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Joined February 2007
Born March 21
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  1. Jan 10

    Don't drink and Tweet

    14,476 replies 106,761 retweets 401,765 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    Jan 10

    Which can you do 1. A Year Without Sex 2. A Year Without Twitter

    2,954 replies 1,017 retweets 9,453 likes
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  3. Jan 9

    Agreed

    8,188 replies 8,803 retweets 80,129 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    Jan 6

    return to work like you're Beyoncé's assistant

    306 replies 619 retweets 4,603 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    Jan 4

    Don’t be funnier than me in my replies or I’ll delete the whole tweet. Now no one gets to laugh

    800 replies 37,974 retweets 249,007 likes
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  6. Jan 2

    Scrolling through Twitter is cardio

    3,423 replies 19,636 retweets 85,153 likes
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  7. Jan 1

    New decade, drink water

    13,549 replies 291,189 retweets 944,242 likes
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  8. Dec 31

    woooooooohooooooo!

    6,257 replies 24,527 retweets 142,325 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    23 Dec 2019

    My brother has tweet notifications on for me and everytime I tweet he reads it out loud and the whole family boos

    165 replies 1,381 retweets 28,097 likes
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  10. 23 Dec 2019

    Hello. We will be out of the office until [date of return]. During this period we will have limited access to email. Tweet us.

    2,853 replies 3,665 retweets 33,310 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    19 Dec 2019

    learn the alphabets through 2019 twitter memes a thread:

    74 replies 2,899 retweets 9,008 likes
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  12. 18 Dec 2019

    Long URLs, no longer. Starting today, when you share a list on Twitter, it'll have an image instead of a URL on iOS and Android. Here’s ours. Your turn.

    545 replies 910 retweets 4,760 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    16 Dec 2019

    not a bad way to end the decade

    499 replies 88,448 retweets 293,735 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    16 Dec 2019

    Twitter put my tweet on a billboard in BUCKHEAD of all places!!!!! i can not wait to go physically see this for myself today! i’m literally about to cry. This has made being on Twitter for 10 Years so much more worth it 🙌

    145 replies 962 retweets 8,574 likes
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  15. 16 Dec 2019

    🎩🐰

    This is a photo of a billboard of a Tweet in Chicago, Illinois that says “wow, i want my Tweets to be on a billboard too @Twitter”.
    608 replies 1,400 retweets 12,029 likes
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  16. 13 Dec 2019

    The one person you wish would follow you

    63,256 replies 13,725 retweets 118,315 likes
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  17. 11 Dec 2019

    Give the gift of GIFs. You can now upload your iOS Live Photos as GIFs anywhere you upload photos on Twitter.

    485 replies 1,322 retweets 4,978 likes
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  18. 9 Dec 2019

    2⃣0⃣1⃣0⃣➖2⃣0⃣1⃣9⃣ 🧵

    0:20
    Part 1
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    128 replies 336 retweets 2,329 likes
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  19. 9 Dec 2019

    🕯️

    summoning circle, hope this works 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 serotonin 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯
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    54 replies 116 retweets 1,017 likes
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  20. 9 Dec 2019

    🚿

    hello fellow adults. my gf and i have a question... what is the correct amount of towels to own? i said 10 and she looked at me like i was crazy. we have zero frame of reference on the appropriate amount of towels in a household of two.
    74 replies 75 retweets 667 likes
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