Ten years ago Seth and I had our first date. It was 13 days long. I had left for Cambodia for the year the previous summer to teach 5th grade and left casually dating his best friend. But not so secretly (ie I’d “joke” about it all the time), I was in love with his best friend.
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From July to November, from Cambodia to New Jersey, we would gchat every day. He would give me advice about how to woo his best friend. He’d tell the best friend “you should marry this one. she’s amazing.” But I never took his advice because I wasn’t in love with the other guy.
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It was deeply frustrating for him. God, so oblivious. So around November I finally ended things with the best friend. And you’d think that we had this big moment of revelation about my being in love with him. Nope.
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We just weirdly shifted into talking about what we’d name our kids and how we’d tell our families about the relationship. We said we’d have two boys, two girls. We’d live in D.C. We named the girls and actually used one of the names we discussed.
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All of this before an in-person date, a kiss, or even a frank conversation about how we each felt. From early November to late December we did this. Finally, my Christmas break came and I flew back to New Jersey for a visit.
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We met in strawberry fields in Central Park after Shabbat because it seemed romantic. In reality it was cold and kind of dangerous and we had one cold, awkward kiss before leaving back to New Jersey transit.
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At that point I was thinking “god this is not exactly what I was picturing. This guy just destroyed his relationship with all of his childhood friends for me god this is so awkward.”
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The awkward lasted until we got on the train. At which point we became that disgusting couple you move away from on public transportation. Sorry, whoever was on the train that night.
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So we spent two weeks together and New Year’s Eve was the night before I flew back to Cambodia. We spent the night with all of the friends who now hated us because Seth broke the “Bro Code.” It was an insanely awkward evening.
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Before I got on the plane Seth gave me this shirt. He made one for himself. We were Team Sethany now. And it was him and me against literally everyone. Our friends, our families. NOBODY supported this relationship. We were too different, I had dated the friend, it moved too fast.
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I knew four days into that thirteen day date that I’d marry him. Before I got on the plane I mailed him a postcard that said “I love you.” It forced me to say it in person before he got it in the mail.
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A few days into that date, we made plans to meet literally halfway around the world in Istanbul for a two week vacation in Turkey and Israel in the spring. And that summer, I came home and the rest is history.
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The rest of my life started ten years ago tonight. I am eternally grateful that you took a chance on me
@SethAMandel. A non-Jewish girl with no money, living in Cambodia and adrift in every sense of the world. You are my home. I love you.Show this thread
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