Speccy Twats, the high street gegs for a quid shop, has been accused of cutting corners in order to keep costs down. The ‘Buy 1, Get None Free’ chain has marketed itself on cheap eye tests and shit frames but consumer protection nosy bastards from Whaaat? magazine say their ‘pay-as-you-go’ eye tests have failed to meet industry standards. 1 customer, known only as ‘Alex,’ said ‘the eye tests are fine but the preliminary exam is pretty thorough …
At first I was like this …
Then I was like this …
And now I’m like this!
But at least it stopped me raping people. Now where’s that fucken door?’
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‘Speccy Twats! You pays yer money …’
Tune in next week for more unfunny shite fae Auchenshoogle!