I'm over the Aussie flag

Is it just me, or was this Australia Day a virtual patchwork quilt of Aussie flags flying from every vehicular orifice available?

I spent the long weekend up at Lancelin, two hours north of Perth, and the number of flags rose proportionately with the number of dirt / quad bikes on the back of trailers hitched up to preposterously large SUVs.

Greath swathes of sand dune conquering machinery festooned with the Aussie flag were lined up at the back of the bakery, as singleted, sand blown occupants spilled forth like ants joining the queue for their meat pies and iced coffee.

I am SO over that bloody flag.

The only saving grace was not actually seeing anyone wearing it this year. But there were plenty of board shorts, hats, bikinis and YES, singlets adorned with the Union Jack and its little mate the Southern Cross to make up for it.

What is it with all this OTT patriotism? Good lord, there was even a young bloke in the weekend paper getting the Southern Cross tattooed across his torso.

Funny thing is, I don't actually know anyone who had a car flag, or any other flag for that matter. Despite the fact that in Lancelin - and no doubt across WA - there were at least three flags for every man, woman, child and dog.

Is the crowd I mix with un-Australian? Is the fact that we find all this nationalist fervour somewhat cringeworthy a bad thing? I suspect not. At least we weren't hitting each other over the head with beer bottles.

But what is un-Australian is the fact that my local butcher ran out of lamb chops! Sam Kekovich's head finally made its way into my subconscious and I took heed of his mantra only for my butcher to let the side - no, no, the country - down.

Then the Aussie cricket team posted an epic-fail to lose the current series 3-1 and all of a sudden I didn't know what country I was in. I had a chicken stir-fry and watched a French film on SBS.

I WILL take the Christmas tree down next weekend...

Take your flag and stick it!

So here we go, another Australia Day around the corner and another 50,000 drunken yobs in boardshorts and Bintang singlets careening around draped in the national flag shouting, 'Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oy! Oy! Oy!'

Please, give me a break! I love living in this joint as much as the next bloke - unless he's the homeless person, in prison, or biding his time in a mouldy detention centre of course - but, enough with the nationalistic (is that a word?) flag waving fervour.

Wrapping the flag around your shoulders doesn't suddenly transform you from a boorish yob to one of our country's proud pioneers. It just makes you a nob. Pauline Hanson did it for fu&#@ sake and she's a ranga to boot!

And of course our esteemed newspaper has got in on the act and is selling the flag for $2 a pop. They even got Matt Rosa and Matt Pridis from the Eagles to help spruke the booty:

To help others get into the spirit of the day, The West Australian is offering readers the opportunity to grab an Australia Day flag for just $2. From tomorrow, readers can get their coupon in The West Australian and redeem it at participating newsagencies for a flag to wave at the fireworks or put on the car.

With only 50,000 flags on offer, Rosa said he wasn’t taking any chances. “I’m going to stick it on the car. It’s a really good idea,” he said.

Yep, only 50,000 - a nice $100,000 into The West's kitty, minus of course the cost of producing the flags. Made in China perhaps? Yeah, really good idea Matt.

These flags are of the really annoying variety that people clip to their car windows. 'Hello, yes, I'm an Australian and I have a friggen flag to prove it!'

Good lord people, you don't need to have the flag hanging from every orrifice to be a good Australian. We aren't Americans yet. And dare I ask what about the Aboriginal flag - where does that fit into the scheme of things?

Ah bugger it, pass me a beer and a burnt snag. Oy, fricken oy!

Will YOU be wearing the flag on Australia Day???