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Mental Illness Mouse

MentalIllnessMouse is a blog run by mentally ill people for mentally ill people. We provide peer support and resources through responses, posts, and reblogs. We are not professionals and as such cannot diagnose. Learn more via our FAQs.

Please check out the helpful resources page and relevant tags before asking questions. Do not send in questions containing graphic descriptions of violence, assault, self harm, or numbers related to weight and dieting/eating as we've defined here or asks about medications.

For urgent, time sensitive concerns please use a hotline or chatroom as asks can take up to 3 weeks to answer.

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Getting a Therapist - a brief step-by-step

Sorting It Out

When you start your search, keep an open mind. A therapist does not need decades of experience – or a sheepskin from an ivy-league school – to be helpful.

It used to be that a psychiatrist was considered most qualified because he or she had more education, but that’s not true anymore. Some psychiatrists got their licenses 25 years ago and haven’t kept up. Many psychiatrists who are trained today just handle medications. You can have a primary care doctor do that – it’s not like psychiatrists are indispensable!

Credentials aren’t everything. Even people with great credentials aren’t necessarily great therapists. They may be smart, but that doesn’t mean they have good common sense.

Where to Start?

Collect Names. 

[NOTE: depending on where you live, you may need a doctor’s referral to see a therapist/counselor]

Don’t start with three names from your managed care company.

- Avrum Geurin Weiss, PhD, author of the book, Experiential Psychotherapy: A Symphony of Selves.

Very likely, you don’t have the company’s entire list of providers. “Insist on getting the whole provider list. Then ask friends and colleagues if they know a psychologist or psychiatrist who could make recommendations from that list.”

Weiss gets plenty of calls from people who say, “I have Aetna insurance. I know you’re not an Aetna provider, but can you look at my list?”

“They fax it to me, and I make recommendations. I do it all the time,” he says.

Other sources:

  • Call a university psychiatry or psychology department and ask recommendations of people trained in that program. “At least that way you know they’re under scrutiny,” says Turner.
  • If you’re moving to a new city, ask your current therapist for referrals, or have him check with colleagues.
  • Call a large clinic; ask the receptionist for recommendations. “They know who specializes in what,” Baker tells WebMD. “They can match you up pretty well.”
  • Check with friends and family.
  • Check on Psychology Today’s therapy directory [Canada and the United States]
  • Check at a local crisis center or women’s shelter for resources.

Also, check with professional associations to learn about a therapist’s expertise – whether they provide psychotherapy, if they treat children, etc. The American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association both provide such lists for people wanting to find a therapist.

The First Appointment

Ask questions: How long has the therapist been in practice? How many patients have had your problem? What were the results? Ask about policies, fees, payment. But don’t bargain hunt for mental health care.

You find a therapist in the same way you choose any health care professional. They must be professional, credentialed, and competent, with no lawsuits against them. And they must be an intuitive fit – you can’t underestimate the absolute value of feeling a good intuitive match with somebody. Also, if you ask them questions about themselves, and they get defensive, go somewhere else. 

If you and your therapist are not a good fit and do not “connect”, do not hesitate to find a new therapist and continue looking for new therapists until you find the right one. Any therapist worth their degree/certificates will understand.

Another important point: Has your therapist been in therapy? They have to have resolved their own issues, or they will steer you away from things they are not comfortable with. They may also bring their own issues into your therapy.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I feel reasonably OK with this person? “Feeling totally comfortable isn’t the best criteria, because if you’re too comfortable, you’re just chit chatting, and that doesn’t help you,” says Baker.
  • Is the therapist really listening to me? Is he or she asking enough questions? Especially in the first sessions, the therapist should be asking many questions, to become acquainted with you and the issues you are dealing with.
  • Has the therapist asked what outcome you want from therapy – how you want your life to be? How will you know when you get there, if neither the patient nor the therapist has established a goal?
  • Do you feel satisfied with the therapist’s resources? For example, do you have to find your own therapy group? Or is your therapist checking with colleagues about a group appropriate for you?
  • Does what the therapist say make sense? Does it seem like bad advice? Does it help you or not?

Baker says patients don’t always like his suggestions – yet he knows from intuition and experience that its good advice.

Example: Your husband uses profanity constantly when talking to you; you want him to quit. Baker suggests that you mirror your husband’s behavior – you use profanity the next time he does – a technique he knows will work. “People are always resistant to that, they don’t want to ‘sink that low,’ but then they’re amazed at how well it works,” Baker says. “It’s not that you should take up bad habits, but that he stop his.”

Child/Adolescent Therapy

It’s tough finding a good child psychotherapist. Not many people have much experience working with adolescents. You can end up with a therapist trained to work with adults, but they work with adolescents because they have an adolescent or because they like working with adolescents.

A pediatrician can often make a referrals.

“I warn people about school counselors making referrals; they are overwhelmed and busy, don’t follow up to see if good work is happening.” - Weiss

Also, check with other parents. “I recommend that parents identify two or three therapists that they find acceptable, then let your kid pick from among them. That’s so they have a voice in this,” Weiss advises.

Eugenio Rothe, MD, professor of psychiatry at the University of Miami and director of the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Clinic at Jackson Memorial Hospital, offered his insights.

Pediatricians and professional counselors should not be treating a child for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), he tells WebMD. “More than 75% of children with ADHD are treated by a pediatrician or primary care doctor. But studies show that 40% to 60% of those children have another psychiatric diagnosis. How can a pediatrician [or counselor] diagnose that?”

“Professional honesty is very important – referring patients to other professionals when you’re not trained to handle the problem,” says Rothe. “Many psychologists feel very threatened by psychiatrists, that they will lose the patient if they make a referral. But they’re doing a disservice by not getting patients get the help they need.”

Psychiatrists understand both the body and the brain, and that’s a critical difference, he explains. “Depression may begin with a situational problem in your life, but that event causes chemical changes in your brain. Once those chemical changes are established, you have a chemical imbalance. If you treat depression as something abstract, you won’t get to the fact that it’s a chemical imbalance that needs be treated.”

He retells one landmark court case: A man with what’s known as “agitated depression” wore out three pairs shoes from pacing for more than six months in a mental health facility. Talk therapy was not helping, so he signed himself out, went to a psychiatrist, got medications, and got completely better in six weeks.

“He sued the hospital, said he hadn’t received appropriate treatment, and he won,” says Rothe.

The lesson for therapists: You are making a patient suffer unnecessarily if you don’t treat the depression effectively – or if you don’t help them find a therapist who can.

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Anonymous asked: Is it essential for someone with clinical depression to go see a psychiatrist? I'm not sure if i should go see one, and not really certain how they can help me with my issues.

Hello anon,

I’m not sure I’m the one to say whether or not getting counselling is essential or not. Or whether I’m the one to tell you whether you should see one or not…  But if your symptoms are affecting your ability to live comfortably and happily and you are having difficulty coping, I would encourage you to give counselling a go.

You don’t really know how it can help until you give it a try. 

Therapy for depression will teach you and help you cope with current and/or ongoing problems that are triggering or contributing to your depression.

There are multiple approaches for treating depression so don’t hesitate to ask for help. You may not be certain how they can help, but psychiatrists and the departments they belong to have the resources to help find the right person to help you with whatever you are going through. 

Best wishes to you anon

-safet

apologies for any incoherence. 

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Anonymous asked: TW: Self Harm, blood.Hi I am a little worried about myself... I have a history of self harm and pretty dramatic mood swing. The other night I felt super disconnected from my body and thought cutting might help (been doing it for a while). I barely felt it and thought it was hilarious that I was bleeding, that blood was inside of me. This was during something that seemed to fit a lot of manic symptoms... what do I do? Is there anyone else who has felt this?

Have you/do you see a therapist or doctor about these issues? 

If you haven’t it might be worthwhile to talk them about these issues. It sounds as if you dissociated during your mood swing. Simply put dissociation is basically a disconnection with your thoughts and feelings and has been associated with mood swings. 

I would advise that you talk a doctor or therapist about Bipolar Disorder which is characterised by dramatic mood swings like you have described. I also know individuals who have dissociated during manic episodes that suffer from Bipolar type 1. Dissociative Disorders and other disorders such as PTSD can also cause dramatic mood swings with dissociation.

This is a very helpful post that talks about ways to control manic episodes, even if you don’t suffer from mania it might be helpful in controlling your dramatic mood swings: manic how can I control it? Also this post lists a series of things you might do to prevent cutting: ways to avoid self-injury.

If any followers have experienced something similar or have any advice please feel free to share. 

I hope that helps you anon.

-Kris

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Anonymous asked: I'm depressed, irritable, angry, frustrated, worried, stressed, & who knows what else. I got dropped from therapy back in Feb. (limited appointments & it seems they're done with me). I can't afford private therapy. I feel totally alone. It seems no one takes me seriously any more or really even cares about what I want. I don't know what to do. I have few friends, no close family ties, & it seems my beloved doesn't even get me anymore, so I have no one to talk to. I feel like I'm falling apart.

I’m so sorry you feel that way anon. 

Please know that you are not alone! This blog exists for the purpose of providing some much needed support and even if it’s just someone to talk to. Our ask box is always open, never hesitate to send something in and if you ask un-anonymously we can reply privately if you so desire.

Even if you can’t afford private therapy other options exist such as hotlines or crisis lines that you can call free, even if its just to chat (it doesn’t have to be a crisis). 

There are also online resources such as chat rooms where you can talk to other people with mental health issues, links to various chatlines can be found here: other resources. If you just want to talk to others,you can try websites such as YourLifeYourVoice or Samaritans.org.

A range of other support blogs also exist on tumblr such as goodmentalhealthsurvivorsunitedmentally-ill-strong-willonlinecounsellingcollegerecoverythroughsupport and many more. 

I hope in some small way that helps you. 

-Kris 

[Image: 18-piece green-coloured background with a common house mouse. Top text reads: “Finally tell best friend your depression is getting out of control” Bottom text reads: “”You just need to spend more time working and less time talking about...

[Image: 18-piece green-coloured background with a common house mouse. Top text reads: “Finally tell best friend your depression is getting out of control” Bottom text reads: “”You just need to spend more time working and less time talking about depression””]

Sometimes I worry this person thinks my mental illness is only present when I am discussing it with them. Apparently my only problem is that I want to talk about how sad I am that I’m having a hard time getting things done and that keeps me from getting things done. I assume I’m not the only person who has to deal with this kind of cyclic logic from loved ones.

Feeling like you don’t belong, that’s there is something wrong with you, is a feature of a lot of different disorders - don’t freak out!  Just tell your psychiatrist, therapist, regular doctor, school counselor, or whoever you can go to who will take you seriously.  For me this turned out to be a part of Avoidant Personality Disorder, mostly, plus a result of the social dysfunction I experienced due to ADHD and some neglect/trauma stuff - unfortunately, this was such a fundamental belief about myself that, as a kid, I actually dreamed of being “rescued by aliens” or other imaginary friends/heroes.  I thought that there was, somewhere out there, a place that I must belong - and that place wasn’t any part of reality as I knew it.    I lost a lot of time to this kind of self-soothing fantasy stuff, and I’m sure I would have been happier (and had more friends) if I’d been asking for help instead of hiding in my own head.  

Therapy helps, as does doing a lot of reading about how other people feel this way too!  Depending on the cause, meds may or may not help.  For me part of why we know that it’s not something like an organic illness is that SSRIs/etc. didn’t diminish the feeling at all.  That is, the dissociative stuff went away, but the “Demeter is Not Like The Rest” belief, and related behaviors, persisted.

Submitted by demeter42

Schizoaffective Disorder

Schizoaffective disorder is a mental condition that causes both a loss of contact with reality (psychosis) and mood problems. The exact cause is unknown. Changes in genes and chemicals in the brain (neurotransmitters) may play a role. Schizoaffective disorder is believed to be less common than schizophrenia and mood disorders. Women may have the condition more often than men. Schizoaffective disorder tends to be rare in children.

Symptoms

The symptoms of schizoaffective disorder are different in each person. Often, people with schizoaffective disorder seek treatment for problems with mood, daily function, or abnormal thoughts. Psychosis and mood problems may occur at the same time, or by themselves. The course of the disorder may involve cycles of severe symptoms followed by improvement.

The symptoms of schizoaffective disorder can include:

·         Changes in appetite and energy

·         Disorganized speech that is not logical

·         False beliefs (delusions), such as thinking someone is trying to harm you (paranoia) or thinking that special messages are hidden in common places (delusions of reference)

·         Lack of concern with hygiene or grooming

·         Mood that is either too good, or depressed or irritable

·         Problems sleeping

·         Problems with concentration

·         Sadness or hopelessness

·         Seeing or hearing things that aren’t there (hallucinations)

·         Social isolation

·         Speaking so quickly that others cannot interrupt you

·         Treatment can vary. In general, antipsychotic medications are used to treat psychotic symptoms and antidepressant medications or “mood stabilizers” may be prescribed to improve mood. Talk therapy can help with creating plans, solving problems, and maintaining relationships. Group therapy can help with social isolation.

Outlook (Prognosis)

People with schizoaffective disorder have a greater chance of going back to their previous level of function than do people with most other psychotic disorders. However, long-term treatment is often needed, and results can vary from person to person.

Possible Complications

·         Abuse of drugs in an attempt to self-medicate

·         Problems following medical treatment and therapy

·         Problems due to manic behavior (for example, spending sprees, overly sexual behavior)

·         Suicidal behavior.

Source: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000930.htm

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Anonymous asked: Why does everyone say that killing yourself is selfish... isn't denying me the one thing that would bring me peace even more selfish?

Trigger warning: Suicide 

I’m not going to tell you what is selfish and what isn’t. Ultimately this is your life and your decision. I think its more just pointing out that ending your life has a wider impact beyond yourself. Ie. for family and friends.

I just want to question your logic as viewing it as the “only thing that would bring you peace”. Unless you have tried every type of therapy, every type of medication, every meditation technique etc. etc. in the world you can’t know that other things in your life won’t give you peace, or at least some sense of it. 

Personally I have felt the same way in the past, I saw death as the only solution, the only way to escape from my hell of a life. But it wasn’t, after going into therapy and finding the right medication I found my peace and I am now, on the most part, a happy person.

All that I ask anon is that you consider that there are other options that have worked for millions of other people, it might be that they work for you as well. 

-Kris

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Anonymous asked: is it awful I almost don't want my depression cured? I don't know why I feel this way... I don't /want/ to be sad but I don't want to be happy either? I don't know if this makes any sense sorry

I have felt that I didn’t want my depression cured in the past but in a slightly different way. Simply because my self-worth was so low at one point that I felt that I deserved to be miserable and I wasn’t worth being cured. I know this is slightly different to you as you don’t wish to be sad.

There are many possible reasons for feeling the way you do, it could be that you desire to not feel (If that makes any sense at all). For instance in the past (a few years after not wanting to be cured) I also desired not to feel anything at all, not happiness, not sadness, nothing. I talked to my therapist at the time about it. She said something along the lines of due to the intense emotional pain I experienced on a daily basis I viewed any emotion negatively. Thus I saw the logical alternative to this to not feel at all. I was able to overcome this view mainly with Cognitive behaviour therapy

I don’t know if that might be the same for you. If any followers have any input please feel free to chime in. 

-Kris

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Anonymous asked: "I have felt that I didn’t want my depression cured in the past but in a slightly different way. Simply because my self-worth was so low at one point that I felt that I deserved to be miserable and I wasn’t worth being cured." I sincerely thought I was the only one who has ever felt this way. I don't feel this way anymore, I wish everyday for this depression to disappear. But I remember when I use to want my depression, I felt like no one cared and it was the only thing that gave me comfort.

You certainly are not the only person who has felt this way. I have spoken to many people who suffer from depression and have felt the same way. 

Stay strong.

-Kris 

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Anonymous asked: [TW] I've been suicidal since I was thirteen and lately I've been good at keeping up a front for the most part, but right now they have me on a medication that messes with my chemicals and I really really want to reach out to a friend just to hear one of their voices and know I'm not alone, but I feel like they are all tired of hearing about it and they don't want to deal with me when I get low and need them most. Everyone just wants me around when I am spontaneous and happy, but I'm losing it.

Anon, 

I think it is important that you talk to a friend about your feelings, If they truly are your friends they will want to be there for you. 

I can understand that you feel the way you do, I have felt the same way myself. However, I ended up talking to a friend about it in the end and they were very supportive and only wished that I had told them sooner.

If still feel this way you can always contact a  hotline or crisis line so you at least can talk to someone freely about how you are feeling.

Remember our ask box is always open and you can always talk to Safet or myself about any feelings you might be having. 

-Kris

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Anonymous asked: I have BPD and I also feel that I don't want it to be cured, but not for the same reasons. I just feel like I wouldn't be the same, I wouldn't be *me* if I let go of the sadness and self-destructiveness. I don't like being depressed but I've been this way for so long that it feels natural now, even though I know I shouldn't think like this. I know my illness isn't who I am, but sometimes it really feels like it is and recovery would be like losing myself... I don't know if it makes any sense.

It does, particularly if you have suffered from an illness for a long period of time, it becomes hard to separate yourself from your illness.

-Kris

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Anonymous asked: Can I just clarify (because in the discussion people have been using the word 'cure') that there is no 'cure' for a mental illness, but there is 'recovery' from a mental illness.

thanks ~

-safet

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attickbird asked: re: being "cured." To my knowledge, that's what "management" means. You can live with something for so long it's hard to just "cure," but management is paying attention to the things you need to and doing something about them.
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Anonymous asked: I don't know what to do. I just weighed myself and I gained 2 pounds. I use to be in double digest but now I'm in triple again. I'm freaking out. I was doing okay. I wasn't paying attention to calories. Not counting. Not restricting. I was just maintaining my weight. But it went past 100 and now I'm freaking out. I don't even have an eating disorder but I'm literally freaking out. I don't if I'll start restricting again. I can't believe I let this happen. sorry, I just really need to vent.

Feel free to vent away! 

I’m sorry that you feel this way, gaining weight can be stressful even for people without eating disorders because of the apparent “importance of being thin” portrayed in the media. But remember just because you gained some weight it doesn’t mean that your positive aspects disappear. You are no less intelligent, no less kind etc.

Weight tends to fluctuate naturally, but if you want to lose some weight do it in a healthy manner, just change what you currently might be eating to something healthier. For instance having a salad instead of a toasted sandwich. If you crave something sweet have a piece of fruit instead of a piece of chocolate.  

Also exercise seem to be the best way to lose weight and also to gain muscle tone, by eating healthily and trying to do moderate exercise every day or at least a few times a week. You will lose weight without having to resort to extreme dieting (which is more likely to result in weight fluctuations).

It is better to make a long term lifestyle and diet change to keep you healthy and this will also result in a more constant weight. 

Please just keep in mind that a number on a scale does not define who you are. 

-Kris

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Anonymous asked: [TW] Sometimes I don't want to recover from my depression, either. I'm 18 in August and I've been clinically depressed since I was seven years old. I also suffer from severe anxiety. I can barely remember what life is like without my illness. I think I feel this way, partly because of what's been said so far and also because I'm terrified of the unknown, of such a drastic change in my life. I'd rather be dead than recover most days.

Yes it would be a change, a dramatic change. Which is scary in itself but that doesn’t mean it would be a bad thing. Recovery is a very gradual process in which allows you to adjust in your own time. 

Your mental illnesses, even if they have impacted on you for such as long time, they still don’t define who you are. Only you can do that anon. 

-Kris

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Anonymous asked: I remember hearing that the longer a mental illness (such as depression) goes untreated, the more difficult it is to recover from it. I waited eight years to get help for my depression, and over the last two - three years of medications and therapists/psychiatrists/psychologists, barely a dent has been made. I hardly feel any better. I'm wondering if you know anything about this? Is it true that the longer it goes untreated the harder it is to recover? Thank you so much for your time.

Recent studies have suggested that early treatment may lead to better clinical outcomes, while delaying treatment leads to worse outcomes.

The longer a mental illness goes untreated, yes it becomes more difficult to recover but that does not mean that it is impossible. I remained untreated for a number of years, and in the process I went through multiple psychologists, counselors and psychiatrists until I found the person that worked for me. It has taken me 9 years to find a medication that helps with my symptoms, yet now they have finally found one that that works for me I am able to live a relatively normal life. 

It’s frustrating and hard and it’s a long process but even in cases like yours and mine where treatment was delayed, recovery is still possible.

-Kris 

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Anonymous asked: Thank you /so/ much, Kris. You really helped me. <3

I’m glad that I was able to help <3 

-Kris

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Anonymous asked: When I first started treatment for depression, I got very scared of getting better because I was afraid that once I recovered, my parents and my therapist would stop caring. My parents became much more compassionate when I told them I was depressed and I was terrified that my therapist would declare "Welp, she's cured!" and my parents would go back to being assholes. I've been in remission for a while and my fears were unwarranted.