Things You Can’t Un-Hear

October 25th, 2010

You when something is just so ugly it’s kinda cute? Wishniks aren’t in that category. They’re just hideous, creepy little dolls that came in a variety of outfits. And, apparently, they managed to get a recording contract (from Satan himself, I can only imagine). If you look hard enough, you can find a digital copy of this abomination online, but be warned. It will haunt your dreams for all eternity. I have no doubt that if the Wishniks were still recording today, they would definitely cover Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair”.

Style Trekkin’

October 22nd, 2010

When this motion picture based on the immortal TV series hit the theaters, it wasn’t the blockbuster they had hoped for (but it’s sequels were, for the most part). But, one element really clicked with fans, and that was Lt. Ilia, played by the late Persis Khambatta. Toy companies tried to make her into a fashion doll, and even went so far as creating this perplexing toy. Maybe it was for the hairstyling-challenged, who knows. At least it came with the Ilia probe’s nifty sensor crystal, even though they felt the need to give it a very 70’s name change. Discovered at the Lamden’s Hardware in Ludington, WI.

Benoit Mandelbrot 1924-2010

October 18th, 2010

In honor of the passing of pioneering mathematician Benoit Mandelbrot, we present a complete set of this groundbreaking comic series, including the special issue focusing on the character inspired by him. It’s too bad they’re not in better shape, because in this condition they’re only worth (wait for it)… a fractal of their mint value! Ok, ok, we’ll accept your groans and boos, but no more throwing broken beer bottles, please. This collection is on loan from a private collector in Springfield, IL.

Hello, My Name is Íñigo Narwhal..

October 13th, 2010

This is officially the most awesome toy based on any sea life ever! We had always imagined the narwhal would be a bad-ass if it decided to exact revenge upon the rest of the world, but we never considered immortalizing the concept in plastic. Luckily, someone else did! And does cuteness provide a defense against the narwhal’s anger? No! Take that, baby seal, and penguin, and.. koala bear?? That’s one overdeveloped sense of vengeance (and a long swim).

Someone Needs a Time Out

October 11th, 2010

One would assume this variation on a popular talking doll served the purpose of learning to be tolerant towards bullies and obnoxious brats, but most likely it resulted in toy destruction and long lasting resentment. A life lesson, nonetheless. It’s not as annoying as “Violent Violet”, a doll that would actually strike you with considerable force and then apologize. Luckily that never made it to production. Found at the Daws rummage sale in Crab Orchard, IL.

‘Twas Mediocrity That Killed the Beast

October 7th, 2010

You would think the poster for this very real 1976 joint Korean/American venture is sporting that silly disclaimer as a clever bit of advertising, the goal being to do just the opposite of what it says. In reality, it was actually the result of a lawsuit by RKO. They originally titled it “The New King Kong”, and were making no bones about wanting to cash in on the Dino De Laurentiis remake of the original. By the way, we encourage you to at least find and watch the trailer for this film so you can truly experience how horrible it is. It’s Grade-A Drive-In Fromage.

RIP Stephen J. Cannell

October 4th, 2010

We took a week off, but we’re back in time for the Halloween season. With the passing of legendary writer and producer of 70’s and 80’s TV Stephen J. Cannell, we felt this costume was fitting tribute based on his award winning series starring James Garner. If it only came with an answering machine, it would be perfect. I think they used the mask for some of Garner’s other films and shows, keep an eye out for new posts about that. This was found at the Burkitts’ rummage sale in Millwood, SC.

Eat Out More Often

September 23rd, 2010

Thankfully this is a commemorative plate for decorative purposes only. The last thing you’d want a plate dedicated to this Gore Vidal-penned, Bob Guccione-produced semi-mainstream porn film to do is touch your food. Still, it’s an attractive and statement-making set of crockery. This plate depicts Caligula’s entrance to the orgy. We hope to find the others as time goes on. Check your attics and basements, people! This titillating tribute was discovered at Otto’s Antiques in Hempstead, TX.

The Power of Consumerism Compels You!

September 20th, 2010

People have falsely accused iconic marketing images like Hello Kitty of being the product of satanic endeavors, but in this case I’m pretty sure it’s true. These little demonic hamsters are everywhere, and kids are just scooping them up. Did anyone notice the extensive power requirements to run them? I’m just sayin’ keep the holy water handy. By the way, do you think they asked Linda Blair for an endorsement? Although they can be found everywhere, this is one turned up at the St. Vincent’s Swap Meet in Corydon, KY.

Artificially Flavored, I Hope

September 18th, 2010

If you think about it, you’ll see the story here. Lesbian couple and ice cream entrepreneurs Bon & Jorry decided to celebrate the conception of their first child through artificial insemination with a new ice cream flavor, a spin-off of their popular Cake Batter. The unfortunate twist? They didn’t consult Urban Dictionary before deciding on the name. Let’s hope the child has better luck. Found at the O’Call Mini-Mart in Savoy, MA.