Fremantle's new Premier coaching panel

Word on the street is that Victorian Premier Steve Bracks and his Deputy John Thwaites have stepped down from the top job to form the nucleus of a new 'uber-coaching panel' at Fremantle.The pair are said to be loading the station wagon for the trip across the Nullarbor as we speak, with Thwaitsy just securing the last of the occy straps around the surf ski.

Sources report that a third party will be travelling with the Premiership pair, a bloke named Kevin who reportedly spent much of this morning purchasing supplies from Liquorland Moonee Ponds.

In a statement released today, Mr Bracks said:

"We've always loved a bit of a surf and a paddle and quite frankly Perth beaches shit all over that effluent riddled pond we call Port Phillip Bay. Besides, Harty has promised us a top deal on all our new whitegoods and 50 per cent off all electrical products.

"We also see some synergy between the role we played in Victoria and the future of the Fremantle Football Club. If you imagine West Coast as the smug, arrogant, self assured Kennett government, we're that other mob that sneaks up behind and kicks their arses all the way to footballing obscurity."

Who is Ken Thomas

Hi folks

Apologies for my lack of correspondence and I hope I still have some return visitors who haven't been put off by re-reading my footy tipping from some weeks ago.

One of the main reasons I've been slack is that I've been helping a mate move his gear into a new beachside pad in Noosa. He retired a few weeks back and what with his salsa dancing, topiary and tai chi, he hasn't had time to blink.

Anyway, Ken is now safely ensconsed and enjoying a lifestyle replete with cable knit sweaters, white linen slacks and long walks on the beach. He is even considering growing a mo.

More about Ken Thomas, the man, the legend, here