Don’t Bury Themselves
News In PhotosGeorgia Secretary Of State Vows To Investigate Why Some Residents Forced To Wait 2 Centuries To Vote
News in BriefCity Enters Phase 4 Of Pretending Coronavirus OverDALLAS—Saying the city remained on track for progressing into the final stage, Mayor Eric Johnson told Dallas residents Friday that they would soon officially be entering Phase 4 of pretending the coronavirus was over. “Thanks to the efforts of…
NewsBrutal: Playstation Has Cancelled The Entire PS5 Game Lineup After @NicoBoy95 Commented ‘No One Cares’ On Their Livestream
Sorry Gamers: ‘The Last Of Us Part II’ Has Been Delayed Again Because Naughty Dog’s Headquarters Fell Into The Ocean
News In PhotosTuba Player In John Williams Orchestra Loves Giving Little Toot When Something Dramatic Happens
Sports News In BriefFantasy Baseball League Commissioner Knows Handling Of Pandemic Will Define His Legacy
Sports News In BriefRed Sox Ask Fans To Switch From Racial To Homophobic Slurs When Taunting Opposing Players
